Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

New York Campaign Stops

I will be hitting the road tomorrow and will be spending the weekend campaigning in the Lower Hudson Valley section (West of the Hudson).  Tomorrow night is technically not a campaign stop, but I will be attending a fundraiser for victims of spousal and parental abuse.  Spousal abuse is not one of those topics that is controversial.  People are either against it or they are the perpetrators.

Saturday morning will be spent at a street corner somewhere in Marlboro, NY where I will be unveiling my new contraception plan.  The Supreme Court recently ruled that Hobby Lobby (and other companies) are not obligated to provide medical coverage for contraception.  My plan is to have contraception drop-off sites and give the contraception to people who have been complaining about the ruling.  These people need contraception and we need to give them contraception because the last need we need is for these people reproducing.

There will be two stops on Saturday evening.  The first stop will be at the Hudson Water Club in West Haverstraw, NY.  I will give a speech on water pollution and how to clean up the Hudson River.  I will have the filter from my fish tank  ready as soon as I can find an extension cord to plug the filter so it can operate.  (There are no outlets in the Hudson River as far as I know.)  The second will be at the Lexington Bar and Grill in Bardonia.  I will either offer a sensible property tax plan or I will offer advice on how to move out of the area.  What I speak about depends on the mood of the crowd.  If they start lighting torches and moving towards me, I will change the subject.

I will be in Nanuet on Sunday morning, but only to pick up the world famous rolls from Rockland Bakery.  They deliver rolls from New England to Delaware.  My campaign manager swears by them, so I will do him a favor and pick him up some rolls.

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July 17, 2014 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, humor, satire | , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on New York Campaign Stops

My Solution to the Hobby Lobby Supreme Court Decision

The Supreme Court ruled in favor of Hobby Lobby in stating that Hobby Lobby did not have to provide coverage for contraception to their employees because they objected on religious grounds.  What needs to be done now is not bickering over whether the decision was the correct decision or not.  People who cannot afford contraception still need contraception.  My solution is to have a fundraiser and raise money so these people can have access to contraception.

It is important to make sure these people get contraception for two reasons: 1)If they cannot afford contraception, then they cannot afford raising a baby.  The more people needing help raising a baby, the greater the financial strain it will be for all Americans.  2)If they can’t figure out a way to get a few bucks for condoms or a few more bucks for the pill, then they’re probably not smart enough to figure out to hold their sexual urges as much as possible until things get better financially.

If there is enough positive response to this idea, I will set up a donation page sometime after the Fourth of July holiday weekend.

July 2, 2014 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, editorial, health care, humor, issues, satire | , , , , , , , | Comments Off on My Solution to the Hobby Lobby Supreme Court Decision

How Not to Run a Congressional Hearing

Daniel Issa, pay attention!

These were the people Daniel Issa asked about women’s contraception.

If you’re going to hold a hearing, the first thing you will want to do is to find people who are experienced in the subject in which you are holding the hearing.  By looking at the picture above, I could easily conclude that none of the people being questioned has ever been on “the pill” or have used a diaphragm.  These gentlemen would be better suited to field questions about religion or religious rights.

If you are like me, you don’t go to a mechanic to get immunized or a personal trainer for tax advice.  Why would anybody go to male clergymen about women’s contraception?  While the rabbis and the Protestant ministers might be married, the Catholic priest probably is not.

If you are holding an investigation hearing, you will want to ask questions that are relevant to whatever it is you are trying to find out. Don’t ask a nutritionist a recipe for a casserole if the object of the hearing is to find the reasoning for the obesity epidemic.  You can get the recipe after the hearing.

If you want to hold a congressional hearing and look good doing it, then ask qualified people relevant questions.  Otherwise you’ll end up like this current congress with a 10% approval rating.

February 17, 2012 Posted by | commentary, editorial, humor, issues, satire | , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

   

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