Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

2012 (You Heard It Here First)

2012 will be a worse year than 2011 for many people.  It can be a great year for you if you have a little insight.  I shall try my best to provide that impact.  I know who will win the general election in 2012, but will not post it because I still want you to go vote (for me) on Election Day.

Unemployment will rise again in 2012.  Now is a good time to start planning a self-proprietorship.  I am the only candidate with a viable jobs program, but even my plan will take some time before the unemployed will reap the benefits of having a job.

Crime will increase.  This is not because we are becoming bad people, but because almost everything will be a crime.  In fact, you no longer have to be charged with a crime to be detained.  You could someday be arrested for reading this blog.  (Don’t worry, I will pardon you for reading this blog once I take office.)

Super Bowl XLVI – If you ignore my predictions throughout the year on my other blog as well as the 2011 season predictions, then you are for the most part better off.  I will stand by my prediction of a Detroit Lions – Baltimore Ravens Super Bowl.

More evidence will surface of the claims I have made against the Cinemafia and Canadian spy Justin Bieber.  The campaign teams of the candidates for president will scour through this blog for ideas to boost their campaign chances.  (And I will expose them for the copycats that they are.)

This has nothing to do with predictions, but I need a place to say this.  Gooogling “Ahmnodt” isn’t nearly as offensive as Googling “Santorum.” That, and I am less offensive than him as well.

Have a happy, safe, prosperous, (insert perky adjective here) New Year!

January 4, 2012 Posted by | commentary, editorial, election, humor, politics, satire | , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on 2012 (You Heard It Here First)

Two Down, Two to Go

Barack Obama was inaugurated two years ago today.  I will be inaugurated as the 45th President of the United States two years from today.  Hang in there, America…  I’ll be sworn in soon enough.

There has been an arrest of over 100 mafia members.  This appears to be good news until one digs deeper.  None of these alleged mobsters belong to the Cinemafia.  Looking at some of the crimes they were charged with, I see the mafia’s biggest problem is that they are trying to move in to the government’s turf.  This is the government sending a stern message:  “We already have Social Security.  We do not need a competing ponzi scheme.”

As President, I will look for better ways to perform government functions.  If the mafia can extort, blackmail, and distribute narcotics better than the U.S. government, I will let the mafia take over those vital government functions.

 

January 20, 2011 Posted by | campaign, commentary, humor, politics, satire | , , , , | 2 Comments

Clearing the Air About Hate Crimes

The British are considering doing the “Hokey-Pokey” (or Hokey-Cokey, as they call it) a hate crime.  I have two things to say about this and hate crimes.

1)If you don’t like doing the Hokey-Pokey, don’t do it.  Just because you hate doing it does not make it a crime.

2)If crimes against people you hate are eliminated are a bigger punishment, that will mean that people will only commit crimes against people they like.  That will make for losing friends and creating more enemies.  ‘

My recommendation is to make all crimes worth the same.  This will prevent me from committing crimes against my friends.

December 26, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, editorial, issues, legislation, satire | , , , , , , | Comments Off on Clearing the Air About Hate Crimes

Batman 1939-2008

via Batman Bruce Wayne is killed by his own dad in new comic book | The Sun |Showbiz|Film

Bruce “Batman” Wayne was killed by his father.  It was rumored that Bruce Wayne’s father died during Bruce’s childhood,  It turns out that Dr. Thomas Wayne left Bruce and joined the Black Glove organization.

With no Batman and no Robin, who will protect us from The Joker, The Riddler, the Penguin, and William Shattner?  This is a sad day for the good people and a good day for evil.

Gotham City police Commissioner Gordon is looking for a rich guy who can protect Gotham City from evil for no charge,  The crimefighter is encouraged to buy his or her own crime fighting tools.

November 28, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Ahmnodt on Drugs

Presidential candidate Ahmnodt Heare will be giving his plan for drugs, crime, and other social ills. The show is Sunday at 10:00PM EDT.

Listen to Ahmnodt Heare on internet talk radio

June 13, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, cinemafia, election, issues, Platform, satire, Uncategorized | , , , , , | Comments Off on Ahmnodt on Drugs

   

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