Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Allegations Confronted

The pressure is on the Obama and Romney campaigns.  They and their supporters have stopped at nothing to try to smear my campaign. Below are the allegations followed by the truth:

  • Ahmnodt Heare has been using performance-enhancing drugs – This is utterly false.  Polls from Reuters, Fox News, NBC, CBS, NY Times, The Onion, Wall Street Journal, and others both show Obama and Romney with substantial leads over everybody else.  I am not even mentioned in these polls.  If I was using these drugs, I would at least appear as a blip in the polls.
  • Ahmnodt Heare plans to buy a majority share in Diebold – If I had that kind of money, I would have spent it on ads and election officials.  Diebold is a multi-billion dollar company who does not accept Marlboro Miles as currency.
  • Ahmnodt Heare is planning an “October Surprise” – Well, duh!  Every campaign has an October surprise or two that they will use late in October to try to cripple opponents.  I will release mine on October 30.  (If I remember.)
  • Ahmnodt Heare has been registering dead people to vote – What I have done is not registering dead people to vote.  What I have been doing is getting dead people to get themselves to register to vote.   Many of the recently deceased are already registered to vote and now need only to show up to vote.

I will address other allegations as they develop.  (Except for the embarrassing moment I had with a mannequin in the dressing room at Kohl’s. – I dismiss that as a “youthful indiscretion” as I was younger last weekend than I am now.)

August 25, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, election, humor, Obama, politics, Romney, satire, scandal | , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Allegations Confronted

A Loss for Words

The next debate is next Wednesday and the next primary is the Tuesday after that.  Neither the Republican candidates, President Obama, or Capitol Hill are doing anything to inspire me to write anything.  Vanna White’s birthday isn’t until Saturday.  I will have my daughter Patricia from Sunday until the following Saturday.

I do want to mention about voting.  There seems to have been a lot of odd things happening with caucuses and primaries thus far.  If your state hasn’t had their primary or caucus yet and you can spare some time on your primary or caucus night, then find out where you can go to watch the votes being counted or to count the votes yourself.

The New York  Times reported yesterday that 1.8 million dead people are registered to vote.  My campaigning to cemeteries and morgues has been paying off.  This will give me a much needed head start come the general election.  If my message can resonate with voters who are alive like it has with the deceased, then there’s no reason why I can’t expect to not just win, but win every state and sweep the Electoral College.

February 15, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, election, humor, Republicans, satire, voting | , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Dead People Voting

My long hard work of campaigning in cemeteries and morgues is paying off according to a Fox News article.  Americans for Limited Government President Bill Wilson seems to have issues with my campaign strategy and garnishing votes from the deceased population.  He’s jealous because as the only candidate who campaigns to the deceased and sympathizes with their issues, my message resonates with dead dead people more with Bill Wilson’s message.

The main reason why I campaign in cemeteries and morgues is because those places are not internet-ready and people there are unable to read my blog while decomposing.  I think every dead person who takes the time to cast a vote deserves to have his or her voice heard.  We cannot allow necrophobes to continue to deny people their right to vote just because they are deceased.

January 19, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, election, humor, politics, satire | , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

   

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