Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

The Real Issues

American politicians are notorious for keeping voters engaged with issues that have nothing to do with the future of American lives.  They want to keep you preoccupied with non-issues like gay marriage and the “war” on women, but not that both parties have raised the debt and the war on people in the Middle East.  Ask your politician why he are she is avoiding these vital issues:

  • Health Care – Romney mandated health care insurance for Massachusetts.  Obama has mandated it for the other 49 states, the District of Columbia, and the U.S. Territories.  Nobody is addressing why it costs $20 for ONE Tylenol in a hospital when you can get 100 for under $10 in many supermarkets and department stores.  I think America would be better served with everybody having apple trees and keeping the doctor away (and the expense of going to the doctor.)
  • Jobs – Romney created a bunch of minimum-wage jobs for Staples.  Obama created jobs for green companies that would eventually go bankrupt and lay everybody off.  My plan would create jobs by giving bailout to companies who don’t need it so they can hire more people and pay the workers they already have more money.  It would also bail out companies that no longer exist by bring back all of those laid off workers back to their jobs.
  • Entertainment –  I am the only candidate who understands that Americans love to be entertained and that the price of entertainment is spiraling out of control.  No other candidate has addressed the cost of entertainment because they don’t care.

You can elect somebody like Obama, Romney, or anyone else who tells you what the issues are or you can elect someone (Ahmnodt Heare) who you tell what the issues are.  The choice is yours.

May 26, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, election, entertainment, health care, humor, issues, Obama, satire, War | , , , , , , | 1 Comment

One More Debate

If there is anything worse than the lack of quality Republican and Democratic Presidential candidates, it’s the lack of quality in Presidential debate moderators.  Tomorrow is another chance to be proven wrong.  There will be a debate on CNN tomorrow night at 8:00PM Eastern.  Once again, I will be taking my ever-sharpened debating skills to Twitter.  I don’t know why candidates have so many problems keeping their answers under one minute when I can keep my answers under 140 characters with hashtags added for effect.

I do not know who will be asking the questions on CNN, but here is a guideline they can use to look competent:

  • Know the issues that affect the voters – People don’t want to know how many wives Newt Gingrich has had or how much money Ahmnodt Heare pays for a lap dance.  They want the important issues:  Jobs, the economy, and affordable entertainment.
  • Realize that Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich are not the only candidates on the stage.  Rick Santorum and Ron Paul are there too.  I doubt they are taking time out of their busy schedules to go watch Mitt and Newt debate.
  • Know something about the candidates on stage and use questions accordingly.  If you’re going to ask the business man questions about economics, wouldn’t it make sense to ask the OB/GYN questions about health care?  If I was debating, I would expect this former movie theater manager to be included in discussions about affordable entertainment.

If tomorrow night’s debate becomes yet another “Mitt and Newt Show” with a bunch of subjects that have nothing to do with running a country, I will take steps in getting people to boycott Time-Warner (CNN’s parent company).  This includes Time, Warner Brothers (whom I’m already boycotting – damned Cinemafiosos), and Time-Warner Cable.

I anticipate that CNN will remember what professional journalism is all about tomorrow night when they host the debate.  And that they will remember to include Buddy Roemer, Vermin Supreme, and Ahmnodt Heare in future debates so that Americans will have more choices (including a few that don’t suck.)

January 25, 2012 Posted by | commentary, debate, editorial, humor, issues, media, politics, satire | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on One More Debate

I Feel Confident

I feel confident that I can win tonight’s debate as long as the moderators stick to the issues.  If they stray away from the issues and go to fringe issues like the economy and jobs, it can be difficult.

September 7, 2011 Posted by | humor, Reagan Library Debate | , | Comments Off on I Feel Confident

Latest Poll Results

Last week I had a poll asking three questions.  The first question asked how people found my website.  The second issue dealt with issues affecting you.  The final question asked the party affiliation of the presidential candidate you plan on voting for in 2012.

Half of the people polled found my website in a way not mentioned in the poll,  For some reason, I do not have access to the “other” written in responses.  It was a three-way tie for second place between Telepathy, Link, and Search Engine.  Nobody found this site by word-of-mouth.  I encourage to yell your friends who do not have internet and computers to check out this blog.

The second question showed how different people have different things affecting their lives.  As many people were affected by Charlie Sheen as the economy and the budget.  More people cared than did people who cared about war or the Cinemafia.  (Though I think more people will care about the Cinemafia in due time.)

I am encouraged by the results of the last poll.  Nobody plans to vote for a Republican and only one person plans to vote for a Democrat (but only if I am the Democrat.)  People will vote for either an Independent or a third-party candidate.  I am guessing the third party is the Oudda-Heare Party.

I will be back on the campaign trail this weekend.  Campaign details will be announced on my new website tomorrow.

March 22, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Democrats, humor, issues, Poll, Republicans, satire | , , , | 5 Comments

Special Radio Show – “State of America”

I will be doing a very special show tonight at 7PM Eastern on the state of America.  I will also take phone calls from listeners.  The number if you wish to call is (347) 945-7487.  Tell all of your friends and half of your enemies.  Together we can try to save America!

June 2, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, blogtalk radio, campaign, humor, Obama | , , , , | Comments Off on Special Radio Show – “State of America”

Drug Policy

I haven’t fully explain my policy on illicit drugs.  It was based on the flaw I found on the “Just Say No” policy founded by Nancy Reagan.  The flaw is that they can’t say “No.”

My policy is different because it takes into consideration that people are curious and people want to feel better during tough economic times.  This is why I have stuck with my “Just say, ‘O.K. but just this once'” policy.  Not only does it allow people to fill their curiosity, but it also allows an out before they get addicted.

I don’t know why the “War on Drugs” issue wasn’t talked about more.  Instead of putting drug users into overcrowded prisons, I would make them work for the farms who have lost labor because the help moved back to Mexico.

February 20, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, economy, issues, satire | , , , , , | 9 Comments

Another Reason Why Movies Are Expensive

There were 5 commercials for movies during the Super Bowl.  This amounts to $15 million in advertising for 2 1/2 minutes of ads.  Most of these movies won’t be in theaters for a few months.  I will forget about these movies by the time they are released unless they have more ads, which will cost more money.  If they waited until just before the release date, they could have saved $3 million per movie.

Maybe it’s not so much the Cinemafia is evil as it is stupid.  They pay Tom Cruise $31 million for every movie he appears in.  I would do 20 movies for $31 million.  The problem with the economy (aside from the Cinemafia) is that the only spending cuts companies are making are in payroll.  They are either cutting hours, pay rates, or jobs.  They still buy company t-shirts, coffee mugs and other crap that most employees don’t really care for.  They know that knick-knacks cost less than money.  As president, I would put a ban on company knick-knacks and force them to either pay more or hire more.

February 1, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, cinemafia, commentary, economy, editorial, issues, Platform, satire | , , , , , | 1 Comment

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