Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

My View on Gay Marriage

This is a reblog from my platform.  With the Supreme Court hearing a case on gay marriage this week, many people are starting to weigh in.  This post shows that I weighed in years ago.

Ahmnodt Heare for President

Over the next couple weeks, I will take issues from my platform and further explain my positions. Today, I will discuss my views on gay marriage.

I am for gay marriage. Married people have less sex than single people. That will teach them.

It is important to note that the quote above is a hypothesis.  I have no way of telling how much sex married people have since I quit peeping on my neighbors in 2003.  But what I noticed from my studies is that the frequency and the quality of sex my neighbors had diminished significantly within 3 months after being married.

Gay people are not that much different than straight people.  The difference is that with gay people, boys like boys and girls like girls.  But I am pretty sure that if gays were to marry, that the same thing would happen to them with sex.  It’s like…

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March 26, 2013 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, editorial, issues, Platform | , , | Comments Off on My View on Gay Marriage

The Real Issues

American politicians are notorious for keeping voters engaged with issues that have nothing to do with the future of American lives.  They want to keep you preoccupied with non-issues like gay marriage and the “war” on women, but not that both parties have raised the debt and the war on people in the Middle East.  Ask your politician why he are she is avoiding these vital issues:

  • Health Care – Romney mandated health care insurance for Massachusetts.  Obama has mandated it for the other 49 states, the District of Columbia, and the U.S. Territories.  Nobody is addressing why it costs $20 for ONE Tylenol in a hospital when you can get 100 for under $10 in many supermarkets and department stores.  I think America would be better served with everybody having apple trees and keeping the doctor away (and the expense of going to the doctor.)
  • Jobs – Romney created a bunch of minimum-wage jobs for Staples.  Obama created jobs for green companies that would eventually go bankrupt and lay everybody off.  My plan would create jobs by giving bailout to companies who don’t need it so they can hire more people and pay the workers they already have more money.  It would also bail out companies that no longer exist by bring back all of those laid off workers back to their jobs.
  • Entertainment –  I am the only candidate who understands that Americans love to be entertained and that the price of entertainment is spiraling out of control.  No other candidate has addressed the cost of entertainment because they don’t care.

You can elect somebody like Obama, Romney, or anyone else who tells you what the issues are or you can elect someone (Ahmnodt Heare) who you tell what the issues are.  The choice is yours.

May 26, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, election, entertainment, health care, humor, issues, Obama, satire, War | , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Here Now the News

I am able to pick up on most things before anything else.  What I was told today seemed to be one of those things I should have figured out right away, but ended up being the last person to know.  (Like the person who finds out his or her spouse has been cheating for years.)  I was told today that the media will make ANYTHING a news story just to make sure word of my candidacy and my campaign never makes it to the news.

There is a lot happening in the world, but three stories have been dominating the news all week.  One is somewhat understandable as it involves the President of the United States (The current one, Barack Obama, not the future one, Ahmnodt Heare.)  President Obama had flipped-flopped “evolved” his views about gay marriage and decided to favor it.  “Tanorexic Mom” and “Stripper Hot Dog Vendor” were also news stories, though neither of those stories will affect more than four or five people.  The latter two stories are only news stories because the mainstream media doesn’t want you to know I am a candidate for the President of the United States.  I believe this is because the same people who own the news networks also own the motion picture studios.

The alternative media hasn’t treated my campaign any better.  Instead of focusing on people who can solve problems (me), they chose to conjure all kinds of conspiracy theories.  Everything from the “second shooter” to “inside job” to “new Coke” were discussed in painful detail with little chance to hear the solutions I have to offer.

It is this reason (among others) that I have said in the past to “Tell all of your friends and half of your enemies about my campaign.”  The media won’t mention me, and because I am not a millionaire, I still have to work for a living and cannot campaign 24 hours a day 7 days a week like Obama or Romney.  I can’t give speeches on the floor of the House of Representatives like Ron Paul.  I can’t even find a boot that fits on my head like Vermin Supreme.  I am just one man on a mission to make America better than Belarus.

May 10, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, election, humor, media, politics, satire | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Important Message for North Carolina Democrats

Tuesday is North Carolina’s Primary in North Carolina.  President Obama has assured himself enough delegates to be the Democratic Party’s nominee.  There is a very important issue at stake this Tuesday that needs your vote.  It is on Amendment One.  (The Same-Sex Amendment).  North Carolinians will be voting on this issue regardless of party affiliation.  I am appealing specifically to Democrats for two reasons:

  • Democrats are more likely to vote “No” on Amendment One than Republicans are.  Republicans are going to go to the polls on Tuesday even though Mitt Romney is the presumptive nominee.  Ron Paul is still in the race and his supporters will vote.  The question with Ron Paul supporters is will they be the Republican Ron Paul supporters who agree with him that marriage is between a man and a woman or the Libertarian supporters who believe that the state has no business in marriage whatsoever.  Mitt Romney supporters will show up to the poll because the last thing they want to hear is that their man lost to Ron Paul.  Romney supporters will more than likely vote “yes”.  I support gay marriage.
  • Barack Obama is running unopposed but there are plenty of Democrats who are not happy with Obama’s Republican tendencies.   (His foreign policy, including still being in Afghanistan, his signing into law keeping the Bush tax cuts, signing SIPA into law, further erosion of liberties at airports, etc.)  These are all tell-tale signs that people might think he is a Republican.  I am against all of these things and more.  Send a message to Barack Obama and write in “Ahmnodt Heare” so he will know that you don’t want him to act like a Republican any more.

Remember to vote for “No” and write in “Ahmnodt Heare”.  (Not to be confused with “No to Ahmnodt Heare”.)

May 5, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, editorial, election, foreign policy, humor, issues, Obama, politics, Republicans, satire, write-in | , , , , , , | Comments Off on Important Message for North Carolina Democrats

Marriage #gopdebate

I believe that marriage should be between two or more consenting living adult humans.  This is regardless of gender, race, religion, job, or other discriminating factors.

August 11, 2011 Posted by | debate, Iowa GOP | , | Comments Off on Marriage #gopdebate

Commentary on Recent Political Events

A lot has gone on in the political world in recent weeks.  I’ll explain in a minute, but I have to apologize for a tweet I posted today.

“If you are a Democrat or a Republican, you are mentally incompetent.”

I apologize for those who are mentally incompetent for comparing them to Republicans and Democrats.  It was in poor taste and I will use better judgement in my future tweets unless I am drunk.

Presidential candidate Congresswoman Michele Bachmann was offended when Fox News anchor Chris Wallace asked her if she was a flake.  It was discovered later that Congressman Jeff Flake was offended if he was a Bachmann.

Former Utah Governor Jon Huntsman announced he was running for President as did former Minnesota governor Tim Pawlenty.  Here is advice for those planning to run for President in the future:  If you are going to run for president, do so before the first poll.  Once the polls start coming out.  if you aren’t leading, there’s no point in running.  It’s hard enough to catch up when you’ve been running since the beginning.  I have been running since the day after the 2008 election.  I am speaking from experience.

Gay marriage was passed in New York State.  I support this.

Anthony Weiner resigned after lying about his weiner.  He’ll be back in politics.  He lives in New York,  where people tend to be forgiving of politicians who wander to the dark side. (Especially if he or she is a Democrat.)

Rod Blagojevich was found guilty of 17 of 18 charges.  He could be spending the next 250 years in prison.  I am guessing he will be the happiest person in the world in 2361.

There are 16 1/2 months until Election Day 2012.  I am not being mentioned yet, but I will be soon.  I will be sending another press release to the news networks challenging President Obama to a series of debates.  He should take me up on the challenge and explain his actions to the American people.

June 28, 2011 Posted by | commentary, editorial, humor, politics, Poll, Republicans, satire | , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

My Take on Recent Events

Things are happening all the time.  I will take some time and explain some of the things going on in the world:

Middle East: There have been protests and uprisings in Egypt, Libya, Tunisia, and Yemen.  Contrary to some reports, these protests are not the result of protesters wanting me to be their president.  (Although eleven people from Egypt have visited my site, the most recent visitor was January 27.)

Wisconsin: Both Scott Walker and the unions are missing the point here.  The bottom line is that the children of Wisconsin are not learning the skills they will need as adults.  Any money spent on education is wasted if children aren’t learning.

Charlie Sheen: I am proud to have hopped upon the #teamsheen bandwagon.  My campaign needs an infusion of tiger blood.  An endorsement from someone who preaches winning would be awesome.  I just hope that Charlie Sheen doesn’t run for President.

Gay Marriage: It is ironic that many of the people who oppose that peopke oppose gay marriage on religious grounds when one considers that because homosexuals can not legally marry eacher, they are compelled to live in sin by shacking up.

Gas Prices: Gas prices have risen over 30 cents in the past two weeks mostly due to speculation.  If we all speculate that things will be fine, it will lower gas prices.

I will try to make this a weekly type of posting so that people will have a fresh insight into how I see things.  Feel free to share this post on Facebook and Twitter so others can be educated in current events.

March 7, 2011 Posted by | commentary, editorial, education, foreign policy, humor, satire | , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

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