Rough Weekend
I decided this weekend that I was going to hold town-hall-style meetings. Unlike the Democratic Senators and House members, my meeting wasn’t limited to health care.
Saturday 8/8 3:00PM – Hallion Lanes
I was discussing my Affordabile Entertainment platform with bowlers. I had mentioned that movies, sporting events, and concerts have become too expensive for many Americans to enjoy. The manager of the bowling alley threw me out because he didn’t like that I was complaining about the price of entertainment. I tried to assure him that I wasn’t including bowling as a form of entertainment that was expensive. In fact; I was trying to convey that other forms of entertainment could learn from bowling alleys on how to keep entertainment affordable, but I was thrown out before saying it.
Saturday 8/8 8:00 PM – Oakville Seniors’ Center
I was discussing how my plan of allowing seniors to buy premium dog food at generic dog food prices when an elderly man started yelling that he wanted government having no part of determining what is premium and what is generic. I explained to him that premium dog food is generally dog food that has commercials. He said I had no business determining what is premium and what is generic and told me to go to Hell.
Sunday 8/9 10:00AM – Bryson Park
No speeches, but I stepped in dog poo while jogging. I went to the side and tried to scrape the poo off of my sneaker when I was hit from behind from a jogger who was texting. I suffered a broken nose and scrapes on both of my ankles.
Sunday 7:30 PM – Vernon Cemetery
I was campaigning to the deceased, promising them I would repeal the “Death Tax”. A woman overheard me and asked what I was talking about. I told her I was campaigning to the deceased because I was tired of Democrats getting all of the deceased votes. She called me a “Loony Republican” I told her that I was an Independent who has better ideas than either Democrats or Republicans. She laughed in my face, pinched my bandaged nose, and walked away. If my nose wasn’t in so much pain, i would have better appreciated how she looked in khaki pants.
I’m hoping the work week isn’t as bad as the weekend was.
About
Ahmnodt Heare is a fictional character running a real campaign. He is an Independent candidate for President of the United States. His views on solving America’s problems is different than the ideas being offered by any Republican or Democratic candidate.
In the upcoming days, he will give a daily account of his political activities, campaigns, and other behind the scene activities like no other candidate ever has.
The purpose of this blog is to showing the absurdity of Ahmnodt Heare’s platform and show that the two major parties are equally absurd (especially at the federal level.)
If you are fed up with the two-party duopoly, then feel free to write in “Ahmnodt Heare” for the office of your choosing.
On Election Day, tell your fellow Americans, “Ahmnodt Heare!”
Ahmnodt Heare for America. Ahmnodt Heare for You.
Ahmnodt Heare for President 