Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

2012 in Review – February

February was a mixed month.  The good news was that I received an endorsement from Donald Trump’s toupee and the celebration of the fourth anniversary of this blog.

The bad news was that there were over 800 Republican debates in February and I wasn’t invited to any of them.  My father took me he was going to introduce me to Mitt Romney during CPAC.  It turned out to be a man named Mitch Rodney, who was also running for President.

February is when people realized I was too liberal to be conservative and too conservative to be liberal.  I was penned as an “extreme moderate” by myself.   I showed that I was the candidate of moderation and common sense.  (Yet I received fewer votes than either Obama or Romney.)

February was the month of TAMPON (Take All Money Political Out Now), the first and only SuperPAC to support the campaign.  As demonstrated by this ad,  they were as fiscally conservative as I am.

December 21, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, humor, satire | , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Fiscal Conservatism Applied

Fiscal Conservatism is not just a political talking point to me – It is a lifestyle choice.  One way to tell is a candidate is truly fiscally conservative is how he or she spends one’s own money.  Another way is seeing how campaign finance money is spent.  Will that candidate run up debt for his or her campaign in a desperate attempt to get elected?

I can’t comment on any specific candidate at this time due to the lack of certified candidates for President.  I can safely say, however, that I will be the most fiscally conservative candidate for President in the 2012 election.  Below are some examples of my fiscal conservatism and how I plan on implementing it in the White House:

  • Coupons – I am a big believer of coupons and rebates and often save 20-30% on my grocery bills every week.  I do not get so excited about coupons that I buy something just because I have a coupon for it.  While I take advantage of coupons for orange juice and shaving cream, I do not use coupons for tampons because I currently do not have a need for tampons.
  • Rebates – There is no greater feeling than money in your pocket.  I use the same criteria for buying stuff offering rebates as I do offering coupons.  I will appoint a Coupon Czar whose job will be to clip coupons, file for rebates, and find other ways to save money.
  • Generic Brands – Many times the biggest difference between generic brands and brand name items is that the generic brand is not advertised or marketed in the same matter as brand name items.  Both generic sugar and brand name sugar are C12H22O11.
  • Eat at Home – I rarely eat at restaurants.  You can save a lot of money by eating at home.  Nothing is more romantic than finding someone to sucker into cooking you dinner.
  • Grow your own – You can save a lot of money by growing your own corn, peas, lettuce, and marijuana instead of buying it at the store.

I have taken fiscal conservatism to my campaign.  I spent $.60 on my 2008 campaign.  I have spent no money on the 2012 campaign.  I didn’t file with the FEC because I didn’t want to waste money on a filing fee.  While I will not appear on any ballot, I could still be elected with a vigorous write-in campaign.

You can vote for somebody who claims to be a fiscal conservative but continue to run up deficits, or you could vote for somebody who has walked the walk in generic shoes.  I walk that walk and I have the shoes to prove it.

July 29, 2010 Posted by | campaign, commentary, economy, editorial, election, humor, issues, satire, write-in | , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Ahmnodt the Fiscal Conservative

If you want to vote for a true fiscal conservative, candidate Ahmnodt Heare has McCain and Obama beat.

Projected Spending for campaigns for October, 2008:

Obama: $110,000,000
McCain: $70,000,000
Heare: $.30

I didn’t want to spend the 30 cents, but I needed a couple of posters for tonight’s Meet-and-Greet in Vernon, NJ. My campaign is run solely on word-of-mouth campaigning and volunteer enthusiasm.

In these tough economic times, it’s just not right to ask people to part with their hard-earned money to spend on a political campaign.  I believe that people should use their money for what they want to:  entertainment, booze, and (starting on November 1), discounted Halloween candy.

If you want to live in a lifetime of perpetual debt, then feel free to vote for John Obama or Barack McCain.  If you want to quit sending money to Washington, vote for the candidate who will quit spending it:  Ahmnodt Heare.

October 23, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, debt, Democrats, economy, election, issues, Obama, Platform, Republicans, satire, speech | , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

The Alternative for Conservative Republicans

For those of you who have already partaken in a caucus or a primary, this does not apply to you. For conservative Republicans everywhere else, please pay attention.

You don’t like John McCain. You’d rather eat glass than vote for him. Mike Huckabee, Ron Paul, and Alan Keyes (where available) don’t excite you either. And under no circumstances will you vote for Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton. If you sit at home, you are only denying your fundamental right to vote.

I suggest using the system to get your voice heard. Don’t stay home and let others decide your fate. Send a message to Washington and to your fellow Americans and tell them, “Ahmnodt Heare!”

Please write my name (Ahmnodt Heare) in for President. Together we can straighten the Republican Party and make the United States of America the best country ever!

February 19, 2008 Posted by | campaign, speech | , , , , , | Comments Off on The Alternative for Conservative Republicans

   

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