Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Canada’s New Plan of Attack

For the last fifty years, Canada’s mode of attack has been to have their spies infiltrate the Great American Entertainment Industry and ruin our last remaining export.  Some of their more infamous spies include William Shatner, Celine Dion, Anne Murray, and Justin Bieber.  The Canadian government has reached a new low with their newest tactic.  It is a complicated plan that hurts not only American citizens, but also their own.

First, Canada drives their prices so high that things become hard to afford in Canada.  Gas is around $5.00/gallon in British Columbia while it’s about $3.80 in Washington State.  Here is a cost-of-living comparison between Vancouver, BC and Seattle, WA.  Canadians know things are less expensive in the United States so they hit American stores en mass and hoard essentials like milk, eggs, and cigarettes before Americans can get to them.

There are two ways to handle this:  Raise the prices of things in Americs so it’s as bad here as in Canada.  This is a bad idea unless you are rich and have a ton of disposable income.  The other plan is to sabotage the Canadian Dollar to the point that it would be virtually worthless in the United States.  That’s why I just came up with a third idea.  He;p the Canadian citizens petition their government.  This will not only make things more affordable for Canadians to shop in Canada, but it will finally put an end to their government’s tampering with American entertainment.

I should mention that no other presidential candidate has even mentioned this as of this posting.  84 shopping days until Election Day.

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August 14, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Canada, commentary, economy, foreign policy, humor, issues, satire | , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

An Easter Story

This is not your typical Easter story.  It has nothing to do with bunnies, eggs, chocolate, bonnets, or the resurrection of Jesus.  And although it does involve a family outing, it wasn’t my family with the outing.

I went to the Chinese restaurant for take-out to bring home.  Circumstances prevented me from traveling to see family this year,  so dinner was going to be a quiet day alone.  I couldn’t even do that right.  I ran into my neighbors, who were there for their family Easter Dinner.  They invited me to join them.  I did under the pretense that it was just my neighbors and their two children.  It was his parents, her parents, his mother’s brother, the wife’s brother and sister, their spouses and children.

His family and her family do not get along.  The reason why they had dinner at the Chinese restaurant to begin with was because their families couldn’t agree on who was going to host dinner.  The only restaurants in town open on Easter were the Chinese restaurant and the diner and the diner parking lot was full.

Like any other family disaster, the topic during dinner was politics.  I really didn’t want to do anything near campaigning because it was a holiday and I just wanted some peace of mind after the week I had with the tests and April Fool’s Day and all the other fiascoes I had to deal with.  The husband’s family are Obama supporters, the wife’s family are Romney supporters, and the nosy people dining at the table behind me were Santorum supporters.

It was only a matter of time before I had enough of the bickering and touted why I would be a better candidate than any of those people.  They ridiculed everything I said though all three of their candidates would equate to yet another George W. Bush term (The second straight term served by someone other than George W. Bush.  We were all escorted out by police following the food fight and loud vulgar language.

This weekend and this Easter were disappointing.  I am looking forward to getting back to the grind tomorrow.  Winging it just isn’t working.

 

April 8, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, humor, Obama, Personal Life, politics, satire | , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Breakfast Pot Pie

I think it is about time there is a pot pie for breakfast.  It is too early for turkey or chicken, but the right time for breakfast sausage.

Ingredients:

1 pie crust

8 – 10 strips of cooked bacon

6  eggs

2 cups sausage gravy

In a 9″ x 2″ round pie plate, place the bottom layer of pie crust.  Add a layer of sausage gravy.  In a seperate frying pan, scramble the six eggs and cook until slightly loose.  Place eggs in the pie plate.  Layer the bacon on top of the eggs.  Pour the rest of the sausage gravy on the sausage.  Place the top pie crust layer on top.

Bake at 350° for 30 minutes until crust is brown.  Allow five minutes for cooling.  Serves 6-8.

Other recipes:

Sausage Parfait

Strawberry Stroganoff

Limburger Cheesecake

January 17, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, satire, Uncategorized | , , , , , | 8 Comments

Fried Rabbit

I am heading home for the weekend where I will be celebrating Easter.  I will be enjoying fried rabbit – a Heare tradition that dates back to 1992.  That was the year we dyed Easter eggs that went bad.  So we blamed the Easter Bunny for bringing us bad eggs and got our revenge by frying him up.

Have a Happy Easter!  From all of us at the Ahmnodt Heare for President campaign!

March 22, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt | , , , , | Comments Off on Fried Rabbit

   

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