Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Behind the Scenes of a New Law

The most evil people in government isn’t who we elect, it’s who they select.  Most politicians aren’t evil.  They are looking out for their futures.  Their motivation is money for their re-election campaigns and helping out their “buddies” who helped them get elected.  It is these “buddies” who are evil.  They are opportunistic and often write the laws that the politicians would pass.

One example is the latest soft drink law passed by New York City’s City Council.  It was a pet project by Mayor Michael Bloomberg and passed by the Council.  The law, which prohibits soft drinks to be sold in open containers larger than 16 fluid ounces in places like movie theaters and restaurants.  A customer can still buy 32 ounces of soda, but it has to be in two 16 ounce cups instead of a big gulp cup.

The official reason why this bill became law is that it “fights obesity.”  If City Council really wanted to fight obesity, they would have also banned larger sized bottles of soda.  They could have banned Twinkies.  They could have mandated exercise.  They didn’t.  There is more to this law that meets the eye.

People aren’t going to movies as often as they used to.  The Cinemafia has to recoup their losses somehow.  People are already complaining about the prices of soda and popcorn in concession stands.  They can’t just quit selling large sodas on their own – it’s too unnatural.  So they talk to their local City Councilperson as a “concerned citizen”.  They claim that people are getting obese because of large soft drinks at movie theaters and at restaurants.  They include restaurants as a guise because restaurants are dead against such a law and the Cinemafia doesn’t want to give the appearance that they will be the only people to benefit from the new law.

How does the Cinemafia benefit from this law?  They benefit by getting more money for soda without raising prices.  A 16-ounce soda goes for about $4.00 while a 32-ounce goes for $5.00.  By emphasizing that the new law allows customers to buy two 16-ounce sodas instead of one 32-ounce soda, they can charge $8.00 instead of the $5.00 they currently get for 32 ounces.

This bill will not combat obesity.  It won’t stop customers from getting obese nor will it do anything to slim the wallets of the Cinemafia.  The next time you hear that someone is a “concerned citizen”, find out why he or she is so concerned.

 

September 16, 2012 Posted by | campaign, cinemafia, commentary, editorial, health care, humor, issues, legislation, politics, satire | , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Another Politician Follows My Lead

I made a stop on Chew Street in Allentown, PA to meet an old college buddy between campaign stops.  There is a cemetery across the street from his apartment.  A middle-aged man was talking to a tombstone.  He walked to the next tombstone and talked to that one.  My curiosity was getting to me.

“I am asking for your vote.” he said to the tombstone .   He was campaigning in the cemetery, something I started doing this two years ago as a way to siphon votes from Democrats.  He had a good message, but he was going about it all wrong.  Below is the advice I gave him (which you should use when campaigning for me in cemeteries)

  • Talk to the burial spot – not to the tombstone.  Many newbies make this mistake and it’s often costly.  The deceased will think you are talking to somebody else or they will think you are crazy for talking to a piece of granite.
  • Get low – They are under ground and have a hard time hearing you with all of that dirt on top of them.  They also can’t get their head up any higher.
  • Listen to them – This can’t be emphasized enough.  Many loved ones make the mistake of talking but not listening.  Don’t be a loved one – listen!

The fellow, who is running for Allentown City Council as an independent, was a quick learner.  From what I was able to hear from the deceased, they were happy with him and many have intended to vote for him.

October 23, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, election, humor, satire | , , , , | 2 Comments

   

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