Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Canada’s New Plan of Attack

For the last fifty years, Canada’s mode of attack has been to have their spies infiltrate the Great American Entertainment Industry and ruin our last remaining export.  Some of their more infamous spies include William Shatner, Celine Dion, Anne Murray, and Justin Bieber.  The Canadian government has reached a new low with their newest tactic.  It is a complicated plan that hurts not only American citizens, but also their own.

First, Canada drives their prices so high that things become hard to afford in Canada.  Gas is around $5.00/gallon in British Columbia while it’s about $3.80 in Washington State.  Here is a cost-of-living comparison between Vancouver, BC and Seattle, WA.  Canadians know things are less expensive in the United States so they hit American stores en mass and hoard essentials like milk, eggs, and cigarettes before Americans can get to them.

There are two ways to handle this:  Raise the prices of things in Americs so it’s as bad here as in Canada.  This is a bad idea unless you are rich and have a ton of disposable income.  The other plan is to sabotage the Canadian Dollar to the point that it would be virtually worthless in the United States.  That’s why I just came up with a third idea.  He;p the Canadian citizens petition their government.  This will not only make things more affordable for Canadians to shop in Canada, but it will finally put an end to their government’s tampering with American entertainment.

I should mention that no other presidential candidate has even mentioned this as of this posting.  84 shopping days until Election Day.

August 14, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Canada, commentary, economy, foreign policy, humor, issues, satire | , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Defending a Loyal Supporter

I have to admit that who I am defending here isn’t just a loyal supporter, he is my campaign manager.  He has a habit of making bonehead decisions.  Some of those bonehead decisions have involved my campaign.  Let’s just say I won’t be campaining in Liechtenstein any time soon.

There was something he posted in a New York Mets fan page on Facebook.  (Why he’s a Mets fan is beyond my comprehension, but I digress.)  It was in a reply to a high school pitcher throwing his fourth consecutive no-hitter and fellow Mets fans suggesting the Mets try to sign him.  For some reason, some people took it as a racist remark, but I did not.  Below is his comment:

“If he becomes a Mexican or Dominican citizen, he could pitch for the Mets now.”

It is said that New York fans are knowledgeable about sports.  They just don’t know who to root for.  (Go Nationals!)  The key word that he said in his quote is “citizen.”  It is key because of current Major League Baseball rules.  Major League rules prohibit a U.S. ball ballplayer from being drafted before his 18th birthday.  Teams are allowed to draft players from Latin American countries when the player turns 16 years old.

People responding to the post  did not see the word “citizen”  and jumped on the “Mexican” and “Dominican” comments.  One of them further suggested that the poster was unaware that Omar Minaya was no longer the General Manager of the Mets.  Some people have accused Minaya of favoring Latino players as free agents.  The original post does not suggest that the Mets favor Latino players. He later explained that the Mets should try to get the player (a non-Latino) to become a citizen of a Latin America country.

It’s funny how so many things end up like a Three’s Company episode.

April 20, 2011 Posted by | campaign, commentary, editorial, humor, scandal | , , , , , | 6 Comments

   

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