Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Betty Poundcake 1958-2011

This is a sad day.  My longtime political consultant Betty Poundcake died this morning from a cause yet to be determined.  She was 53 years old.

Betty was a medium who can talk to the deceased.  She was kind enough to teach me how to talk to the dead for my campaign in 2008.  More importantly, she taught me how to have them reply.  The highlight was getting an endorsement from Elvis Presley.

We first met in 2008 when she accidently walked into a Vanna White Supremacist meeting I attended in Greensboro, NC.  She sat in the back through the meeting.  She said that she and her brother Bobby had a similar fascination with someone named Kitty Carlisle.  She wasn’t a game show host, but she was a frequent celebrity guest in game shows.

Betty invited a couple of us members to her apartment the following night.  She hosted a seance and we communicated with the ghost of Kitty Carlisle.  I was a bit spooked and somewhat skeptical at first.  I asked her to try to contact my college friend who was killed in a drunk-driving accident the weekend before graduating with me from college.

Betty said that he was laughing about the mishap I had in Orlando.  (Few people knew about that mishap and for the sake of my dignity, I won’t talk about it now.)  He also mentioned the prank we pulled on the Dean of Economics.  (We had set up his office computer’s home page to a fake website that showed the Dow crashed 1000 points because the companies he had raved about all tanked.)

I learned from Betty how to talk to the dead.  It has helped rally a much neglected demographic as well as learn valuable campaign advice from Gerald Ford.

I will be heading to North Carolina for the funeral.  Betty will be missed.

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December 12, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, humor, Vanna White, voting | , , , | 2 Comments

Saving the Hamptons (My Newest Endevour)

The Dow lost 777 points and over $1 trillion yesterday.  Many of those dollars came from people who call the Hamptons home and by people who party there on the weekends.  The latest Wall Street fall has affected the entire community.

Six year old Clarissa Hartinger has not had a violin lesson in almost two weeks.  The Bentley’s can only stay in Paris for two weeks instead of the month they normally stay.  And the Carlington’s will have to wait to get their seventh bathroom installed.  I am starting a can collection drive to help these people in crisis.

If you want to start a can collecting campaign in your area, you can reach me from the Contact tab on this website.  Together, we can save the Hamptons.

September 30, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Bailout, change, economy, election, issues, satire, Wall Street | , , , | 1 Comment

   

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