Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Can It Get Any Worse?

I picked a bad week to have a bunch of things go wrong.  I was supposed to attend a rally at  a veteran’s hall in Washington Township, New Jersey.  Nobody told me that there are at least two Washington Townships in New Jersey.  This is worse than the Canadian Football League having two teams called the Rough Riders.  (Saskatchewan Rough Riders and Ottawa Rough Riders [now Renegades].)

The following also happened this weekend:

  • I ran out of gas trying to get from the wrong Washington Township to the correct Washington Township.  I ended up missing my own rally.  “I’m Not Here at an Ahmnodt Heare Rally” might as well been th headline in the newspapers.
  • My computer crashed – I am currently using my campaign manager’s old laptop (which is on its last legs.)  It is a Windows XP laptop and the Service Pack 2 was never updated or installed.  I ordered a custom-built laptop which I should get later this week.
  • The water pipe in my apartment is leaking.  This is bad news considering that my floor is concrete based and has to be taken out to get to the pipes.  My bedroom looks like an astroturf football after a soaking rain.
  • The Washington Redskins lost to the New York Giants 27-23 after taking a 23-20 lead with less than two minutes to go in the game.  This especially hurts considering I now live in New Jersey about an hour from the stadium.
  • No “Family Guy” tonight.   It has been preempted by the NLCS between the St. Louis Cardinals and the San Francisco Giants.

Before you answer the question, please note that it was a rhetorical question.  I am looking forward to debating tomorrow night (even if it’s the same way I had to debate the first two times and Albee Thayer had to debate in the Vice President Debate.  You are invited to join me even if the other candidates don’t want you to join them.


October 21, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Albee, campaign, debate, humor, politics, satire | , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Can It Get Any Worse?

Returning a Favor

My campaign manager has done a good job considering he doesn’t get paid.  He doesn’t ask for much.  I figured now would be a good time to return a favor for him.

He has entered a flavor in Frito-Lay’s “Do Us a Flavor” contest which contestants try to make the next flavor of Lay’s Potato Chips.  I don’t normally do things for him.  He wanted me to vote for the next “Family Guy” character.  His idea was so stupid that as soon as I said “No,” I forgot what his character was.

I think he is on to something.  Chicken Cacciatore as a potato chip sounds better than the “Cookies and Cream” flavor I submitted.  Chicken Cacciatore is normally a sloppy meal to eat that always seems to find a way to stain a white short.  The potato chip would capture that great flavor without staining shirts.  If you have Facebook, you can click the potato chip bag and click the “I’d Eat That” button as well as vote for it against other flavors (Like Cookies and Cream).

August 2, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, humor | , , , , , , | 1 Comment

No Time for Politics

I would like to thank President Obama and Mitt Romney for taking the high road and taking the politics out of the tragedy in Aurora today.   I have also cancelled political events for today.  (Though I would have canceled them anyway, as it had rained pretty heavily here all day.)

I will resume my campaign activities tomorrow with an appearance at ArtsWalk in Port Jervis, NY.  In addition to campaigning, I will be trying to unload some stick-figure drawings I made during a meeting a couple weeks ago.   I will also bring Patricia’s coloring book now that she has learned to stay within the lines when coloring.  She really enjoyed the “Family Guy” coloring book I bought her.  Her colorings of Brian looks more like Brian than the Brian on TV.

May God comfort the family and friends of those affected by the shootings in Aurora.

July 20, 2012 Posted by | commentary | , , , , , , , | Comments Off on No Time for Politics

Homer, Mickey, and Peter

There will be people who will use their vote to “protest.”  Some people will never vote for whomever the Democratic and Republican Parties spew at them.  Most of these people will vote for another party (Libertarian, Green, Reform, Constitution, etc.) or will vote for somebody with no party affiliation.  Some people would rather stay at home.

This is for those “protest” voters who spend hours in line waiting to vote on Election Day only to vote for a fictional character.  This is potentially dangerous.  On the surface, you think you are voting for Homer Simpson, Peter Griffin, or Mickey Mouse to run the country.  Don’t get me wrong, I like Homer, Peter, and Mickey.  I trust them more with nuclear weapons than I do with either Barack Obama, Rick Santorum, or Mitt Romney.  The problem becomes who runs the country should one of these characters become President.  (Mickey Mouse and Homer Simpson have had over 2,000 votes for President in the past)  Mickey Mouse is a registered trademark of Disney.  Homer Simpson and Peter Griffin are trademarks owned by Fox Corp.  Both companies are huge supporters of the Cinemafia.

While I am a fictional character as well, I am not owned by a corporation.  Unlike other fictional characters, I have a platform available for all to see.  I will run the country based on my platform via my campaign manager (who is a real person.)

Be careful how you vote.  You could “protest” by voting for someone who is owned by a company who spends millions lobbying to keep things the same, or you can vote for someone who really wants things to be better for all Americans (even if he doesn’t really exist.)

March 5, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, Democrats, editorial, election, entertainment, humor, issues, Platform, politics, Republicans, satire | , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments


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