Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Why I Have to Run for President

I was hoping that I would not have to run for President in 2016.  My life is getting more hectic as my parents’ health conditions are not getting better, my daughter and her mother are getting ready to move away, and the local “Hello Kitty” fan club is getting chaotic due to the lack of a fan club president.

The sad truth is that America is in bad shape now, and will continue to get worse if any for the popular candidates considering a run for president ends up getting elected.  Hillary Clinton isn’t going to fix anything.  Neither will Jeb Bush, Chris Christie, or Rand Paul.  they will just continue the same debacle of a plan that America has been on since George W. Bush took office in 2001.  America will soon cease to exist as we know it if any of these people get elected.  They all would continue to carry out the same policies that George W. Bush and Barack Obama have carried out.  My platform is refreshingly different.

We cannot continue to have our police harass the good people when there are so many bad people who need to be arrested.  People like drug dealers, hoodlums, and hipsters need to be taken off the streets and into a jail that doesn’t have internet.  The system that the government uses to calculate inflation has to change to a system that includes the prices of things that go up.  Otherwise, you end up with what we have now.  (“Low” inflation based on the cost of merchandise at Dollar Tree.)

We need a foreign policy that discourages the knee-jerk reaction of bringing the troops all over the world to intervene in every situation.  Our wars have to be few, brief, and fiscally responsible.  They also have to be fought as humanely as possible.

The IRS needs to be taken out of health care, day care, and lemonade stands.  The TSA needs to be taken out of airports and replaced with massage therapists.  The FDA has to be told that cell phones are neither a food nor a drug and that cell phones shouldn’t have to meet FDA guidelines.

I am running for President because I want an America that I, my child, your children, and Nadia Suleman’s children can live in without fear of government becoming bankrupt either fiscally or morally and can plan a better lives for their children and grandchildren.

 

June 29, 2014 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, election, foreign policy, health care, humor, issues, Personal Life, politics, satire, taxes | , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Why I Have to Run for President

Too Tired to Blog

I was going to blog today about something in the political world, but I am too tired.  It doesn’t help that I forgot what I was going to blog about.  I wasn’t going to blog even if I did remember because I am tired.

I wasn’t going to blog about the NSA because everybody else already has.  I have nothing to add about the NSA or about Whistleblower Edward Snowden that  hasn’t already been blogged about.  The NSA reads this blog, and I don’t want to tick them off and have them listen to my phone conversations.  I don’t have a Verizon phone, so I am safe for the time being.

There will not be any writing about the upcoming elections this year in New Jersey.  It’s bad enough the election for governor is five months away.  Both Chris Christie and Barbara Buono are already running ads.  There is also the primary election (August) and special election (October) for the US Senate seat to replace the late Frank Lautenberg.

I haven’t slept too well these last few nights.  Tomorrow will be a better day to blog (assuming I have electricity as heavy thunderstorms are expected here.)

June 12, 2013 Posted by | Ahmnodt, humor, politics | , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

A Surprise for my Campaign Manager

My Campaign Manager does not know this yet, but he is running for U.S. Senate from New Jersey.  I have taken the privilege of taking the role of being his campaign manager.  The one drawback is that he will be paying his what I have been paying him.  My running a penniless campaign has prevented me from paying him.

Why am I doing this?  The answer is simple:  I am going to need help to pass my platform through Congress.  The current bunch of characters in Washington are pro-Cinemafia and are not interested in my energy, crime, or any other plans I have to offer.  It is important  to have people who support my campaign and my positions run for the House and Senate.  This will help me when I win the 2016 Presidential Election.

The reason why I am doing this now is because of the vacancy in the U.S. Senate due to the passing of Senator Frank Lautenberg.  The election to replace him will be on October 16.  Governor Chris Christie has chosen his buddy to be acting Senator until the special election.

I cannot wait to tell him he is running for Senate.  I will set up his campaign website as soon as he approves and decides to run.  Setting everything up now will only mean that he will decide not to run.  That’s the way things always work out.  I hate working in vain and doing all of the work required to start a campaign only to find out he isn’t interested in running for Senate.

I am off to tell him the great news.  Wish me luck!

June 6, 2013 Posted by | campaign, commentary, election, humor, Platform, politics, satire | , , , | 1 Comment

Post-Sandy Timeline

Few things scare me.  Hurricane Sandy scared me.  The last time I got as scared as Monday night was when I heard a rumor that Anne Murray was coming out with a new CD.  I lost power just before 8:00PM Monday night.  During that time, I heard three trees crash to the ground and a howling wind like I had never heard  before.  I regained power at 12:30AM, but the surge killed my old computer.  Below is a timeline of how the rest of my week went:

  • Tuesday – I had no phone service and no internet to watch Roku.  Cable TV was working, but only a few stations were up. (Two shopping networks, two Spanish networks, and WPIX.)
  • Wednesday – The rest of the networks came back online.  News was showing all of the flooding in Queens, Manhattan, and Long Island.  Finding a gas station that was opened and had gas was harder to find than a needle in a haystack.
  • Thursday – The news stations started showing footage from the Jersey Shore.  The “Habitat for Hotties” house I helped build in 2008 was demolished by Sandy.
  • Friday – Spent most of the day battling Montezuma’s Revenge.  I found out later in that there was a water advisory since Tuesday and that I was supposed to be boiling my drinking water.  I only mentioned it because Governor Chris Christie mentioned it during a hurricane recovery update.
  • Saturday (Today) – My computer finally arrived.  I am still trying to figure out Windows 8.  My last computer had Vista as the operating system.  Gas rationing is now in effect with “odd-even days” depending on the last number on the license plate.  I am odd.

I will not be participating in this year’s “Orgies for Abstinence due to the hotel it was to be held at needs the room for Sandy refugees from the coast.  I will instead be celebrating my election victory with close friends.

November 3, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, humor, politics, satire | , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Scaring them Away

Former governor of Alaska Sarah Palin has decided she will not run for President in 2012.  This announcement came one day after current governor of New Jersey Chris Christie said he will not seek the Presidency in 2012.  The reason why they have decided to drop out while the others have decided to run is simple:  Palin and Christie know me.

In this interview with Larry King in 2010, Sarah Palin tried to scare Larry King by calling me crazy.  By the time she was done talking, Larry King was ready to endorse my campaign.

Sarah Palin spoke in this attack ad.  It was filled with inaccuracies and parts were confusing.  It seemed at the end like she suggested you’d vote for me.

I do not have any videos of Chris Christie talking about me, but he has been the governor for almost two years of the state I reside in.  I don’t know what he knows about me, but it seems I am enough of a threat to keep him from running.

The other candidates and President Obama can learn a lesson from Governors Palin and Christie.  Don’t mess with the Ahmnodt.  (That’s probably not the lesson they learned, but it sounded good.)

October 5, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, election, humor, politics, Republicans, satire | , , , | Comments Off on Scaring them Away

Dropping Like Flies

I had thought that there would be a ton of Republicans licking their chops at the opportunity to run against Barack Obama.  There have been a few announcements thus far.  One candidate is a businessman I never heard of.  The other is Jimmy McMillan.  I had endorsed Mr. McMillan for Governor of New York in 2010.  I am disappointed he has chosen to run against me after I decided not to run for Governor of New York last year.  (Mainly because I am a Washington DC man living in New Jersey, though that did not stop some people from campaigning for me.)

But now there have been some announcements from prominent Republicans stating they will not be running for President.  First it was my governor, Chris Christie.  He says he has to fix New Jersey’s problems first.  If he can do that, I’ll probably vote for him in 2020 (after I serve my two terms).

Senator John Thune (Not of “Name That Thune” fame as I once thought) announced he won’t run for President.  He said that he could better serve America as a Senator.  I agree with him.

Congressman Ron Paul has yet to made a decison as to whether or not he will run.  He said he was going to wait until after his “money bomb” on President’s Day.  While the money bomb was able to raise over $700,000, it has yet to lead to a decision.  Should he decide to run, he will have a fan base almost as passionate and devoted as my supporters.

The other candidates in the “Will-They-or-Won’t-They” mode include Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Sarah Palin, Donald Trump, and Donald Rumsfeld.  The longer these people wait, the easier it will be for me to win next November. My advice to these people (and anybody else wishing to run) is to wait until 2020 when my two terms are up and I will not be allowed to run.  It will help your campaign to say that you will continue the path set by President Ahmnodt Heare.

February 23, 2011 Posted by | campaign, commentary, editorial, election, humor, politics, Republicans, satire | , , , , , | 2 Comments

Hello Out There!

Two weeks after I moved, I am pleased to announce that I once again have internet service.  The business client that dropped me when I couldn’t get the projects I had done for him has decided to go with my ideas and has rehired me.  Governor Chris Christie mentioned me during a press conference.  he said, “Ahmnodt Heare to make friends.”  I’m glad he realizes that I am a friendly fellow.

It might take me a while to get back in the groove of blogging without the need to rush what I am trying to think.  I hope to get back in the groove by November.  This will give me two whole years to get stuff done.

I am heading off to bed.  I have a lot to do tomorrow so I can rest over the weekend.

May 27, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, editorial, humor, satire | , , , , | 1 Comment

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