Election Integrity

It seems that every time I turn on the news, there is some kind of voter hijinx caused by either the Democratic or Republican parties.  Whether it involves peculiarities in registration or it involves purging legitimate voters from the voter lists, both Democrats and Republicans are involved in the shenanigans.

If they think that the office of the President of the United States is a public service position (as I do), then there is no need to cheat.  Nobody ever cheated to be dog catcher or meter maid.  I believe in serving the public.  I don’t have to raise millions of dollars to explain this.

If Senators McCain and Obama are as honorable as they claim to be, then their campaigning and their parties should quit cheating and telling half-truths on the campaign trail.  The truth is that they are both afraid of my campaign and want me to go away.

A vote for Ahmnodt Heare sends many messages:

1. You don’t want the cheating and the less than ethical campaigns both candidates are running.
2. You don’t just want change, you want change for the better.  You want a president whose mother will not allow him to run for office like a snake-oil salesman.
3. You want a candidate whose campaign is more than saying the other candidate is bad.  You want someone who runs on his or her record.
4. You do not want a candidate who will raise spending by 5% instead of 10% bragging that he or she “cut spending”.  Leave the satire to us professionals.

If you want to be lied to, misrespected, or your intelligence insulted, then feel free to vote for either Senator Obama or Senator McCain.  If you want change for the better and to be respected, then tell your fellow Americans “Ahmnodt Heare” on Election Day.

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Ahmnodt Heare Names Self as Vice-Presidential Candidate

Independent Write-In candidate for President Ahmnodt Heare has named himself as his Vice Presidential candidate for president after former vice-presidential candidate E.D. Yot was caught taking more than one piece of candy from a receptionist’s desk in Altoona, PA.  Yot was visiting a dentist for root canal work and noticed the candy dish shortly after paying his dental bill. 

While taking more than one piece of candy is not necessarily illegal, it is against Ahmnodt Heare’s code of ethics that anyone who is involved in the Heare campaign must follow.  Other codes of conduct include not licking an old lady’s feet without asking her and replacing toilet paper rolls if one finishes a roll of bathroom tissue.