Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Transitions

I am undergoing a series of transitions in my life.  The whole process should take a couple months.  It could take a lot less time if things break my way.  I am in the process of moving to Maryland.  Below are the reasons:

  • My parents are not doing well.  My mother suffered a stroke and has yet to fully recover.  My father becomes lost when he has to cook his own meals.   
  • Every time it was my weekend for custody of my daughter, I have been reminded that it is winter.  This weekend is supposed to be freezing rain.
  • Cigarettes are cheaper in Maryland.  They’re expensive in New Jersey and I would need a loan to buy a pack in New York City.  If I am doing business in Virginia, I could buy cigarettes for dirt cheap compared to what I currently pay.
  • My business is slowing down here.  Many small businesses are closing and few new ones are starting up.  I do not know how I will fare businesswise in Maryland, but most of my current clients are set up that I can work from home with minimal trips back to New Jersey.
  • Lottery tickets have a better payout in Maryland.  Funds for the lottery in both states go towards education.  I have always been someone who demands a good return on my investments.  Since our children aren’t getting any smarter, the only other payout is winning on tickets.  Maryland lottery tickets offers more winners than New Jersey does.

For those who are wondering about what the “sequester” talk is in Washington, I think I can make it easier to understand.  The $100 billion in “spending cuts” means that government will increase spending by $100 billion instead of $200 billion.  Programs will be cut so the government can continue to spend money on projects that benefit their friends.

I hope the transition time is short.  I miss blogging and campaigning.  Have a good weekend from the entire Ahmnodt Heare for President campaign team!

February 22, 2013 Posted by | Ahmnodt, education, issues, Personal Life | , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Transitions

An Easter Story

This is not your typical Easter story.  It has nothing to do with bunnies, eggs, chocolate, bonnets, or the resurrection of Jesus.  And although it does involve a family outing, it wasn’t my family with the outing.

I went to the Chinese restaurant for take-out to bring home.  Circumstances prevented me from traveling to see family this year,  so dinner was going to be a quiet day alone.  I couldn’t even do that right.  I ran into my neighbors, who were there for their family Easter Dinner.  They invited me to join them.  I did under the pretense that it was just my neighbors and their two children.  It was his parents, her parents, his mother’s brother, the wife’s brother and sister, their spouses and children.

His family and her family do not get along.  The reason why they had dinner at the Chinese restaurant to begin with was because their families couldn’t agree on who was going to host dinner.  The only restaurants in town open on Easter were the Chinese restaurant and the diner and the diner parking lot was full.

Like any other family disaster, the topic during dinner was politics.  I really didn’t want to do anything near campaigning because it was a holiday and I just wanted some peace of mind after the week I had with the tests and April Fool’s Day and all the other fiascoes I had to deal with.  The husband’s family are Obama supporters, the wife’s family are Romney supporters, and the nosy people dining at the table behind me were Santorum supporters.

It was only a matter of time before I had enough of the bickering and touted why I would be a better candidate than any of those people.  They ridiculed everything I said though all three of their candidates would equate to yet another George W. Bush term (The second straight term served by someone other than George W. Bush.  We were all escorted out by police following the food fight and loud vulgar language.

This weekend and this Easter were disappointing.  I am looking forward to getting back to the grind tomorrow.  Winging it just isn’t working.

 

April 8, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, humor, Obama, Personal Life, politics, satire | , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Weirder by the Moment

My mother and my daughter are at my place.  My father is at a nearby hotel.  I am at the Starbucks across the street from the hospital I am staying at.

My father was kind enough to pick up my daughter on his way to my condo from Washington.  My daughter gets scared when my father freaks out when he drives.  (For some odd reason, she doesn’t get scared when I freak out when I am driving.  Since I do most of my driving in New Jersey, I freak out more than my father does.)

My daughter was so disturbed by riding up with my father that as soon as she got to my place, she told my mother that she wanted me to drive her home on Sunday, only I can’t because I was in the hospital.

The trip to the hospital was the result of my fainting and becoming unconscious while shopping for office supplies (staples, paper clips, model glue).  I was about to be released last night when the doctor who examined me saw some problems with my previous health records.  This doctor wanted to know how my other doctor came up with the conclusion that I had menstrual cramps and vaginal discharge.  There were other things I told the doctor that I didn’t tell him until after the bloodwork was done.

  • I have had extreme body temperature fluctuations for the past week.  It’s been as high as 101.3 and as low as 96.8 though most of the time I have been at normal body temperature.
  • I have lost eleven pounds in the past two weeks.  In the past, I would have been stoked because I was obese for a long time, but the sudden loss of weight has me near underweight.
  • My farts smell really really bad.  The rule of thumb is that your own farts don’t smell as bad, but these last few farts hurt my nose.  I can only imagine the damage it is doing to the general public.
  • I fell asleep during “Wheel of Fortune.”

More bloodwork is being done in the morning.  Hopefully it will just be a pill or two and maybe an antibiotic and I’ll be good to go.

 

March 24, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, health care, humor, Personal Life, satire | , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Upcoming Radio Shows

NOTE: This post is a sticky.  More recent entries are below.

There are six shows remaining (at least under the current format.)  Below are the next two shows:

December 30, 9:00PM Eastern:  “The Fiasco Known as 2010” – 2010 has been a horrible year. Everything from 9%+ unemployment to the popularity of Justin Bieber made 2010 a year to forget. Ahmnodt Heare will look at the politics and social events that made 2010 a living nightmare.

January 4, 2011 9:00PM Eastern:  2011 has the potential of being a very good year. Ahmnodt Heare will point out what needs to be done to make 2011 a great year and why none of that stuff will get done.

NOTE II – The show scheduled for December 28 has been rescheduled for December 30 at 9PM Eastern.

December 21, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, blogtalk radio, campaign, humor, satire | , , , , , | 2 Comments

My Favorite Thanksgiving

It was Thanksgiving of 1989.  A few things stood out about that Thanksgiving.  The first thing was the turkey we were supposed to have went bad.  The fowl was foul.  My mother sent me to the supermarket to get a turkey that wasn’t sour.

I had just gotten my license a few weeks earlier.  It was a good thing I had it because none of the supermarkets in the area had any turkeys left over.  It took me a while and a bit of driving to find a supermarket that still had turkeys twenty miles from my home.   The supermarket lines were crowded and it seemed to take forever to pay for the turkey.

I was heading home when the rear passenger tire went flat.  I had never changed a tire before and I soon realized that it would be a while longer before I would change a flat.  The car did not have a jack.  I frantically tried to wave somebody down who could help me.  A few people came over and wanted to help, but none of them had jacks either.  A policeman came over just before noon and was able to quickly change the tire.

Thanksgiving started to get good at noon as I was listening to the radio and was introduced to “Alice”s Restaurant” by Arlo Guthrie.  The song is about twelve minutes long and is about two guys who had a worse Thanksgiving than I was having because they were in jail.

I soon arrived home to two very angry parents.  It took them a while for them to realize I wasn’t joyriding trying to avoid Thanksgiving.  Having turkey that day was out of the question because by the time the turkey was prepped and cooked, it would be after 8:00PM before we would eat.  We ended up having pancakes, eggs, bacon, and oatmeal.

There is something to be said for having breakfast as your Thanksgiving meal.  It’s amazing how much relieved people could be of stress once the tradition of a holiday is shot to Hell.  It isn’t the turkey or the football or the “Monk” marathons that make Thanksgiving.  It’s the people you are thankful for having in your life being in your life.

Happy Thanksgiving from the entire Ahmnodt Heare for President campaign team!

November 25, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, humor, satire | , , , , , , | Comments Off on My Favorite Thanksgiving

5 Things I’m Looking Forward to This Week

Short work week
It shouldn’t be number 1, but it is.

 

Football Thursday through Monday
I find yelling at the TV while watching football to be a healthy alternative to using drugs or binge drinking.

 

Being with family
It should be number 1, but it isn’t. Not because I have any animosity forwards my family or that I am not looking forward to see them. I see them often during the year.

 

Watching “Black Friday” from a distance
They could be giving away everything I want to buy for Christmas and you still won’t find me near a department store, supermarket, or library during Black Friday. It’s a good day for me to know my daughter better as I only see her every other weekend.

 

Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade
I always loved watching the floats on the Thanksgiving Day Parade, especially now that there is a “Hello Kitty: float. And Santa Claus at the end of the parade made it the official start of Christmas music.

 

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November 21, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary | , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Raising a Daughter

Tonight is a must-listen show if you are a parent raising a young daughter.

Ahmnodt Heare is a part-time father of a young girl. Like many other fathers, he is concerned about his daughter’s future. He will examine what to watch for in children’s shows so that your daughter doesn’t end up in the same trap as Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, and Miley Cyrus. – From tonight’s show

Be sure to listen at 9PM Eastern / 6 PM Pacific and call in (347)-945-7487 for any questions you may have.

October 19, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, blogtalk radio | , , , , , | 9 Comments

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