Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

2013 as it Happens

I haven’t posted too much lately here because I am on a year-long project summarizing 2013 as it happens.  I will still give (albeit sporadically) political commentary.  I will post tomorrow either tomorrow or Saturday what my cabinet would look like.  I will also alert you of any upcoming campaign trip as well as summarize any trip if for some bizarre reason you cannot attend a given event.

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January 10, 2013 Posted by | Ahmnodt, humor, politics | , , , , | Comments Off on 2013 as it Happens

Is Snooki an Ahmnodt Heare Supporter?

I have to admit that I haven’t watched “Jersey Shore.”  It is one of those things that those of us in the Jersey mountains care for.  There is a mutual resentment between the people of shore and the people of the mountains.

Snooki is a member of the “Jersey Shore” cast.  It is basically a show about stereotypical “Guidos” and “Guidettes.”  Most Italians go out of their way to shun the “Guidistic” lifestyle.  Italians have spent years fighting the “mafioso” stereotype only to get the “Guido” lable shoved down their throats.

Although I have never watched an episode of “Jersey Shore”, I have seen Snooki on the news and on various other shows.  She has a nice tan and would be the ideal candidate for the “Ahmnodt Girl” videos.  She used to get her tans at tanning salons until the federal government started charging a 10% tax on tanning.  Snooki added that John McCain would have never have voted for a 10% tanning tax because he is pale, unlike President Obama.  I am against the tanning tax for a different reason.  I am against it because it unfairly discriminates against those who do not have northern European ancestry.  It does that because northern Europeans are paler and get more tan for their tax dollars.

I received an e-mail from a supporter that made Snooki’s fight against the tanning beds to my fight against the CineMafia.  We have both taken on topics that the mainstream media is not talking about.  We both have a support base because we have championed causes that the media has chosen to ignore.

While we have fighting unhyped causes in common, this does not make Snooki a supporter of my campaign.  This does not mean I would not welcome her to the campaign with opened arms.  I could even find her a vacant Cabinet head position should she decide to join my campaign.

July 31, 2010 Posted by | campaign, commentary, editorial, health care, issues, satire | , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

Attention Tax Cheats!

I am looking for people to join my cabinet once I get elected.  Unfortunately, President Obama made it a prerequisite that only tax cheats would be considered for cabinet-level positions.

I am not partial to how you cheated on your taxes.  I don’t care if you failed to delcare income or claimed a deduction that doesn’t exist, I want you in my cabinet.  Please e-mail me your resume if you are interested in a cabinet position in an Ahmnodt Heare administration.

June 6, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, election, humor, politics, satire, taxes | , , , | Comments Off on Attention Tax Cheats!

A Glaring Omission

I have noticed many names being thrown around for cabinet positions for President-elect Barack Obama’s cabinet.  Names like Hillary Clinton, Bill Richardson, and John McCain have been mentioned for various positions.  But neither President-elect Obama nor the media pundits has mentioned Ahmnodt Heare.

It might be true that I don’t have much experience with foreign policy, banking (besides making deposits and overdraft protection), or the military, I do have a vast amount of experience in the theme of President-elect Obama’s campaign:  Change.

I would probably do things differently than the ways things are done now.  That’s because I have no idea what President Bush is doing.  I would do things differently by default.

Ahmnodt Heare being omitted from a cabinet position is bad for America and will decrease the likelihood that “change I can believe in” will occur.

I don’t

November 18, 2008 Posted by | campaign, change, election, foreign policy, issues, media, Obama, Platform, politics | , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

A New Cabinet Position that I Would Create

A Cabinet-Level position I would create is the Department of Future Events.  The position will be filled by Scott Sleek.  He has been predicting events that will be happening in the future for over 20 years.  He predicted in 1988 that the Barack Obama, a graduate student would be running against first-term Senator John McCain.  He also predicted that this would be the “YouTube” election.

You can read his future predictions here.

October 11, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, election, endorsement, Obama, satire | , , , , | 1 Comment

What My Cabinet Would Look Like

NOTE: Some are left blank. Be sure to check this page often as I fill my cabinet.

President: Ahmnodt Heare

Vice-President: Peasant Tim

Secretary of State: Oprah Winfrey

Chief of Staff: Olivia Wilder

Press Secretary: Tim Sharpe

Secretary of Commerce:  Paris Hilton

Secretary of the Interior: Martha Stewart

Secretary of Energy: Matthew Lesko

Secretary of Defense: Mike Singletary

Secretary of Health and Human Services:  Dr. Jack Kevorkian

Secretary of Education: George W. Bush

Secretary of the Treasury: Dennis Kozlowski

October 9, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, satire, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Why Tim Sharpe Would be my Press Secretary

As I posted three months ago, I started picking my brain trust for my cabinet should I be elected president.

Mr. Sharpe is not the first reporter to bring us stories about clown mutations and dual-purpose robots, he is the only journalist even mentioning it.  It was Mr. Sharpe’s journalistic excellence that brought to my attention the crisis of the humpback dolphin.   

Furthermore, Mr. Sharpe promised me that he will expose all ills of the Ahmnodt Heare administration to protect Americans.  Journalistic excellence and integrity are the reasons why I would be proud to have Tim Sharpe as my Press Secretary.

September 14, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, election, issues, Platform, satire | , , , , | 2 Comments

   

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