Shopping Woes
Unlike the other presidential candidates, I have been in a supermarket in my lifetime. I have been doing my own shopping so I know the horrors of sticker shock first hand. I have developed carpal tunnel syndrome from clipping so many coupons in an attempt to get everything I want to get in the supermarket.
The excuses for the constant increases in coffee prices are as lame as the excuses for the constant increases in gas prices. Too much rain in Columbia, not enough rain in Kenya, too cold in Greenland. I have heard all of the excuses for spikes in coffee prices and frankly, I am sick of them.
While there are a ton of excuses for the spikes in coffee prices, I haven’t heard any for the spikes in the prices for pastas. We don’t get our pasta from Columbia or Kenya, so weather isn’t a factor. it has long since been discovered that spaghetti doesn’t grow on trees. The price of pasta has doubled over the last four years and I demand to know why! It seems the stuff I buy the most of has risen more than stuff I avoid like the Plague.
I don’t have all of the answers to the food prices, but I do have one answer that will lower prices for some foods. We need to stop paying farmers not to grow food. The more food, the cheaper. We also have to quit exporting food only to import some of the same food at a higher price.
You can vote for a candidate who can’t tell the difference between a shopping cart and a dolly or you can vote for someone who has walked in your shoes. I have walked in your shoes and will return them by the end of the week.
Burn more fossils!
The picture is small, but if you can see it clearly enough, you can see where the two trees fell. This would not have happened if global warming was occurring. The normal high for yesterday in these parts is 41F degrees. (That’s 5 Canadian.) Yesterday’s high was 31F (-1C) and it rained all day. When it’s this cold and it rains, everything freezes. Trees start falling and squirrels become homeless.
Before you think about using cleaner fuels, think about the squirrels. They live on this planet too.
Why My View on Global Warming Will Save Billions
Many politicians believe that global warming is a bad thing and that we must stop it. Many others believe that global warming doesn’t exist. My plan will save billions in energy costs.
We must discourage global warming in the summer. It is too hot in the summer in many parts of the world. Making the world warmer will just use up electricty to run air conditioners.
We must encourage global warming in the winter. Warming the planet will reduce the need to burn gas and oil to heat up houses.
Turning problems into solutions is a trait a president needs to have in order to succeed. Please vote for me on November 6, 2012.
“How to Solve the Gas Crisis” – Sunday 10PM Eastern
Independent Write-In Candidate Ahmnodt Heare will be the first candidate for president to offer a comprehensive plan to make energy affordable for Americans. Tune in to his show Sunday, April 27 at 10:00PM Eastern / 7:00PM Pacific. If you can’t catch it live, you can listen to the archive at the link below.
SPECIAL REPORT on Next Sunday’s Radio Show!
Presidential Write-In Candidate Ahmnodt Heare will be delivering his comprehensive energy solution next Sunday (April 27) at 10PM Eastern / 7PM Pacific on his Blogtalk Radio show. http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Ahmnodt-Heare
About
Ahmnodt Heare is a fictional character running a real campaign. He is an Independent candidate for President of the United States. His views on solving America’s problems is different than the ideas being offered by any Republican or Democratic candidate.
In the upcoming days, he will give a daily account of his political activities, campaigns, and other behind the scene activities like no other candidate ever has.
The purpose of this blog is to showing the absurdity of Ahmnodt Heare’s platform and show that the two major parties are equally absurd (especially at the federal level.)
If you are fed up with the two-party duopoly, then feel free to write in “Ahmnodt Heare” for the office of your choosing.
On Election Day, tell your fellow Americans, “Ahmnodt Heare!”
Ahmnodt Heare for America. Ahmnodt Heare for You.
Ahmnodt Heare for President 
Canada’s New Plan of Attack
For the last fifty years, Canada’s mode of attack has been to have their spies infiltrate the Great American Entertainment Industry and ruin our last remaining export. Some of their more infamous spies include William Shatner, Celine Dion, Anne Murray, and Justin Bieber. The Canadian government has reached a new low with their newest tactic. It is a complicated plan that hurts not only American citizens, but also their own.
First, Canada drives their prices so high that things become hard to afford in Canada. Gas is around $5.00/gallon in British Columbia while it’s about $3.80 in Washington State. Here is a cost-of-living comparison between Vancouver, BC and Seattle, WA. Canadians know things are less expensive in the United States so they hit American stores en mass and hoard essentials like milk, eggs, and cigarettes before Americans can get to them.
There are two ways to handle this: Raise the prices of things in Americs so it’s as bad here as in Canada. This is a bad idea unless you are rich and have a ton of disposable income. The other plan is to sabotage the Canadian Dollar to the point that it would be virtually worthless in the United States. That’s why I just came up with a third idea. He;p the Canadian citizens petition their government. This will not only make things more affordable for Canadians to shop in Canada, but it will finally put an end to their government’s tampering with American entertainment.
I should mention that no other presidential candidate has even mentioned this as of this posting. 84 shopping days until Election Day.
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August 14, 2012 Posted by Ahmnodt Heare | Ahmnodt, Canada, commentary, economy, foreign policy, humor, issues, satire | American entertainment, border wars, cigarettes, citizens, dollar, eggs, gas, Justin Bieber, milk, prices, shopping, William Shatner | 2 Comments