Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Shaking Off the Cobwebs

I haven’t given a campaign speech in a few months.  The best thing to prepare for something is to practice what you want to do until it is done correctly.

It was a beautiful day for a trip to the park.  I went to an area where nobody was around and started campaigning to a squirrel.  My confidence became shaken when the squirrel ran off and ran into traffic.  Fortunately, the squirrel was able to cross the street unscathed.  On the southern section of the park was a statue of a guy who looked like Cosmo Kramer,  (It was supposed to be a Civil War hero, but he looked more like Michael Richards than someone who led an army.)  The statue stayed for my entire speech.

I went to a local bar and watched the news whilst nursing a root beer.  A young patron in his early 20’s asked me how I felt about the designated hitter rule.  I said I was against it and would abolish it if I was elected President.  He also hates the DH rule, but wanted to ask me why I was against it.  My reason goes back to my days in Little League.  I was a pitcher and wanted to bat.  The coach said that pitchers weren’t allowed to hit in the league and that the other team’s pitcher wasn’t allowed to bat.  Everybody else who played in the field was allowed to hit, why not me?  Six runs later, my pitching was done for the day.  Not being allowed  to bat affected my pitching to the point that I did not want to pitch any more..  I didn’t get to play in the field too often because all of the other positions were filled.

He was so impressed with my story that he invited me over to his house on Sunday to watch football with him and his father.  His father likes the DH, but he thinks that I made a strong argument to get rid of it.  He wants to join my campaign though he does not the President should not have the power whether or not there should be a designated hitter in baseball.  He makes a good point, but Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig irks me and it seems like he is trying to shove the DH down the throats of baseballs everywhere.  This has to stop somehow, even if it means occasionally doing more than I should.


October 18, 2013 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, humor, satire | , , , , , | Comments Off on Shaking Off the Cobwebs


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