Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Shopping Woes

Unlike the other presidential candidates, I have been in a supermarket in my lifetime.  I have been doing my own shopping so I know the horrors of sticker shock first hand.   I have developed carpal tunnel syndrome from clipping so many coupons in an attempt to get everything I want to get in the supermarket.

The excuses for the constant increases in coffee prices are as lame as the excuses for the constant increases in gas prices.  Too much rain in Columbia, not enough rain in Kenya, too cold in Greenland.  I have heard all of the excuses for spikes in coffee prices and frankly, I am sick of them.

While there are a ton of excuses for the spikes in coffee prices, I haven’t heard any for the spikes in the prices for pastas.  We don’t get our pasta from Columbia or Kenya, so weather isn’t a factor.  it has long since been discovered that spaghetti doesn’t grow on trees.  The price of pasta has doubled over the last four years and I demand to know why!  It seems the stuff I buy the most of has risen more than stuff I avoid like the Plague.

I don’t have all of the answers to the food prices, but I do have one answer that will lower prices for some foods.  We need to stop paying farmers not to grow food.  The more food, the cheaper.  We also have to quit exporting food only to import some of the same food at a higher price.

You can vote for a candidate who can’t tell the difference between a shopping cart and a dolly or you can vote for someone who has walked in your shoes.  I have walked in your shoes and will return them by the end of the week.

March 14, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, economy, editorial, humor, satire | , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Living in a Development

My neighbors are good people.  I like them.  It’s the people managing the property where my condo is that drive me nuts.  I had to get a new water heater because the old one was leaking bad and had holes that had become major in size.  No problem in that I know I have to get it fixed and soon.

The problem arose when I tried to get back to my condo only to find the parking lot and driveways all getting sealant and were closed off until Monday.  The nearest place to park the car was at the bottom of the hill.  I parked the car and walked up the hill.  I had to get my dolly so I can bring the water heater up the hill.

I couldn’t use the street.  I had to go through developments, up stairs, and around the outside perimeter of the complex.   There was no path to my area.  I had to go through woods.

The high temperature for the day was 92°F.  It was during this time that I was lugging the water heater on the dolly.  One would have thought that the woods would have been full of shade, but the sun still managed to find a way to beat down on me.

The wooded area tried to get the best of me, but I wouldn’t allow their “bobby traps of twigs covering a hole” trick fool me more than once or twice.  Although I didn’t see any today, I now know not to eat the yellow snow in the woods.

I just got home now.  As soon as I hook up the water heater, I am going to take a cold shower and go to bed.

May 1, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt | , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Writing in “Ahmnodt Heare”

Many voting districts will only allow write-in votes if the candidate’s name is spelled correctly. The name “Ahmnodt” is not a common name and is often misspelled. While people would mean well by writing in “Amdnot Here”, “Ahmnot Hear”, or “I’m not Here”, these votes may not count. Here is a way to remember how to spell my name:

A Horny Man Needs Only Dolly’s Taters.

Horny Elephants Are Really Erotic

I hope this helps people when writing in my name.

March 29, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, election | , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

   

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