Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Accessing the Damage

The 2012 election was a disaster.  Not just because Barack Obama won (it would have been a disaster if Mitt Romney, Gary Johnson, Jill Stein, Roseanne Barr, or Vermin Supreme won), it was a disaster because I did not win.  I received fewer votes than in 2008.  I couldn’t even win Saguache County, Colorado this time.

Much of my campaigning in the last month was hampered by my computer crapping out and by Hurricane Sandy.  And while the women at the nudie bar like me as a patron, I could not parlay that into them campaigning for me or for them getting out to vote.

The “Voter ID” laws also caused damage to my voting base.  Deceased people and zombies tend not to carry identification on their persons because they generally don’t need identification.Neither demographic drives so they don’t need to get a drivers’ licence.

My campaign’s exposure to the mainstream was also sorely lacking.  I received no television coverage other than the occasional apolitical tweet read on television.

My goal is to run another penniless campaign in 2016.  But if I can’t get any television exposure or trend on Twitter, then I will spend some money on the campaign.  There might even be a PayPal account for donations.  (I hate asking for money.)

There will be goals set soon and I will post them once I figure out how I am going to win in 2016.

November 7, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, humor, media, Obama, Romney, satire | , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Tainted Polling Data

I was at a friend’s house last week when a polling company called his house and asked him who he wanted for President.  He replied by saying that saying my name.  The poll results were published in today’s local newspaper.  The poll showed President Obama getting 51% of the vote, Romney getting 46% of the vote and 3% going to “Undecided.”  There is a problem:  My friend’s opinion didn’t count.  He decided on somebody besides Obama and Romney, but people who decided for anyone besides those two continue to be disenfranchised.

I received an e-mail from a supporter in Wyoming who was also asked to take part in a poll.  She was only given the options of Obama and Romney.  She said that she was stern in saying my name.  The pollster replied by stating that the only choices allowed were Obama and Romney.  The pollster added in a condescending tone that they are the only two who have a chance to win.  She called the pollster names that I can not say here because my mother reads this blog.

I ran an experiment with polling not too long ago.  I would have written about it earlier, but I didn’t.  I took two polls asking different questions and getting different results:

  • When asked “Who do you want for President” and given the choices of Obama, Romney, Heare, Gary Johnson, Roseanne Barr,   Jimmy McMillan, or Nobody – President Obama and I are in a statistical dead heat.  (Obama got 49% of the vote while I got 31%, well within the 35% margin of error. )
  • When simply asked who they wanted for President with none of the options mentioned, I fared better edging Obama and Romney 32% with 31% each for Obama and Romney and Nobody getting most of the rest.  Gary Johnson got about a dozen votes and Roseanne Barr received one vote.  (The poll got her phone totally by random.)
  • When asked “If you were the only voter voting on Election Day and your vote decided who would be President, would you consider voting for Ahmnodt Heare?”, 87% said yes.

Another problem with polls (even my polls) is that they take a national picture and not one that goes by states and electoral votes.  With all of the problems and distortions in polling, I will not be mention polling results in the foreseeable future.  I will also not be partaking in any polls from pollsters because I don’t want to contribute to their distortions any more.

August 16, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, election, humor, Obama, politics, Romney, satire | , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

A Building Block

A recent poll showed that a plurality of Americans are neither Democratic nor Republican.  This is great news for independents like me.  The latest poll shows the following:

  • Independents – 40%
  • Democrats – 31%
  • Republican – 27%
  • Other parties (Libertarian, Green, Constitution, Rent is too Dammed High, etc.) – 2%

Let’s assume for a minute that everybody votes along party lines.  President Obama will get 31% of the vote.  Ron Paul will get 27%.  Two percent of the vote will be split among candidates like Gary Johnson, Cynthia McKinney, Chuck Baldwin, and Jimmy McMillan.

This leaves 40% of the vote for the independent candidate.  That is me.  Just to play it safe (because this is a national number and not split among the other states), I will do some campaigning to get votes from Democrats and Republicans.  This will hopefully be the plan to get me all 538 electoral votes, which would give me the presidency.

Yesterday’s debate was weird.  It just was.  I ended up spending almost as much time defending some of the Republicans as I did getting my message out.  Somebody was posting anti-Ron Paul statuses on my newsfeed.  There were a few problems I had about this.  The first was that these people had no intention of voting for me.  They wouldn’t say who they were voting for.  And the “facts” they were saying about Ron Paul were inaccurate or outright lies.  If a candidate has a bad record, point out the bad record.  Don’t lie just to get a few votes.

The other was a question I posted on Twitter.  I had asked why NBC had former Louisiana governor Buddy Roemer on all of its MSNBC talk shows showing sympathy for him for not being allowed to debate on FoxNews, ABC, or CNN only not letting him debate on the NBC debate either.

As the candidate with the most representation (among the polls listed above), I have to make sure I don’t lose any independents to the other parties.  Election Day is ten months from yesterday.  Independents take note that I am here to represent you and not some silly party with no dancing girls or beer kegs.  Thank you for your support.

January 9, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, Democrats, economy, humor, Obama, politics, Poll, Republicans, satire, voting | , , , , , , | 2 Comments

How I View Other Candidates

I look at the candidates who are running for President and conclude that I must run for President.  People need a good choice.  This entry isn’t about me as much as how I see the other candidates and why I can’t vote for the other candidates.

Barack Obama (D) – Incumbent – When he was pushing “Hope and Change”, I was hoping for hope and change.  We didn’t get that, but we did get George W. Bush’s third term.

Mitt Romney (R) – The resident snake oil / used car salesman.  I’m waiting for him to say, “What will it take to get you to vote for me today?”

Newt Gingrich (R) – aka “The Newtered One” – The snake from which Romney gets his oil to sell.  Gingrich is like the weather in Cleveland:  If you don’t like his platform, wait five minutes.  And like the Cleveland weather, it probably won’t be better, but it will change.

Ron Paul – (R) – Actually a pretty good candidate for a Republican, but will be best known as the candidate whose exposure on TV was mostly about how he doesn’t get exposure on TV.

Michele Bachmann – (R) – A rather simple debate strategy: “Barack Obama has failed at _______.”  As a foster mother of over 20 children, I envision her as putting bad people in a “time-out corner” with that corner in the United States being in northeastern Maine in the winter.

Rick Santorum – (R) – A man of faith whose mission is to declare war on Syria and Iran in the name of the “Prince of Peace.”  I don’t think Jesus approves of all the wars.

Rick Perry – (R) – He is the weird uncle that always shows up at family functions.

Jon Huntsman – (R) – A reasonable man with a couple of good ideas and some hot daughters.  The type of candidate people say they want, but end up voting for people with bad ideas like Obama, Romney, and Gingrich.

Gary Johnson (R) – The 2012 version of Ron Paul in 2008.  A libertarian messenger who doesn’t get to debate often.

Buddy Roemer (R) – The family member who has been misowned by the rest of the family.

Wayne Allyn Root (L) – He is trying to Republicanize the Libertarian Party.  He is a morph of Mitt Romney the salesman and Michele Bachmann the debater.

R. Lee Wrights (L) – A libertarian candidate in the Libertarian Party.  He’d eat smarty-pants Gingrich for lunch in a debate based on the writings of Wrights I have read.  A good man, but his party tends to shoot itself in the foot when it comes to political strategy.

Cynthia McKinney (G?) – A former Democratic Congresswoman who is not afraid to take on the establishment.  Painted as a “whacko” because the establishment does not like people who challenge it.

Jimmy McMillan (RITDH) – Stalking on his political opponents quietly and waiting for his moment to pounce.  Reminded America that the rent is too damned high.

Ahmnodt Heare (I) – An average guy who is trying to take money out of politics by not accepting donations and not spending money on the campaign.

There is the tale of the tape.  Vote wisely for me.

December 11, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, change, commentary, economy, humor, issues, Obama, politics, Republicans, satire, voting | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Ahmnodtaphobia

Ahmnodtaphobia (n) – the fear of losing an election to an independent candidate with no campaign money or party support.

I have to admit I never heard this term until yesterday.  A supporter in Iowa said she first coined it last year as she blurted it out during an argument with an Obama supporter.  Like many other supporters, she is tired of supporters of “mainstream” candidates saying that independents do not have a chance in elections.

It seems Ahmnodtaphobia is not limited to independent candidates.  It was alive and well in Saturday night’s GOP debate.  Michele Bachmann and Ron Paul’s campaigns noted that they received fewer questions and less time overall than the other candidates.  Former New Mexico Governor Gary Johnson wasn’t even invited to the debate despite meeting the poll criteria.

Ahmnodtaphobia was rampant in 2008 as I was not invited to any debates.  I am not sure if not being invited to debate with Republicans is because they only invite Republicans or if they are genuinely afraid I would outshine them in debates.  I am not sure how much I could outshine them considering the Republican candidates.  It’s hard to flap a plastic robot like Mitt Romney.  It’s also difficult to get someone like Ron Paul or Michele Bachmann to stumble if their opportunities to flub are minimal.  And it’s impossible to get Gary Johnson flustered if he doesn’t even get to debate.

Plastic robots like Barack Obama (blue) and Mitt Romney (red) get more questions in debates than other candidates.

A system has to be developed in which all voices can be heard.  The current system isn’t working.  All we are hearing are the same ideas that haven’t worked when other people tried it.  If you know someone who is Ahmnodtaphobic, kindly tell them to seek help immediately.

November 14, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, debate, economy, humor, Obama, politics, Republicans, satire | , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

   

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