Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Weird Dream

I had a dream that I won the election and became President.  That’s not the weird part.  I won 454 of the 538 electoral votes. (I lost in New York and California.)  That’s not the weird part either.  The weird part was that I had absolutely no press coverage.  I wasn’t mentioned in any polls, there was no cheating on either my part or by any of my supporters.  The reactions by the election night hosts on the networks were from bewildered to outrage.  Below are some of the few reactions:

  • CNN – Anderson Cooper kept mumbling, “Ahmnodt Heare” while looking like Wolf Blitzer just ripped a “Silent-but-Deadly.”
  • MSNBC – Chris Matthews blew a gasket.  “Who the **** is Ahmnodt Heare?  How in the **** did he win?  Seriously, who is he?”
  • Fox News chose not to mention my name.  They ran with “Obama Defeated” without mentioning who beat him.
  • Current TV – Keith Olbermann said, “November 6, 2012 – Americans played ‘Oddball’ and hit the jackpot!”
  • CBS News did have some ground reporters talking to people who voted for me.  They also had a countdown to December 21 on the bottom of the screen.
  • NBC News managed to find out something about me.  Kelly O’Donnell was reading my platform to the audience.  Luke Russert alternated moments between agony and outright laughter.
  • ABC News was looking to get President Obama’s reaction to his shocking loss.

My father called me and told me that TMZ was around his neighborhood looking for dirt on me.  TMZ does not want me to become president because a large part of their business is following and reporting on Cinemafia stars.

Twitter was abuzz with the election.  The leading trend the entire night was either “Ahmnodt Heare” or “Who is Ahmnodt Heare.”  Other keywords pertaining to my campaign included, “Cinemafia”, “Vanna White Supremacist”, and “Orgies for Abstinence.”

The more I look back at the dream, the more I can envision the entire dream happening as I recalled it.  The part most likely to happen is the mainstream media being left in the dark as to how I won.  I’ll probably end up having my first interview as President-Elect with Alex Jones.

February 26, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, election, humor, issues, media, politics, satire, Social Networking, Vanna White | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

What I Learned From Last Night’s Debate

I learned a few things from watching last night’s debate on Fox News.  I am sure the hundreds of others who watched learned a thing or two also.  Below is what I learned from the debate:

  • Fox News did not use a bell to signal a candidate that his time has expired.  People might confused it for a bell of liberty and Fox News will have none of that.
  • Newt Gingrich can go an entire debate without attacking the media.
  • South Carolinians hate the “Golden Rule” but they like the “Golden Shower.”
  • Fox News encouraged viewers to tweet followed by #dodge or #answer following a candidate’s answer.  #dodge trended all night.  #answer never trended.
  • The issue of the debt and deficit spending was not a big issue.  Mainly because none who support attacking Iran can explain how to pay for it with accumulating additional debt.

I was asked who won last night’s debate.  The answer if anybody watched would be obvious.  The answer is the alcohol industry.  Between the drinking games people play while watching debates and the heavy drinking people do when pondering that either one of these people or Barack Obama could win the election.

Negotiations are currently underway for a special debate that will include me.  I will give more information once things are confirmed.  It is currently scheduled for Saturday January 28 at 6:00PM Eastern on my BlogTalk Radio show.

January 17, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, debate, economy, editorial, foreign policy, humor, issues, satire | , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

My Latest “I Told You So!”

http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2011/12/05/recent-charges-sexual-abuse-children-in-hollywood-just-tip-iceberg-experts-say/

I have warned several times about the devious perversion of the Cinemafia.  People have called me a lunatic and have been dismissed as a “cheapskate who hates paying for movies.”  It turns out this lunatic cheapskate was correct.

Some of the victims have included famous child stars like Corey Feldman and Allison Arngrim (Nellie from “Little House on the Prairie”)  According to the article on FoxNews.com, it has been an epidemic for years.

Below is the first video I ever made soon after announcing my candidacy in 2008.  It only deals with the high cost of movies, but I will tie everything together below the video:

The most obvious benefit to lowering the cost of entertainment is that it will become affordable.  While my plan will still allow Hollywood to make a profit, they will no longer have “hush money” for their dirty little secrets.

A President must protect his people from evil, foreign and domestic.  One key to protecting people is knowing when a problem arises and fixing it before it arises.  Small problems are easier to fix than big problems.  I will devote a good portion of my time to fixing the small problems so that there won’t be more big problems for the next President.  Obama has left enough for me.

December 5, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, cinemafia, commentary, editorial, entertainment, humor, satire | , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Herman Cain Will Be Missed

Why am I going to miss Herman Cain if he is one of the candidates running against me?  I will miss him because the more opponents who are pretty much the same running, the better it is for my campaign.  With one fewer pro-Cinemafia candidate running, the pro-Cinemafia will have fewer choices, which will give more votes to the other candidates.

If pizza was to suddenly become a hot-button political issue, then Herman Cain suspending his campaign would be a big boost as I am the other candidate who loves pizza enough to eat it without utensils.

The Iowa Caucuses are one month from today.  If you live in Iowa and want to spread the word, this week will be a good week to picket movie theaters and spread the word on how I plan to make entertainment more affordable.  If you rather do something during the day, you can stand in front of a hospital and give out apples whilst discussing my “Apple-a-Day” health care plan.

I’ll be doing my usual debate thing tonight.  My comments will be on Facebook and Twitter.  If you have any questions to ask me during the debate, feel free to tweet @AhmnodtHeare or use the #ahmnodt hashtag.  The debate is hosted by former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee and will start at 8:00PM EST on FoxNews.

December 3, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, health care, humor, issues, politics, satire | , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Commentary on Recent Political Events

A lot has gone on in the political world in recent weeks.  I’ll explain in a minute, but I have to apologize for a tweet I posted today.

“If you are a Democrat or a Republican, you are mentally incompetent.”

I apologize for those who are mentally incompetent for comparing them to Republicans and Democrats.  It was in poor taste and I will use better judgement in my future tweets unless I am drunk.

Presidential candidate Congresswoman Michele Bachmann was offended when Fox News anchor Chris Wallace asked her if she was a flake.  It was discovered later that Congressman Jeff Flake was offended if he was a Bachmann.

Former Utah Governor Jon Huntsman announced he was running for President as did former Minnesota governor Tim Pawlenty.  Here is advice for those planning to run for President in the future:  If you are going to run for president, do so before the first poll.  Once the polls start coming out.  if you aren’t leading, there’s no point in running.  It’s hard enough to catch up when you’ve been running since the beginning.  I have been running since the day after the 2008 election.  I am speaking from experience.

Gay marriage was passed in New York State.  I support this.

Anthony Weiner resigned after lying about his weiner.  He’ll be back in politics.  He lives in New York,  where people tend to be forgiving of politicians who wander to the dark side. (Especially if he or she is a Democrat.)

Rod Blagojevich was found guilty of 17 of 18 charges.  He could be spending the next 250 years in prison.  I am guessing he will be the happiest person in the world in 2361.

There are 16 1/2 months until Election Day 2012.  I am not being mentioned yet, but I will be soon.  I will be sending another press release to the news networks challenging President Obama to a series of debates.  He should take me up on the challenge and explain his actions to the American people.

June 28, 2011 Posted by | commentary, editorial, humor, politics, Poll, Republicans, satire | , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Dead People Voting

My long hard work of campaigning in cemeteries and morgues is paying off according to a Fox News article.  Americans for Limited Government President Bill Wilson seems to have issues with my campaign strategy and garnishing votes from the deceased population.  He’s jealous because as the only candidate who campaigns to the deceased and sympathizes with their issues, my message resonates with dead dead people more with Bill Wilson’s message.

The main reason why I campaign in cemeteries and morgues is because those places are not internet-ready and people there are unable to read my blog while decomposing.  I think every dead person who takes the time to cast a vote deserves to have his or her voice heard.  We cannot allow necrophobes to continue to deny people their right to vote just because they are deceased.

January 19, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, election, humor, politics, satire | , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Search “Ahmnodt Heare” on Media Websites

The next time you go to MSNBC, CNN, Fox News, or Drudge Report, use their search box and search for “Ahmnodt Heare”.  While you will not find any results as of yet, you will make the website people at these sites notice and will want to search further.

I thank you for taking on this endeavour.

October 8, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, election, media | , , , , , , | Comments Off on Search “Ahmnodt Heare” on Media Websites

   

%d bloggers like this: