Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Post-Sandy Timeline

Few things scare me.  Hurricane Sandy scared me.  The last time I got as scared as Monday night was when I heard a rumor that Anne Murray was coming out with a new CD.  I lost power just before 8:00PM Monday night.  During that time, I heard three trees crash to the ground and a howling wind like I had never heard  before.  I regained power at 12:30AM, but the surge killed my old computer.  Below is a timeline of how the rest of my week went:

  • Tuesday – I had no phone service and no internet to watch Roku.  Cable TV was working, but only a few stations were up. (Two shopping networks, two Spanish networks, and WPIX.)
  • Wednesday – The rest of the networks came back online.  News was showing all of the flooding in Queens, Manhattan, and Long Island.  Finding a gas station that was opened and had gas was harder to find than a needle in a haystack.
  • Thursday – The news stations started showing footage from the Jersey Shore.  The “Habitat for Hotties” house I helped build in 2008 was demolished by Sandy.
  • Friday – Spent most of the day battling Montezuma’s Revenge.  I found out later in that there was a water advisory since Tuesday and that I was supposed to be boiling my drinking water.  I only mentioned it because Governor Chris Christie mentioned it during a hurricane recovery update.
  • Saturday (Today) – My computer finally arrived.  I am still trying to figure out Windows 8.  My last computer had Vista as the operating system.  Gas rationing is now in effect with “odd-even days” depending on the last number on the license plate.  I am odd.

I will not be participating in this year’s “Orgies for Abstinence due to the hotel it was to be held at needs the room for Sandy refugees from the coast.  I will instead be celebrating my election victory with close friends.

November 3, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, humor, politics, satire | , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Can It Get Any Worse?

I picked a bad week to have a bunch of things go wrong.  I was supposed to attend a rally at  a veteran’s hall in Washington Township, New Jersey.  Nobody told me that there are at least two Washington Townships in New Jersey.  This is worse than the Canadian Football League having two teams called the Rough Riders.  (Saskatchewan Rough Riders and Ottawa Rough Riders [now Renegades].)

The following also happened this weekend:

  • I ran out of gas trying to get from the wrong Washington Township to the correct Washington Township.  I ended up missing my own rally.  “I’m Not Here at an Ahmnodt Heare Rally” might as well been th headline in the newspapers.
  • My computer crashed – I am currently using my campaign manager’s old laptop (which is on its last legs.)  It is a Windows XP laptop and the Service Pack 2 was never updated or installed.  I ordered a custom-built laptop which I should get later this week.
  • The water pipe in my apartment is leaking.  This is bad news considering that my floor is concrete based and has to be taken out to get to the pipes.  My bedroom looks like an astroturf football after a soaking rain.
  • The Washington Redskins lost to the New York Giants 27-23 after taking a 23-20 lead with less than two minutes to go in the game.  This especially hurts considering I now live in New Jersey about an hour from the stadium.
  • No “Family Guy” tonight.   It has been preempted by the NLCS between the St. Louis Cardinals and the San Francisco Giants.

Before you answer the question, please note that it was a rhetorical question.  I am looking forward to debating tomorrow night (even if it’s the same way I had to debate the first two times and Albee Thayer had to debate in the Vice President Debate.  You are invited to join me even if the other candidates don’t want you to join them.

October 21, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Albee, campaign, debate, humor, politics, satire | , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Can It Get Any Worse?

The Aftermath

I didn’t quite make it home last night and I don’t know when I will be able to return.  Several roads are either flooded or washed out near my home so I am currently in Princeton, NJ.  My ability to get business done is limited until the flooding recedes tomorrow or Thursday.

While I am stuck here, I will be working on my hurricane, tornado, and earthquake prevention plans and present them Friday night on my podcast.  To the best of my knowledge, I am the only presidential candidate to offer plans that prevent disasters.

August 30, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, blogtalk radio | , , , | 2 Comments

   

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