Chris Daggett for Governor
When I first heard that Chris Daggett was running for governor, I thought it was cool that a gold medal medalist was running for governor. I was later informed that the gymnast is Tim Daggett. The good news is that Chris Daggett is running as an Independent. He is currently polling at 20%. This should be a glaring message that a guy with almost no TV ads is within striking distance of both current governor Jon Corzine and the dude with a chick’s name Chris Christie. It is sad that the best the two parties could muster up to run for governor are Corzine and Christie.
I will be spending the next week and a half campaigning for Tim Chris Daggett. I will be explaining the importance of voting for somebody for governor and as President in 2012. Come join me in getting independents like Chris Daggett elected in 2009.
Why I’m Running for President
Some people might say I am setting my goals too high, but I’m not one of those people. I see a Congress that is more than willing to save big business from failing but does nothing for small businesses like the nudie bar down the street from me. I see a congress that wants America’s youth to volunteer while the only volunteering they have done is volunteer to give themselves raises.
I see a president who says he wants to help the average America, but has done nothing about the affordability of going to a movie. Movie prices have increased here recently as well as the price of refreshments. I see a president who says he wants to fight terrorism, but has done nothing to prevent the likes of William Shattner and Anne Murray from infiltrating our country.
I see a Democratic Party that complained about “trickle-down” economics, but gave trillions to failed businesses with none of that money trickling down. I see a Republican Party that claims to be fiscally conservative, but voted to fund a “bridge to nowhere” with a GOP Congress and President to a red state with Republican senators and a Republican governor.
This is why I am running for President as an Independent: Because I get it. I see that small businesses and families need help as much as big businesses and the Cinemafia. I see that prosperity cannot exist when money is taken from people trying to prosper to people who have prospered and blew the money. I see that people want ther bridges want to go from somewhere to somewhere else.
I can’t do this alone. (Unless I took over via a coup d’ e’tat, which I can’t because government too too much tax money for me to fund that. Besides, somebody might get hurt.) I need your help and I will need your vote. Because somebody has to look out for the average American.
Back Where I Belong
I am glad to be home after a long trip through western and central Europe. The bad luck has continued on this side of the pond. Once again, I find myself looking for a vice-presidential candidate. I will be holding a raffle for people interested in being my running mate. He or she must fit the Constitutional Requirements:
- At least 35 years of age
- A United States Citizen born in the United States
- No priors
Closet Celine Dion and Anne Murray fans need not apply. Star Trek fans may apply providing that they have a favorite character other than Captain Kirk. Those interested in the position can leave a note in the responses below.
The jet lag is beginning to get to me. I woke up at 6AM in Stockholm (which is Midnight Eastern Time.) I will probably go to bed early tonight.
Health Papers Released
FROM THE OFFICE OF DR. SYLVAIN DuLITTLE:
Paitent: Ahmnodt Heare
Date: Ailment:
10/27/05 Simple Chronic Halitosis
4/29/06 Ring-Around-the-Collar
5/11/06 Penile Discharge
5/18/06 Vaginal Discharge
4/3/07 Diagnosed with ADHD
Rachel Maddow Should Interview Me
Rachel Maddow has a show on MSNBC Monday – Friday 9PM Eastern / 6 Pacific / 9:30 AM (Tuesday-Saturday). I could make a name for her by allowing her to be the first media person to interview me on TV. I was once interviewed telepathically, and the transcript of the interview will be available soon.
She could also make a name for me by allowing me to be the first presidential candidate to be interviewed on her show. E-mail her ( rachel@msnbc.com) and kindly ask her to please interview Ahmnodt Heare.
The Best Write-in Candidates – Tetsujin’s Blog
The Best Write-in Candidates – Tetsujin’s Blog
I was going to post this on his (or her) blog as a reply, but the blog is not taking replies.
“I think you wrote this blog before finding out who I am. That’s OK. After checking out my platform, you will want to include me in this list.”
But since the blog is closed to comments, I must also add that Tetsujin did not do his (or her) homework. It is a shame that Tetsujin never knew about my campaign, otherwise I feel I would have been included.
Busy Times Ahead
The frequency of my blogging may be limited over the next month. It is a busy month for the campaign as I have the “Orgies for Abstinence” event coming up on Election night (this coming Tuesday). I will be attending the Meeting of Independent Presidential Candidates from the 13th through the 21st in the Bahamas.
It will be a busy month in my personal and professional lives. The meeting of Independent Presidential Candidates and Thanksgiving has caused all of my presentations to be moved up to the week of November 9. I will be working many 16-hour days the next two weeks (except this Tuesday). I will also have Patricia next weekend.
This is a hectic time and I might not be able to post every day. I am letting you know now so you don’t think I returned to the ashram or anything silly like that. Things will return to normal on Thanksgiving week.
For those who look forward to my weekly football picks, I will still do them. The picks for Weeks 10 and 11 will both be posted on November 12. The picks for Thanksgiving week will be posted the Tuesday before Thanksgiving.
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October 30, 2009 Posted by Ahmnodt Heare | Ahmnodt, commentary, satire | abstinence, ashram, candidate, Election Day, meeting, NFL, orgy, Thanksgiving | 2 Comments