Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Making Sense of Good News

I stumbled upon some very good news after stumbling upon some very bad news.  First the bad news:  Florida has purged 53,000 dead voters from the voter registration rolls.  This means if I am going to win Florida, I am going to have to campaign to people who are still alive.

The good news comes from the Department of Justice.  They are now telling election clerks not to purge the deceased from the voter rolls in other states.  This is great news for the campaign as long as I am the the only candidate campaigning in cemeteries and in morgues.

My Florida strategy is going to need a ton of work.  I can’t campaign to the deceased anymore because they are being taken off of voter rolls.  Florida has the largest senior citizen population in the country.  Some of them will pass away between now and Election name and their names will be purged.

Florida is also known for Election Day fiascoes.  2000 had counts, recounts, hanging chads, swinging chads, Chad Ochocinco, voter rolls being purged, butterfly ballots, and yuppie riots.  Who knows what will happen in 2012?

It looks like the other 49 states and the District of Columbia will not be purging their voter rolls.  While Democrats in Chicago and Philadelphia might think this is good news, they haven’t been campaigning in cemeteries like my campaign has.  (Though I was roughed up by a couple of Obama supporters in Philadelphia after a graveyard campaign rally.)

I will be campaigning in New York City (to people who are still living) on Wednesday night.  The Southern California Campaign Extravaganza is expecting to get off the ground in the first week of June.


May 20, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, election, humor, issues, politics, satire, voting | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments



Over 6,000 dead people have registered to vote in Houston this year. As more people register post-mortem, the Ahmnodt Heare campaign picks up steam.

If the media ever got around to ask the deceased, they would overwhemingly say Ahmondt Heare because I have been the only candidate campaigning in cemetaries.

October 10, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, election, issues, media, Platform, Poll, satire, write-in | , , , , , | Comments Off on Wow!

My Chance to Win in Connecticut


There has been a dramatic increase of dead voters registering to vote.  I have to thank the persistance of my supporters in getting the dead vote out.  One reason why I am not doing well in polls is because the pollsters are not asking the people in the demographics I have been targeting – the deceased and the Europeans.

I will head to Europe for a few days next week and help Europeans elect me as the next leader of the free world.  Their banking crisis has been as bad as it has been here.  I will lay out my banking policy as soon as I come up with a policy.

October 9, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, economy, election, foreign policy, issues, Platform, Poll, satire, write-in | , , , , , | Comments Off on My Chance to Win in Connecticut


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