Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

2012 NFL Season – Week 12

Last Week:6-8 (.429) Best Bets: 3-0 (1.000)
Season to Date: 73-86-1 (.459) Best Bets: 17-15-1 (.533)

If you have been relying on my picks to make yourself some easy money, you are even dumber than I am.  This goes for those who bet everything I pick or everything against what I pick.  Even I don’t bet on my picks.

Tomorrow will be a great Thanksgiving.  I will be at my parents’ home (my childhood home) in Washington DC and watch the Washington Redskins beat the Dallas Cowboys with my father.  Speaking of Thanksgiving, I think there should be Cranberry Pop-Tarts available for Thanksgiving.  I think they would sell well.

Happy Thanksgiving from what remains of the Ahmnodt Heare for President campaign team!

Date & Time Favorite Spread Underdog
11/22 12:30 ET Houston -3 At Detroit
11/22 4:15 ET At Dallas -3 Washington
11/22 8:20 ET New England -7 At NY Jets
11/25 1:00 ET At Cincinnati -8 Oakland
11/25 1:00 ET Pittsburgh -1 At Cleveland
11/25 1:00 ET At Indianapolis -3 Buffalo
11/25 1:00 ET Denver -10.5 At Kansas City
11/25 1:00 ET Tennessee -3 At Jacksonville
11/25 1:00 ET At Chicago -2.5 Minnesota
11/25 1:00 ET Atlanta -1 At Tampa Bay
11/25 1:00 ET Seattle -3 At Miami
11/25 4:05 ET Baltimore -1 At San Diego
11/25 4:25 ET San Francisco -2 At New Orleans
11/25 4:25 ET At Arizona -2.5 St. Louis
11/25 8:30 ET At NY Giants -2.5 Green Bay

   Monday Night Football Point Spread

11/26 8:40 ET At Philadelphia -2 Carolina

November 21, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, humor, NFL Picks, Personal Life, satire | , , , , , , , | Comments Off on 2012 NFL Season – Week 12

Another Reason to Hate the Dallas Cowboys

I am a Washington Redskins fan.  Hating the Cowboys is as natural as walking or picking scabs off of my mother’s face.  Most of my hatred of the Cowboys has come from the many games the Redskins have played the Cowboys over the years.  The Cowboys cheat.  (If you don’t believe me, ask any New York Giants or Philadelphia Eagles fan.)

The United States has gone downhill since the Cowboys were given the moniker of “America’s Team.”  This is a totally inaccurate assessment.  The capitol of America is not in Dallas, it’s in Washington, DC.  Rather than proclaim the Redskins as America’s team, I will say that America has 30 7/8 teams.  (Dallas is a bad example of America and the Buffalo Bills play a home game in Toronto.)

The latest reason to hate the Dallas Cowboys has nothing to do with the Redskins.  For that matter, it has nothing to do with any team in the NFC.  The reason why we should hate the Cowboys now is because of their fans.  Say what you want about fans of the Eagles, New York Yankees, and Justin Bieber, but even they wouldn’t use a taser on fans of another team.

This incident occurred on September 11, 2011 during a game between the Dallas Cowboys and the New York Jets at MetLife Stadium in New Jersey.  The Cowboy fan (wearing a DeMarcus Ware jersey) tasered a Jets fan after the Jets fan heckled him for not standing for the National Anthem on September 11 at a place where one could see where the Twin Towers used to stand.)

The worst part of this is that for now on, when attending an NFL game in any stadium, fans will be subject to a TSA-style screening and having their privates felt to make sure said privates are not a taser. Thanks to “America’s Team” and their fans, going to a game will be like going to an airport (being groped by middle-aged ugly guys and dealing with excess baggage.)

September 21, 2011 Posted by | commentary, editorial, humor, satire | , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Heading to Warmth

23F has never felt so warm.  That is the expected temperature when I land in Newark tonight.  I am currently at the airport in Fairbanks,  I leave in 40 minutes to Anchorage.  From Anchorage, I fly to Seattle before flying home to Newark and arriving at 10:17PM.

I had to do some things differently this weekend (Especially with watching football).  Football starts at 9AM in Fairbanks.  The hotel I was staying at has a bar with NFL Sunday Ticket.  But the bar does not serve alcohol until Noon on Sundays.  The good news was I was able to watch the Redskins play the Cowboys.  The bad news was the other people watching the game with me were all Cowboys fans.  And although Rex Grossman had a good game in his Redskins debut, the ‘Skins lost to the Cowboys.  At Noon (about an hour after the sun rose here), I watched the Jets-Steelers game.  It looked cold with flurries at that game, but I couldn’t help but wonder what a game in December here in Fairbanks would be like.  With temperatures hovering between -30 and -25 and a “light” breeze (The winds were light, but when it’s this cold, you can feel the wind of a door being opened.)

I was going to venture out at 3:30, but it had already gotten dark.  And colder.  Alaskans are a hearty bunch.  They say they endure the winters here because Fairbanks is the place to be in the summer.  Temperatures are generally in the 70s and 80s and it doesn’t get dark for long.  The sun rises before 4AM and will not set until after 10PM throughout the month of July.

I can’t wait to be in above-zero weather and the nine hours of sunlight.  I might walk around town tomorrow wearing shorts and a t-shirt (at least until the reality that 30 degrees, while much warmer than the -25 currently here, is still cold.)

Global warming is definitely needed here.  A couple additional hours of sunlight wouldn’t hurt.

December 20, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, humor | , , , , , | 6 Comments

NFL 2009 Division Round Playoffs

I actually had a good week picking last week’s games, going 3-1.  After getting the Jets-Bengals game wrong to start the weekend, I rung up three consecutive wins.  If I keep this up, I could replace Frank Caliendo on Fox’s Pre-Game show or Elinor Clift on The McLaughlin Group.

Arizona Cardinals (+7) at New Orleans Saints

What happens when two high-powered offenses collide?  The game usually becomes a defensive struggle.  The Saints will probably win it, but it will be low scoring enough for the Cardinals to cover.  Take the Cardinals and the points.

Baltimore Ravens (+6.5) at Indianapolis Colts

The focus will be on the Colts’ high octane offense against the Ravens’ stifling defense.  The game will be decided though on the Colts’ unheralded defense stopping Ray Rice and flustering Joe Flacco often enough to force him to turn the ball and the Colts defense scoring a touchdown.  Take the Colts and give the points.

Dallas Cowboys (+3) at Minnesota Vikings

The Vikings struggled at the end of the season while the Cowboys picked up steam.  The football gods will rub more salt into Redskins’ fans wounds and make the Cowboys win in a laughter.  Take the Cowboys and the points.

New York Jets (+7) at San Diego Chargers

Both teams come into this game as hot as global warming the sun.  Mark Sanchez returns to the state where he was born and raised.  He’ll do the things that need to be done to allow the Jets to win. (Hand the ball off to Thomas Jones, throw a screen pass to Thomas Jones, etc.)  Take the Jets and the points.

Last week: 3-1  Playoffs: 3-1

January 14, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, humor | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Attention Lions, Cowboys, and Eagles fans!

If you are going to any of the games tomorrow, please bring a sign like Mr. Moran is holding.  Try to get it so people can see it on TV.

I thank you very much.  Have a Happy Thanksgiving and enjoy the games.

November 26, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, Uncategorized | , , , , | 2 Comments


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