Do Not Forget!
Today is Election Day. It is important that you vote. New Jersey and Virginia will vote for a governor. New York City will vote for a mayor. Upstate New York will vote for an interim congressperson.
You should vote today even if the most important office up for grabs in your community is “dog catcher.” Local elections are important because these are the people who write the pesky little laws that makes living in your town a sucky experience.
After you perform your patriotic duty by voting, you can experience what it is like to be a politician treating his or her constituents by attending an “Orgies for Abstinence” event taking place throughout the country. If you can’t find one, then feel free to host one among friends. Remember that Orgies for Abstinence is like War for Peace – only more fun!
Now get out and vote!
About
Ahmnodt Heare is a fictional character running a real campaign. He is an Independent candidate for President of the United States. His views on solving America’s problems is different than the ideas being offered by any Republican or Democratic candidate.
In the upcoming days, he will give a daily account of his political activities, campaigns, and other behind the scene activities like no other candidate ever has.
The purpose of this blog is to showing the absurdity of Ahmnodt Heare’s platform and show that the two major parties are equally absurd (especially at the federal level.)
If you are fed up with the two-party duopoly, then feel free to write in “Ahmnodt Heare” for the office of your choosing.
On Election Day, tell your fellow Americans, “Ahmnodt Heare!”
Ahmnodt Heare for America. Ahmnodt Heare for You.
Ahmnodt Heare for President 
Save Those News Stories!
Let us not forget that the economic problems came to roost almost two years ago and that there is still no real relief in sight. Remember the hardships you are currently facing when you go out to vote. Things tend to get better in October only to fall apart again as soon as everybody gets re-elected.
If there is a bright side to being an Independent, it’s that I can sleep at night knowing that none of the people I voted for caused the debacle that is modern politics. I vote for Independents except for Dog Catcher, when I vote for Democrats because they treat dogs more humanely.
The country’s debt, the unemployment, and the two wars we are fighting have all been issues for a while (Since we had a Republican President and Congress). There are two “Independents” in the Senate, but they always caucus with the Democrats and play Bingo with the Republicans. There are no independents in the House. The last “Independent” in the House is now one of the two “Independents” mentioned earlier.
My late Grandma Oudda had a saying: “If you mix red and blue, you may get something reddish or blueish, or if mixed properly, purple. But you will never get white.”
What she was trying to say was that if you take the bad ideas from one party and combine them with the bad ideas from another party (as is often done in the name of “compromise”), then you will have a batch of bad ideas. I am an Independent because I have good ideas (see the “ISSUES” tab on top of this page”). Neither Democrats nor Republicans are overly receptive to my ideas, but both parties like to steal my campaign strategies and use them themselves. It didn’t work so well for John McCain in the Presidential race in 2008.
Remember today and the shackles you are in when you go to vote. Remember that Independents had nothing to do with the pain many Americans are feeling. Remember I like Vanilla ice cream with hot fudge and caramel. And remember that all the red and blue in the world will not get you white.
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May 20, 2010 Posted by Ahmnodt Heare | Ahmnodt, commentary, Democrats, economy, editorial, humor, issues, politics, Republicans, satire | Dog Catcher, hardships, independents, primary colors, voting | Comments Off on Save Those News Stories!