My Week in Review (Thus Far)

Like everything else in life, a presidential campaign has its ups and downs.  When it’s up, you want to stay up, and when it’s down, you want to get up and stay up.  When one is down, one can either wait for a break or create an opportunity.  I have chosen the latter and will explain why I am currently in Massachusetts despite not planning on being here later in this entry.

Sunday – Ames Iowa:  I was looking for a place to talk a little bit about politics while watching football.  I was a bit scared at first about the bar near my hotel.  I wanted to root for the Broncos, but the bar was decked out in black-and-gold and had a lot of football stuff.  I thought at first it was a Steelers’ bar until  I saw a bartender wearing a Tim Tebow jersey.  I saw a few patrons walk in wearing black and gold shirts, but they had “IOWA” on the chest with a hawkeye underneath.  It turns out that the University of Iowa’s football team and the Pittsburgh Steelers have the same colors and that Iowa adopted the Steelers’ colors in the 1970s to look more llike a championship.

Monday – I was in an antique store in Iowa City when a young woman came up to me asking for my autograph.  I happily obliged.  She looked disappointed.  I asked her what was wrong.  She said she thought I was running for President.  I told her I was running for President and gave her my web address.  She then said she thought I was Vermin Supreme.

Tuesday – I went to cemeteries, morgues, and libraries through Des Moines campaigning to the deceased.  I didn’t hear any objections from the cemeteries or libraries, but the morgue said I was getting in the way of autopsies.

Wednesday – Flew from Des Moines to Manchester, New Hampshire (via Chicago, Boston, and St.Louis).  Too tired to do anything by the time I got to Manchester at 11:30PM

Thursday – rented a car and drove to Dixville Notch.  I normally like it when I leave an impression on people and they remember me the next time I see them.  Most of the people didn’t remember me from my visit in 2010, but unfortunately, a few did.  Another person thought I was Vermin Supreme and wanted a pony.

It occurred to me that the South Carolina primary is next Saturday and not this Saturday.  I have also learned that they don’t allow write-in candidates in primaries.  And Manchester is not too far from Boston (or specifically, Foxboro).  I drove to Foxboro this morning looking for people who have tickets to tomorrow’s game between the Patriots and the Broncos.  I couldn’t find anybody with tickets.  (I don’t want tickets, I just wanted people to hold signs that can be shown on TV.)  I’m now at Logan Airport awaiting for my flight home.

Advertisement

Campaign Schedule Set

I will be back on the campaign trail next week.  I will be going to Iowa, New Hampshire, and South Carolina.  My schedule will be such as the Republican candidates will be out of these states by the time I arrive.

Iowa (Sunday – Tuesday)  I will visit Des Moines, a few “costal” cities and some farms assuming I can get over my formidophobia (fear of scarecrows).  I will also dine (as I always do) in local “Mom-and-Pop” diners to get a pulse on Iowans.

New Hampshire (Wednesday – Friday)  The days will be spent walking through towns and talking with local business people.  I will also visit a cemetery and campaign to the deceased there.  The nights will been at ski lodges shooting the breeze with ski bunnies talking about everything from politics to the dangers Justin Bieber causes on American society.  I hope to visit the shore while I am in New Hampshire (There isn’t much coastline, but there is some).

South Carolina  (Saturday – Monday)  The trip starts with flying to Charlotte, NC.  The reason why I am flying there is because Saturday is South Carolina’s Primary day and I don’t want to run into Jon Huntsman if I don’t have to.

I will be making a pilgrimage to North Myrtle Beach on Sunday morning to check out the house Vanna White lived in as a child.  I will then try to find a meetup of Vanna White supremacists in the area.  Otherwise, it will be dining at any “Mom-and-Pop” restaurants that might be opened on a Sunday.  (Alternate plan is Waffle House)

I leave South Carolina Monday morning and hope to be home Monday afternoon.

My Beef Against Volkswagen

I wasn’t going to write about the incident I had in Des Moines last night, but the same thing occurred this morning as I was waiting for waiting for a cab in front of the airport.

As the cab was coming, a woman punched me in the arm and said, “Red one!”  It didn’t take me long to see the Volkswagen Jetta drive past the hotel.

Last night was worse than that incident.  I was walking along Ingersoll Avenue and was heading towards the Alpine Tap Room.  A couple of men were walking in the opposite direction.  As I walked between them, I suddenly got punched in both arms by both men.

“Blue one!”

They hit me again before I could say anything.

“White one!”

I was going to say something, but they were both larger and in better shape than I am.  The Alpine Tap Room was in my sight so I scurried towards it before anybody could see it.  I was just about to enter the bar when I got punched in the chest.

“Black one.”

This is my message to Volkswagen:  Quit running those commercials!  First off, it’s not “Punch Dub,” it’s “Punch Bug.”  One is supposed to be allowed to punch when a Volkswagen Beetle is in sight.   Second, the ad promotes violence.  It gives the impression that it is OK to punch a stranger just because a specific car is around.  Not only do the commercials promote violence, but it encourages unprovoked attacks of innocent bystanders.

Volkswagen can take this opportunity to promote peace in the world.  Replace “Punch Dub” with “Hug Dub.”  While some people might not like being hugged by total strangers, it is less painful and promotes peace.

2008 Television Mention Discovered

I did not know that my 2008 campaign was mentioned on television until today.  I found out about it while talking to a trucker at the Denny’s counter in Des Moines.  He said it was big news that day, but faded as soon as it was shone in the spotlight.  There was no mention of it in the Des Moines radio ads or in the newspapers. I was told everybody talked about the news story at bars, bowling alleys, and at midweek church services that night, but nothing had been mentioned since.

I found the news story.  It turned out that they asked Maxim model Diana Falzone about my campaign.  Copyright laws prohibit me from posting the video on my site, but I can post the link and you can check out the news story for yourself.