2012 NFL Season – Week 9

Last Week: 7-7 (.500) Best Bets: 2-1 (.667)
Season to Date: 51-66-1 (.436) Best Bets: 12-11-1 (.521)

This should be interesting. I didn’t get to follow any football news this week. I don’t even know what happened with Thursday’s game, so I am picking it now. No Dolphins were hurt in the making of these picks though a few might get hurt in Indianapolis.

Date & Time	Favorite	Spread	Underdog
11/1 8:25 ET	At San Diego	-7	Kansas City

11/4 1:00 ET	Denver	-3.5	At Cincinnati
11/4 1:00 ET	At Green Bay	-10	Arizona
11/4 1:00 ET	Miami	-2	At Indianapolis
11/4 1:00 ET	Baltimore	-3.5	At Cleveland
11/4 1:00 ET	At Houston	-10	Buffalo
11/4 1:00 ET	At Washington	-3	Carolina
11/4 1:00 ET	Detroit	-5.5	At Jacksonville
11/4 1:00 ET	Chicago	-3.5	At Tennessee
11/4 4:05 ET	At Seattle	-4	Minnesota
11/4 4:05 ET	At Oakland	-1.5	Tampa Bay
11/4 4:25 ET	At NY Giants	-3	Pittsburgh
11/4 8:30 ET	At Atlanta	-3.5	Dallas

   Monday Night Football Point Spread

11/5 8:40 ET	At New Orleans	-3	Philadelphia

Byes: New England, NY Jets, San Francisco, St. Louis

Projected winners against the point spread in Bold – Best bets in Italics

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Some Updates

There are a few things I have to take care of that I have neglected.  Although I moved the campaign headquarters from Michigan to New York, there were things I had to take care of.

• I tried to get Governor Jennifer Granholm to endorse me for 2012.  Unfortunately she is a Democratic Party hack and a Canadian.
• There are no signs of Humpback Dolphins in Lake Michigan.  No charges have been filed against those responsible for killing off the dolphins.
• Peasant Tim is currently the Michigan campaign manager.  I haven’t heard from him lately, but he is still the man.
• The Hell’s Angels meeting that I was supposed to have in Stockholm did not materialize.  They found me and told me the meeting is now tomorrow in New York City and it would be in my best interest not to miss it.

I hope this is everything I had left behind.  The campaign will be moving forward.

New York Campaign

I haven’t been on the campaign trail too much since Election Day, but a couple of events are happening near each other this weekend.  I decided to head to upstate New York and do some campaigning.

Today:   I will be at SUNY – New Paltz giving a speech on my education policy.  I think the professors will be as interested as the students.

Tomorrow:  “Save the Dolphins” rally in Poughkeepsie.  I don’t know how I am going to break it to the people who invited to the rally.  Dolphins do not go that high up the Hudson River.  I will sugest having future meetings in Miami or somewhere near where the dolphins are.

Saturday:  I will be giving a speech on global warming to the Polar Bear Club in Kingston, NY.  They will like my plan to encourage global warming in the winter.

Sunday:  Newburgh, NY will be the final spot of the campaign. I don’t know what is happening there, but I will think of a crisis that will make people think of Newburgh.

I hope to see you out on the campaign trail!

NFL Playoff Predictions

Before I make my predictions, I would like to make a brief comment about the playoff seedings.  I think that if the NFL is going to allow a division winner to make a playoffs no matter how bad the team is, then the least they can do is seed all teams by their records.  Indianapolis and Atlanta should not be punished with a low seed just because they are in a same division as a great team that won their respective divisions.  I will comment more after I make my predictions.

NFC Wild Card Games:

Atlanta at Arizona:  This game is more interesting than it should be because the worse team is at home.  The worse team was rewarded for playing in a weak division.  The Falcons were punished for playing Carolina, Tampa Bay, and New Orleans twice and finishing with an overall 11-5 record.  Falcons win this game 38-13.

Philadelphia at Minnesota:  The Vikings lose this game because their biggest home field advantage is the brutally cold Minnesota air.  But since the game is indoors, the advantage is gone.  Eagles win a tough one 20-17.

AFC Wild Card Games:

Baltimore at Miami:  Everybody is afraid of the Miami Dolphins.  I think it is because people confuse Head Coach Tony Sparano with mobster Tony Soprano.  Dolphins win a close one, 17-13.

Indianapolis at San Diego.  This is the game Chargers fans see the coaching capabilities of Norv Turner.  Colts win 41-17.

MY PLAYOFF PLAN

My playoff plan is different than any any plan currently being used.  I would allow every team with a winning record to make the playoffs.  Since the number of teams with winning records varies from year to year, so would the number of teams making the playoffs.  My plan would have teams like the Bears, Patriots, and Cowboys in the playoffs this year while the Chargers and the Cardinals would stay home.  Winning the division wouldn’t mean anything, but the division format would stay for scheduling reasons.

With the 2008 standings, 7 AFC and 8 NFC teams would make the playoffs.  in the AFC, only Tennessee would get a bye.  The NFC would not have anybody with a bye.  Below would be my matchups for the first round:

AFC

1)Tennessee – Bye

2)Pittsburgh – vs. 7) NY Jets

3)Indianapolis – vs. 6)New England

4)Baltimore (They would have won the tie breaker) vs. 5)Miami

The lower number seeds are home.  The Titans would play the highest number seed in the second round and the two other winners would play at the team with the lower seed number.

New Headquarters

The new headquarters is in New York City, around the corner from The Disney Store.

I have decided to move my headquarters from Michigan to New York City.  Although I still feel the actions by the McCain and Obama campaigns conclude that neither party cares about Michigan, I have to move to a more centralized location.

The new headquarters will be in midtown Manhattan near the family-friendly section of Times Square.  If you happen to be in the area, bring the family by.

I will be in Michigan from time to time as there are important programs that I must finish like the Jennifer Granholm conversion program.  I think that with a little bit of help, she will be an Ahmnodt Heare supporter.  There is also the humpback dolphin situation that has to be resolved.

I will leave Michigan campaign activities in good hands once the programs are finished.  If the hands aren’t good, I will supply hand cream and gloves.

It’s Worse than I Thought!

I went to Lake Michigan yesterday by the oil spill that ruined the habitat of the humpback dolphin population.  Much to my horror, there were no humpback dolphins anywhere. 

Save the Humpback Dolphins!

As mentioned in the radio ad, I promised Tim that I would look into the oil spill in Lake Michigan that caused considerable damage to the humpback dolphin population.  I will also travel to Wisconsin to check on the children poisoned by contaminated humpback dolphin meat served in school cafeterias.  I am heading there today by car and will be in Michigan tomorrow afternoon and Wisconsin on Friday.

I will take the oil Tim has cleaned up since my last visit as well as any uncontaminated Humpback Dolphin meat to Washington.  I will discuss the matter at an impromptu meetings with  congresspeople who  like  Humpback Dolphin meat.    It is a delicacy in Michigan, Wisconsin, and Mongolia.

Next week, I will travel to Arizona and look into the situation concerning the crying hyenas.