Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Sports Programming Retards

Before you say anything, I am going to tell you how I define “retard” so my e-mail isn’t filled with hate mail.  I do not mean people who are mentally challenged.  They should not be made fun of.  I mean people who can think, but opt not to.  Those people should be made fun of, insulted, whatever it takes to get them to THINK!

The object of promoting sports is to promote the sport.  It sounds simple, but it goes over so many heads in the sports programming world.  This means putting the best games on TV and scheduling sports doubleheaders so that the second game can be seen in its entirely after the first game.

Saturday:  SNY (Sportsnet New York) had a college basketball doubleheader on their network.  The first game was Northern Colorado at Marquette at 4:00PM.  The second game was South Carolina State at Pittsburgh.  These are hardly marquee games (games this time of year are usually top-tier teams playing against weaker teams to fatten the win-loss records of the stronger team.  This is a time honored tradition.

At 6:00, Marquette was leading Northern Colorado 80-60 with five minutes remaining.  (Marquette would win 93-52.)  Instead of relieving viewers of five minutes of bad basketball, they should have switched to the South Carolina State-Pittsburgh game.  SNY ended up showing Northern Colorado fouling Marquette players so they could limit them to two point plays and try to overcome a 20-point deficit by shooting a bunch of three-point baskets.  Fouls stop the clock.  I could rant at Northern Colorado for thinking they could come back, but when one plays a game, one is never supposed to give up.)

By the time the Northern Colorado-Marquette game ended, the South Carolina State-Pittsburgh game was already halfway through the first half in a tight (at the time) game.  Pittsburgh ended up winning by a sizable margin, but they didn’t get it going until the second half.

My beef on Sunday was with CBS.  The last seven games of the season are subject to having one of the Sunday afternoon games switched to Sunday evening before a national audience on NBC.  The game NBC ended up showing last night was Baltimore at San Diego.  Rumor had it that NBC and the NFL wanted to show the New England at Denver game in that slot, but CBS and Patriots’ owner Robert Kraft nixed the deal.  I don’t know why Kraft was against it, but CBS was against it because it would have been the highest rated game with the most viewers.  The only problem is that the Patriots-Broncos game was not shown in New York City (CBS’s largest local market.)  People in New York were subject to watching the Jets get slaughtered by the Eagles.

Here is how to promote sports:

College basketball – Have a doubleheader, but schedule the games 2 1/2 hours apart.  The time between games can have a studio team who can split the time between games dissecting the previous game and previewing the upcoming game.

NFL Football – Change the late afternoon games to 4:30PM Eastern.  If there is a marquee game and a local game scheduled at the same time, sell the broadcasting rights of the local game to a television station in the local area.  There will still be a market for NFL Sunday ticket for Washington Redskins fans like me who don’t live in the market and know the Redskins aren’t going to be the marquee game very often, but still want to watch their game.

Schedule better, don’t be afraid to break away from a bad game to show another game in its entirety, and show viewers that you really want viewers.  This is my advice for the sports programming retards.


December 19, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, editorial, humor, satire | , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Morning Show Blitz

I hope I didn’t get anybody’s hopes up by suggesting that I was going to be interviewed on the morning shows.  None of the morning news shows have planned on interviewing me.  But the morning shows do provide an opportunity for us to get the campaign out.

The morning shows on the three oldest broadcast networks (ABC, CBS, and NBC) all have outdoor segments.  The shows’ hosts are often outside during at least part of the show.  George Stephanopolus, Harry Smith, and Matt Lauer have all interviewed presidential candidates before.  I just need a way to get their attention without disrupting their shows.

Here is my plan:  Sign Blitz.  Have three or four signs at every show the week of August 30-September 3.  A sign at each corner and either a sign in the middle or two signs equidistant to both corners and each other.  I’d like to get to the outdoor sets at least a half-hour before the shows every morning that week.   We will all meet at the steps of St. Patrick’s Cathedral at 6:00AM and go into further details as to who will be where on each day.  I will try to attend each show each day.  The schedule I have is tentative depending on the success of the signs and if any of the anchors (or Al Roker) wish to interview me.  Below are the signs I plan on using for the shows:

I don’t know if we should use the white signs, the black signs, or both.  Notice that the web address for this website are in the middle of the sign.  I am thinking of having some of the signs (one at each show) contain the URL  of the radio show.  I will be discussing the morning show blitz in greater detail on my radio show Tuesday night.

Below is the map of the St. Patrick’s Cathedral in New York City.  It’s on 5th Avenue between 50th and 51st Streets.  It’s near Rockefeller Center, where “Today” is filmed.  “Good Morning America” and “CBS Early Show” are both within ten blocks and are a relatively quick walk.

If you have any comments about the color of the sign or the content (URL, candidate, etc.) then feel free to leave a comment below.

August 1, 2010 Posted by | campaign, humor, media, politics | , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

AFC Championship Prediction

Baltimore (13-5) at Pittsburgh (13-4) – 6:30PM Eastern (CBS)

There is no conference championship game like games played against division rivals.  These teams know each each other, and as Captain Obvious Dan Dierdorf would say, “These teams really don’t like each other.”  The weather in Pittsburgh in January can’t be too tropical, and both teams love defenses.  It seems these games always end up being high scoring.

Steelers 40 Ravens 34

NFC Championship Prediction

January 13, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, Uncategorized | , , , , , | 1 Comment


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