Why America Needs My Leadership

The debt ceiling is expected to be reached on Monday as the federal government continues to spend out of control.  Normally by now the two parties would have compromised with bad Democratic Party ideas blended with bad Republican Party ideas leaving us with a quagmire like debt ceilings.

There should be compromise.  The biggest difference between me and the professional politicians is how the compromise should take place.  Democrats want to cut military spending (or so I’m told).  Military spending can easily be cut by sending our troops home from Afghanistan, Iraq, Libya, Germany and Japan (and other countries that have American troops in countries that aren’t American.)  Republicans are against any tax increases (especially against those poor rich people.)  I agree with them too.

By not spending $1 billion per week to fight 100 Al-Qaeda and the Taliban (a military that never posed a threat to the United States), we won’t have to tax anybody any more than they already are.  And we won’t have to raise the debt ceiling assuming we can keep a reasonable reign on the rest of the spending. (That might be too big of an assumption because I’m not President dealing with a Congress with like-minded people.)

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Heat, Hacking, and Other Recent News

There’s been a lot of news recently.  Not all of it is good, but I have an attack plan.

Heat Wave – The eastern 2/3 of the United States is currently under a dangerous heat wave.  In the past, i would have said now is a good time to fight global warming.  After consulting meteorologists, people who work outdoors, and my psychic, I have determined that the best time to fight global warming is before it gets hot.   Likewise, the best time to encourage global warming is before it gets cold.

Hacking – Ruppert and James Murdoch of NewsCorp faced a parliamentary committee (It’s like a Congressional committee, except it has people with British accents).  Hacking is against my policy as is wiretapping.  Video cameras would only be used on the hottest women.  Nobody wants to see me wolf down a box of Ring Dings.

Migraines – Michele Bachmann has them.  Migraines should not be the reason why you don’t vote for her.  You shouldn’t vote for her because you are voting for me.

Debt Ceiling – I would lower it.  They say we can’t pay the national debt off.  That doesn’t mean wh shouldn’t at least try.   We need to find out why government is spending so much money and start pinching pennies.  It shouldn’t cost $3.4 trillion to run the United States.