Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Paul Ryan

In case you missed it, Mitt Romney named Majority Whip Paul Ryan to be his running mate.  This is good news for my campaign.  Picking Paul Ryan all but assures that Mitt Romney will nor be elected President.  Don’t get me wrong, Congressman Ryan has all that it takes to be Vice-President.  He can vote the way he’s supposed to vote to break ties in the Senate.  He can go to ribbon-cutting ceremonies and give speeches.  And he can brew coffee.  (Since he would be Romney’s Vice-President, he wouldn’t have to brew coffee often because Romney doesn’t drink coffee.)

There are three reasons why Paul Ryan is a bad choice for Vice-President.  The first is because he it touted as a”Budget Guru”. but the budget he proposed in 2010 promised ten more years of Bush-sized deficits.  One reason why Obama won in 2008 was because he promised we would no longer have Bush-sized deficits.  (He didn’t tell us that his deficits would be much larger.)

The second is because he is hardly what one would call “assassination insurance”.  People want their president around for four years.  The reason why no serious attempt has been put on any president in recent years is because people were too scared of what would happen if the Vice-President became President.  This is why Dan Quayle, Al Gore, Dick Cheney, and Joe Biden have been picked as Vice-President.  As bad as things were with George H.W. Bush, Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and Barack Obama have been, it would have been worse if either of their vice-presidents were to take over.  Joe Biden is why Barack Obama is still alive and is why Hillary Clinton will never be a vice-president.

The third reason is because Paul Ryan is not Albee Thayer.  Albee Thayer is one of the best debaters in the world and would easily beat Ryan and Biden in a Vice-Presidential debate.

I wish the Romney/Ryan ticket luck, but it won’t do much good.  One foot is already in the grave and the other is on a banana peel on a wet marble floor.

August 11, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Albee, commentary, editorial, election, humor, Joe Biden, Obama, Paul Ryan, politics, Romney, satire | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

The Vice-Presidential Candidate

NOTE: This is the second of a series of entries from the “Meeting of Independent Presidential Candidates” that took place in the Caribbean from November 14-20.  To see the entire series (once completed), click on the “Meeting of Independent Presidential Presidents” tag and the entire list should pop up.

There are twelve candidates for President who are partaking in the Meeting of Independent Presidential Candidates.  All of the candidates have interesting platforms.  If time permits, I will discuss all of them.

Tonight I want to mention the person hoping to be the vice-presidential candidate.  her name is Sondra Demarest.  She says she is willing to be President if the situation calls for it (assassination, impeachment, resigns to chase around hotties, etc.), but would rather work behind the scenes and have the President and his (or her) visibility take the hit for any of her policies that might not work.

Sondra isn’t a hottie, but she isn’t butt-ugly either.  It probably wouldn’t take more than one or two drinks before I would consider seducing her.

November 14, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, humor, Meeting of Independent Presidential Candidates, politics, satire | , , | 2 Comments

   

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