Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Fiscal Conservatism Applied

Fiscal Conservatism is not just a political talking point to me – It is a lifestyle choice.  One way to tell is a candidate is truly fiscally conservative is how he or she spends one’s own money.  Another way is seeing how campaign finance money is spent.  Will that candidate run up debt for his or her campaign in a desperate attempt to get elected?

I can’t comment on any specific candidate at this time due to the lack of certified candidates for President.  I can safely say, however, that I will be the most fiscally conservative candidate for President in the 2012 election.  Below are some examples of my fiscal conservatism and how I plan on implementing it in the White House:

  • Coupons – I am a big believer of coupons and rebates and often save 20-30% on my grocery bills every week.  I do not get so excited about coupons that I buy something just because I have a coupon for it.  While I take advantage of coupons for orange juice and shaving cream, I do not use coupons for tampons because I currently do not have a need for tampons.
  • Rebates – There is no greater feeling than money in your pocket.  I use the same criteria for buying stuff offering rebates as I do offering coupons.  I will appoint a Coupon Czar whose job will be to clip coupons, file for rebates, and find other ways to save money.
  • Generic Brands – Many times the biggest difference between generic brands and brand name items is that the generic brand is not advertised or marketed in the same matter as brand name items.  Both generic sugar and brand name sugar are C12H22O11.
  • Eat at Home – I rarely eat at restaurants.  You can save a lot of money by eating at home.  Nothing is more romantic than finding someone to sucker into cooking you dinner.
  • Grow your own – You can save a lot of money by growing your own corn, peas, lettuce, and marijuana instead of buying it at the store.

I have taken fiscal conservatism to my campaign.  I spent $.60 on my 2008 campaign.  I have spent no money on the 2012 campaign.  I didn’t file with the FEC because I didn’t want to waste money on a filing fee.  While I will not appear on any ballot, I could still be elected with a vigorous write-in campaign.

You can vote for somebody who claims to be a fiscal conservative but continue to run up deficits, or you could vote for somebody who has walked the walk in generic shoes.  I walk that walk and I have the shoes to prove it.

July 29, 2010 Posted by | campaign, commentary, economy, editorial, election, humor, issues, satire, write-in | , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Redeeming Coupons

I went to the store to buy cigarettes this morning.  I get to the counter and was told a pack costs $5.65 with tax.  I didn’t have any money so I gave her 11,300 coupons.  She said she couldn’t accept them.  I tried to point out that each coupon had “CASH VALUE 1/20 OF A CENT”, but she still refused.

The manager came to the counter.  I told the manager the situation.  the clerk said something else, making the manager think I was trying to buy cigarettes with food stamps.

“What does this say?”  I asked the manager.

“It says, ‘Cash value 1/20 of a cent’.”

I told the manager that I had the coupons paper-clipped in piles of 20.  I had 25 bundles in a 5X5 pattern.  This made for 500 coupons in each bundle with a value of 25 cents in each bundle.  I gave her 4 bundles at a time 5 times (this made for $5.00.)  She then received 2 bundles and 15 piles of coupons for a net value of $5.65.

Most of the coupons were “50 Cents Off  Tampax Brands.”  I don’t have any use for Tampax, but since they had a cash value, I saved them.  The woman behind the counter could probably use the 50 cents.  I don’t want to say she needed hygiene, but she could have saved herself over $5,000.

I was thanked by the manager for wrapping and counting the coupons.  (I learned my lesson from the 7-11 I was kicked out of for handing in coupons by placing them loosely on the counter.)  He then explained that nobody really redeems the cash value anymore.  The coupons were left on the counter and I left.  Coupons for maxi-pads and tampons aren’t going to do me any good.

March 1, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, economy | , , , | 1 Comment

This year’s deficit will be at $430 billion. What are you going to cut back?

I would cut back troops in Iraq and Afghanistan.  20% of the troops will be used in the 9-5 War against Canada.  The money saved will be used for innovative ways to save money for the government.  I am willing to create the position of Coupon Czar.  The Coupon Czar will administer coupons and give then to agencies that spend money.

October 15, 2008 Posted by | Afghanistan, Ahmnodt, campaign, Canada, debate, debt, economy, election, issues, Platform, satire | , , , , | 3 Comments

The Priorities I would Give Up to Save the Economy

I would make public servants work for a servant’s wage.  I would give up Air Force Two amd make the Vice-President walk to wherever he or she needed to go.  I would mandate that people who shop with government money use coupons.  I would encourage people who want to volunteer for the government to put in a lot of hours.

September 26, 2008 Posted by | Bailout, campaign, debate, economy, issues, MS Debate, Platform, satire | , , , , | 1 Comment

   

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