Problems Abroad
Ahmnodt Heare is currently campaigning in Paris. He sent me a text message saying that his laptop is fried because the voltage converter he used for using his laptop in Europe is broken. He can’t post blog entries or on Facebook because he doesn’t have a smartphone. He says his phone is really rather dumb.
Ahmnodt was a bit lost when he first arrived in Paris. The name of the new President of France, Francois Hollande, threw him off and he thought he was in the Netherlands. Soon, he realized that more people were speaking French than during his last visit to Amsterdam. He thought the “e” in “Hollande” was just a result of poor European spelling.
I called him at his hotel this morning. He said that he was able to draw large crowds, but that there were some problems with translation. People were baffled about the “Cinemafia” because there is no French equivalent. He thinks they interpreted the word as “SinnerMafia”, which threw them off.
People also thought he was running for the President of France. They had their election last month and Hollande beat former President Nicolas Sarkozy. They were perplexed as to why an American candidate would campaign in Paris. He explained that he was running for President of the Free World and was encouraging the French to write Hillary Clinton and demand that they be allowed to vote for Leader of the Free World. They seemed to like that idea but didn’t seem willing to vote for an American as Leader of the Free World.
One Parisian walked up to him and said that they would consider voting for him as leader of the Free World if he had New York Red Bulls soccer player Theirry Henry as a running mate. He said he already had a running mate (Thank you for remembering me, Ahmnodt) but there was an opening in the cabinet for Department of Health and Human Services now that Jack Kevorkian was deceased.
He will be spending the rest of the night in Paris before heading to Berlin tomorrow. He said that he will now remember that Angela Merkel’s name is not “Andrea”. It cost him in German popularity the last time.
Notice for Non-Americans
I am not just running for President of the United States. I am running for Leader of the Free World. I do not believe that this election should limited to people of the United States. It is unfair for Canadians, British, Germans, French, and others to be deprived in voting for Leader of the Free World just because it is for the President of the United States. It is important that you reach the U.S. Embassy in your country or the Department of State in the United States and demand that you be allowed to vote for leader of the free world!
Below are the addresses for some of the U.S. Embassies not in the United States:
CANADA
U.S. Embassy
490 Sussex Drive, K1N 1G8
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Telephone: (613) 238-5335
Facsimile: (613) 688-3082
FRANCE
4 avenue Gabriel,
75008 Paris (Place de La Concorde, métro stop Concorde)
Phone: 01-43-12-22-22
Fax:01-42-61-61-40
GERMANY
Clayallee 170, 14195 Berlin
Tel. (49)(30) 832-9233 (2PM-4PM Mon.-Fri.)
Fax(49)(30) 8305-1215
PHILIPPINES
1201 Roxas Bvld.
Ermita 1000
Manila
Telephone: (632) 301-2000
Fax: (632) 523-1356
UNITED KINGDOM
U.S. Embassy London
24 Grosvenor Square, London W1A 1AE
Telephone: 020-7499-9000
Consular fax: 020-7495-5012
For all other non-US Citizens in the Free World:
U.S. Department of State
2201 C Street NW
Washington, DC 20520
Phone: 1-202-647-4000
Fax: 1-202-261-8579
About
Ahmnodt Heare is a fictional character running a real campaign. He is an Independent candidate for President of the United States. His views on solving America’s problems is different than the ideas being offered by any Republican or Democratic candidate.
In the upcoming days, he will give a daily account of his political activities, campaigns, and other behind the scene activities like no other candidate ever has.
The purpose of this blog is to showing the absurdity of Ahmnodt Heare’s platform and show that the two major parties are equally absurd (especially at the federal level.)
If you are fed up with the two-party duopoly, then feel free to write in “Ahmnodt Heare” for the office of your choosing.
On Election Day, tell your fellow Americans, “Ahmnodt Heare!”
Ahmnodt Heare for America. Ahmnodt Heare for You.
Ahmnodt Heare for President 
Obama Steals my Campaign Strategy
As I am writing this blog entry, President Obama is in Strasbourg, France in a “town hall” meeting. He is campaigning as leader of the free world. The media is treating this as “news” and as something that is unprecedented. This strategy is not new. It was part of my campaign strategy in 2008. I just came back from Europe last week. While I did not get to visit France this time, I did get to speak to French nationals throughout Europe.
Although President Obama is campaigning throughout Europe, he seems to have no plan for Europeans to vote for the leader of the free world. This is where I have one-upped him. I am the only candidate who believes that everybody in the free world should be allowed to elect the leader of the free world.
I will give the President a little bit of advice. When you are in a foreign country, listen to the people, don’t dictate your agenda.
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April 3, 2009 Posted by Ahmnodt Heare | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, election, foreign policy, issues, politics, satire | Europe, France, leader of the free world, Strasbourg, strategy | 2 Comments