Ahmnodt Legal Tender
The Federal Reserve has issued $100 bills with Ahmnodt Heare.
Since the federal government is going to run up our national debt, I can at least be honored to don the new $100 bill. Ahmnodt Legal Tender… Coming soon to banks across America.
Federal Reserve – Please Bail Me Out!
My business ventures are struggling in these tough economic times. In order for me to do my part and keep the economy thriving, I need money to spend. I am losing money in my tropical igloo business as well as in Braille steering wheels. My bikini store in northern Alaska is going to close any day now. I lost a bundle in the invisible tattoo market.
I would only need $500 million to keep these businesses afloat, much less than the $85 billion used to bail out AIG. Ben Bernake, please help me!
About
Ahmnodt Heare is a fictional character running a real campaign. He is an Independent candidate for President of the United States. His views on solving America’s problems is different than the ideas being offered by any Republican or Democratic candidate.
In the upcoming days, he will give a daily account of his political activities, campaigns, and other behind the scene activities like no other candidate ever has.
The purpose of this blog is to showing the absurdity of Ahmnodt Heare’s platform and show that the two major parties are equally absurd (especially at the federal level.)
If you are fed up with the two-party duopoly, then feel free to write in “Ahmnodt Heare” for the office of your choosing.
On Election Day, tell your fellow Americans, “Ahmnodt Heare!”
Ahmnodt Heare for America. Ahmnodt Heare for You.
Ahmnodt Heare for President 
My Economic Policy
In the past I have talked about how I would create jobs. Creating jobs won’t mean much without a sound economic vision because companies won’t make the money they need to maintain employment.
I will try to lay out my banking and finance strategy without boring you to tears. This won’t be easy because thinking about bores me to tears. But once the plan is implemented, you will be pleased with how things are going to go.
My banking plan will simply banking, remove or lower many banking fees, and make loans more readily available while allowing banks to make money. I would eliminate checking and saving fees and lower cash advances from ATM machines to $1.00 per transaction. Banks would make their money from interest-free loans from the Federal Reserve once the government takes it over (more on this in a minute) and by increasing the limit on interest rate on homes and automobiles.
The Constitution states that Congress is supposed to be in charge of minting monies. Therefore, the Federal Reserve is unconstitutional. I also believe that the government is better suited to print money out of thin air than any private institution like the Federal Reserve.
My plan will allow banks to make more money, allow people to keep more of their own money so they can spend it on stuff and keep stores open and able to keep employees.
I apologize if you were bored but you will be excited when you have more money to spend. This is one reason why I am running for President. I also want more money to spend.
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June 7, 2012 Posted by Ahmnodt Heare | campaign, commentary, economy, editorial, issues, satire | bank fees, banking, Federal Reserve, finance, loans, money | 4 Comments