Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Behind the Scenes of a New Law

The most evil people in government isn’t who we elect, it’s who they select.  Most politicians aren’t evil.  They are looking out for their futures.  Their motivation is money for their re-election campaigns and helping out their “buddies” who helped them get elected.  It is these “buddies” who are evil.  They are opportunistic and often write the laws that the politicians would pass.

One example is the latest soft drink law passed by New York City’s City Council.  It was a pet project by Mayor Michael Bloomberg and passed by the Council.  The law, which prohibits soft drinks to be sold in open containers larger than 16 fluid ounces in places like movie theaters and restaurants.  A customer can still buy 32 ounces of soda, but it has to be in two 16 ounce cups instead of a big gulp cup.

The official reason why this bill became law is that it “fights obesity.”  If City Council really wanted to fight obesity, they would have also banned larger sized bottles of soda.  They could have banned Twinkies.  They could have mandated exercise.  They didn’t.  There is more to this law that meets the eye.

People aren’t going to movies as often as they used to.  The Cinemafia has to recoup their losses somehow.  People are already complaining about the prices of soda and popcorn in concession stands.  They can’t just quit selling large sodas on their own – it’s too unnatural.  So they talk to their local City Councilperson as a “concerned citizen”.  They claim that people are getting obese because of large soft drinks at movie theaters and at restaurants.  They include restaurants as a guise because restaurants are dead against such a law and the Cinemafia doesn’t want to give the appearance that they will be the only people to benefit from the new law.

How does the Cinemafia benefit from this law?  They benefit by getting more money for soda without raising prices.  A 16-ounce soda goes for about $4.00 while a 32-ounce goes for $5.00.  By emphasizing that the new law allows customers to buy two 16-ounce sodas instead of one 32-ounce soda, they can charge $8.00 instead of the $5.00 they currently get for 32 ounces.

This bill will not combat obesity.  It won’t stop customers from getting obese nor will it do anything to slim the wallets of the Cinemafia.  The next time you hear that someone is a “concerned citizen”, find out why he or she is so concerned.

 

September 16, 2012 Posted by | campaign, cinemafia, commentary, editorial, health care, humor, issues, legislation, politics, satire | , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Here Now the News

I am able to pick up on most things before anything else.  What I was told today seemed to be one of those things I should have figured out right away, but ended up being the last person to know.  (Like the person who finds out his or her spouse has been cheating for years.)  I was told today that the media will make ANYTHING a news story just to make sure word of my candidacy and my campaign never makes it to the news.

There is a lot happening in the world, but three stories have been dominating the news all week.  One is somewhat understandable as it involves the President of the United States (The current one, Barack Obama, not the future one, Ahmnodt Heare.)  President Obama had flipped-flopped “evolved” his views about gay marriage and decided to favor it.  “Tanorexic Mom” and “Stripper Hot Dog Vendor” were also news stories, though neither of those stories will affect more than four or five people.  The latter two stories are only news stories because the mainstream media doesn’t want you to know I am a candidate for the President of the United States.  I believe this is because the same people who own the news networks also own the motion picture studios.

The alternative media hasn’t treated my campaign any better.  Instead of focusing on people who can solve problems (me), they chose to conjure all kinds of conspiracy theories.  Everything from the “second shooter” to “inside job” to “new Coke” were discussed in painful detail with little chance to hear the solutions I have to offer.

It is this reason (among others) that I have said in the past to “Tell all of your friends and half of your enemies about my campaign.”  The media won’t mention me, and because I am not a millionaire, I still have to work for a living and cannot campaign 24 hours a day 7 days a week like Obama or Romney.  I can’t give speeches on the floor of the House of Representatives like Ron Paul.  I can’t even find a boot that fits on my head like Vermin Supreme.  I am just one man on a mission to make America better than Belarus.

May 10, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, election, humor, media, politics, satire | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

US Troops

I would not let troops serve under foreign command. How would I explain to Americans that we were attacked by American troops directed under a foreign entity? This would give conspiracy theorists a field day.

April 13, 2008 Posted by | campaign | , , | Comments Off on US Troops

   

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