Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Safe and Sound

Hurricane Lamar Alexander Arthur came and left southwestern Delaware with only rain (quite a bit) and wind (less than what comes out of a politician’s mouth), but no damage.  Everybody in the Heare household is safe and sound and we are all awaiting the fireworks show that is about to begin across the street.  It’s not the fireworks show that the town is having.  It’s the show my neighbors have when they have a barbecue or party and there is alcohol involved.  Hopefully, the police won’t have to come this time.

I will not be campaigning tomorrow, but I will try an impromptu campaign stop on Saturday somewhere on the Delmarva peninsula.

 

July 4, 2014 Posted by | Ahmnodt | , , , , , | Comments Off on Safe and Sound

Keep it Safe

Today is the 234th anniversary of the Declaration of Independence.  Though I doubt our founding fathers had intended it, Independence Day has become a day of sun worship, barbecues, fireworks, and alcohol.  Here are a few steps you can do to make sure your Fourth of July is a happy and safe holiday:

  • Sun Worship – Wear sunscreen, especially during the day.  Limit your time in the sun as too much exposure can lead to sunburn and the ever-disgusting peeling process.
  • Barbecues – Do not put the grill near the house or in the house.  Do not store firecrackers, M-80s, Roman Candles, or Dynamite near the grill.  The grill should be supervised by an adult at all times, especially while in use.
  • Fireworks – Do not hold fireworks in your hand while igniting them.  Do not light near other people, cars, houses, animals, or nuclear power plants.  Fireworks should be used only by professionals, but if you can’t follow this simple rule, then at least make sure you are an adult and sober enough to handle fireworks without blowing up extremities.
  • Alcohol – I cannot emphasize this enough.  If you must drink, do not get behind the wheel of a car or in front of a camera.  Failure to follow these instructions can prove to be costly.

I encourage you to have fun this Independence Day.  Just don’t be stupid while having fun.

July 4, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, editorial, humor, satire | , , , , , | 5 Comments

Computer Shopping

I will be computer shopping over the weekend.  My old computer was destroyed on Tuesday due to an unfortunate mishap with Yoo-Hoo.  I was doing some work when Patricia came running in.  The Yoo-Hoo flew out of her handand landed on the computer tower.  I rushed to get paper towels, but I didn’t have any.  I couldn’t use a towel because they were all dirty and I didn’t want to get the computer dirty from a dirty towel.  I grabbed a roll of toilet paper and headed back to the computer.  It was too late.  The computer was sparking like a Macy’s fireworks display  and smoking like a Turkish bath house.

This is my neighbor’s computer.  He is letting me use it now, but he will be going away for two weeks and I won’t be able to use his computer.  Buying the computer won’t take long.  The hard part will be salvaging all of the information from my hard drive to the new hard drive.  I do not know what damage, if any, was done to the hard drive.

I will be campaigning in Yonkers, NY today and tomorrow.  I will be giving a number of speeches including a speech to the homeless giving them “Homeless Improvement” tips.  I will show them how to fortify their cardboard box homes as well as proper dusting techniques of heat grates so they can stay clean while staying warm.

July 17, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign | , , , , , , | Comments Off on Computer Shopping

   

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