2011 – The Debacle (October-December)
“Oops!”
Not much happened in October as I was recovering from my campaign hiatus.
November: My prediction that Justin Bieber is a Canadian spy was proven to be correct. I went on to discuss his mission in the United States. I explained the politics of the media and of food. I explained the life of the citizen and how I plan to help (as I am also a citizen).
December: One learning experience after another. I learned not to wash the toaster in the bathtub while it is plugged in. Another lesson was that I don’t always express myself clearly enough. I also exposed more dirt on the Cinemafia. Trial and error sessions with my new video show.
Tomorrow I will make my predictions for 2012.
Volunteering
Every once in a while I volunteer in my community (or in somebody else’s community.) Today was one of those days. My first choice was volunteering as a dressing room attendant at the local nudie bar. I was told that the ladies don’t need any help, even if I was offering my services without expecting compensation. I was also told not to bring my camcorder any more.
I spend the day volunteering at a soup kitchen. Not only did they serve soup (today’s soup was New England Clam Chowder), they also served Curry over rice and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. There was birthday cake for dessert even though it wasn’t anybody’s birthday today. (The volunteer coordinator said that today wasn’t anybody’s birthday, but I think people were born on November 29.)
I started my day peeling carrots, dicing onions, and deshelling peanut M&Ms. Despite my culinary skills, I was needed more in the dining area. Tables needed to be cleared from breakfast and it needed to be done quickly as lunch was to be served in less than an hour. Tables needed to be wiped down, seats needed to be cleaned off, the floor needed to be swept and mopped, and carcases needed to be removed.
The dining area seats 65 people. The only problem is that the soup kitchen averages 120 people per meal. I needed to pre-bus tables and clean tables as soon as the first wave of people left so the second wave of people had a clean table to eat. Cleaning continued after lunch as the people left.
I stayed until 2:00. I would have stayed later, but I was getting hungry and wanted to get a bite to eat. It just seemed wrong to ask to eat the soup kitchen food when there are so many people whose only meals come from the soup kitchen. I went to a diner and and ordered an artery-hardening cheese-steak sandwich and some fries saturated in saturated fat.
The Cinemafia Wants More!
It is bad enough the Cinemafia wanted to control what you watch. Now they want to control what you eat. They want you to eat “healthy.” They suddenly care bout what you put in your body. Don’t fall for it. It is just a ploy to hide what they really want to do, which is to control what you watch, and sub sequentially, what you think.
We Americans might be gullible to pay $15 for a large tub of popcorn and a large Coke, but we’re not going to spend that type of money on a large tub of broccoli and a large prune juice. We go to movies to be entertained, not to learn. What’s next? Treadmills instead of seats? Spinning machines?
It is time for the Cinemafia to quit telling people how to live and gouging our pocketbooks and wallets in the process. As President, I will make sure that the Cinemafia quits acting like evil brats and starts making quality affordable movies again.
A Look at my Platform – Poverty
Over the next couple weeks, I will take issues from my platform and further explain my positions. Today, I will discuss my views on poverty."War on Poverty" can be solved by giving poor people $30/month and sending them to Africa once a month for food shopping. A family of four in Africa can eat for $.70/day. They would still have $8.30 for beer.
I am seriously considering doing my food shopping in Africa. It can cost over $100/week for food shopping for a family of one. This is $400/month. It would be cheaper to fly poor people to Africa once a month to do their food shopping. It would be even cheaper to fly one person to Africa to buy up all the food there and fly it back home and sell it at cost. The $8.30 left over wouldn’t necessarily have to go towards beer. It could go towards a pack of cigarettes (except in New York City, where cigarettes are almost $10.00 per pack.)
While many supermarkets would go out of business under my plan, my plan would allow Americans to eat and have more money left over for entertainment. It’s not like the CineMafia is going away.
My Heart-Felt Graditude
I am extremely thankful for the 20,000 supporters who have stopped by my blog since I started blogging in February, 2008. I have learned a lot during my campaigning from the 2008 and the 2012 elections.
- Shake hands and kiss babies: I had always gotten the two confused. A female supporter was pleased when I kissed her hand. She became irate when I shook her baby.
- People like to eat: Two of my top ten page views have come from Grandma Oudda’s recipes. People like strawberries and sausage (but not in the same recipe). They also like pot pie and cheesecake.
- People are afraid to debate a “nobody”: And they will do whatever it takes to make sure you remain a nobody.
- Canadians are good people: What the Canadian government has done to the United States is often done against the will of the fine Canadian People. I can’t blame Canadians for not wanting William Shattner or Celine Dion in their country.
- You can remain devoted to Vanna White without being a Vanna White Supremacist.
As the 2012 campaign continues, I am sure that I will learn a lot more things. Many things I have learned have been from supporters like you. I am thankful for your support and stuff.
Food Costs Rising Fastest in 17 Years
Food Costs Rising Fastest in 17 Years: Financial News – Yahoo! Finance
One thing we can do is to quit paying farmers not to grow crops. If we are going to pay people not to do something, maybe we can pay Congress not to write any laws. Many of the laws they have written lately have been stupid. We can also pay the military not to fight in preemptive wars. Both of these make more sense than paying farmers not to grow food when the demand for food is so high.
Maybe people can pay me not to blog or to not run for president. It would take more money than allowable by law. We could pay Dick Cheney not to hide. Or pay cheerleaders not to wear clothes. (Where do I send the check for the last one?)
Let the farmers grow food and don’t export food until we have more stable food prices.
Off to a Bad Start
This working / medical testing / campaigning / vacation trip has gone off to a bad start. I had arrived at my destination and finished unpacking when I realized I had forgotten my phone. (I did remember my charger this time.) I also forgot my calendar of what I was supposed to do while I am here (and when.) I know about the parade tomorrow afternoon, but there is currently a 70% chance of rain and I am not sure if this is a “rain-or-shine” parade or a “Rain Date next Sunday” parade.
I also forgot my food and medication. There is nothing special about my food, but I like to plan meals for days at a time. Portion control plays a key part in my weight maintenance program. I have already gone overboard by eating a large pizza pie and a calzone for lunch. I’ll be heading out for an “All-you-can-eat” buffet for dinner tonight.
The weird thing is I have been watching more news than I normally have. The more news I watch, the less I know what is going on in the political world. The only thing I got from politics this week is that Rick Santorum said that something was “Bull****”. I wasn’t sure what came after the “Bull” because the news networks kept bleeping it out.
With less news watching and more life doing, I should soon regain my pulse on what is happening in the political world. Yay!
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March 31, 2012 Posted by Ahmnodt Heare | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, humor, politics, satire | bullshit, calzone, censorship, food, forgetting, medication, news, phone, vacation, working | 4 Comments