Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Learning From Ferguson

It is unfortunate that Americans have not learned from Rodney King and Trayvon Martin.  Once again, cars were set on fire and businesses were looted.  There has to be a stop to this.  In order to stop history from repeating itself, one has to get to the root of the cause and spread Roundup weed killer on it until the root is dead.  Here is how I would handle things to make sure this doesn’t happen again:

Reading the Verdict – Have the verdict read in the morning before 10:00AM.  Nobody likes rioting when one is tired and the coffee hasn’t kicked in.

Keep it Peaceful – Most of the greatest achievements towards equality were the result of peaceful actions like Martin Luther King.  People have no sympathy for those who choose to act like they are in a Quentin Tarantino movie.

Focus Your Anger – Instead of burning everybody’s cars and looting businesses, take out your hostility on those who caused you to feel hostile.  Don’t burn down your neighborhood.  It keeps the police around too long.  Instead, hold a sit-in at a courthouse or police station.  And although the Department of Motor Vehicles usually has nothing to do with these situations, have a sit-in there too.  You will get supporters because everybody hates the DMV. (Even the people who work there.)

If you are a district attorney, please don’t give a case to a grand jury with the intent with hoping that they will not indict the defendant when the defendant has allegedly caused death or injury to a person.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving and may your Black Friday shopping be less of a riot than what Ferguson went through.




November 25, 2014 Posted by | commentary, editorial, humor, satire | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Learning From Ferguson

My Department of Motor Vehicles Plan

This plan might be a bit controversial,and may take quite a bit of money to implement, but it will make the roads safer and drive down the price of auto insurance.  My plan is similar to what teachers use in schools to make sure students know the material covered in class.  I will be instituting “pop quizzes” in driving.  This is how it will work:

  • A signal will go off in the car telling you that you are being quizzed by the Department of Motor Vehicles.  You will be judged on driving safety over a three minute span.
  • If you pass, a green light will appear on the dashboard and you may continue driving.  The insurance company will be notified and you will save a certain percentage off of your next insurance bill.
  • If you fail, a red light will appear on the dashboard.  You will have one minute to pull over in a safe area before the car automatically shuts itself off.  A police officer will be dispatched to give you a ticket and to inform you that your license is revoked and that you will have to apply for your permit and license again.

This plan will get many of the bad drivers off the road and will make the roads safer.

May 18, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, editorial, issues, satire | , , , , , | 2 Comments


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