Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Observation #gopdebate

Rick Santorum is concern about freedom for gays in Iran.  So we should go to war with them.  Good thing he doesn’t think gays in America should have the right to marry or he’d be bombing us too.

August 11, 2011 Posted by | debate, Iowa GOP | , , , | Comments Off on Observation #gopdebate

Long Weekend Ahead

This is going to be a very busy weekend.  Tonight is “Orgies for Abstinence II”.  It doesn’t start until 9:00PM and won’t end until 3:00 in the morning.  My neighbor (the person who filled in the blog entry the day I was in the hospital) is getting married tomorrow at 10:00AM.  I do not have a date for the wedding as of yet.  I am hoping I can bring one of the ladies I am meeting at the orgy to the wedding.

I am supposed to do something on Sunday, but I forgot.  I wrote it down, but I forgot what I wrote it on.  I think it’s either attending a gay rights rally or fishing with a straight client.

If I get home early enough tomorrow and I can come up with something to write without thinking, then I will have an entry tomorrow.  Otherwise, it won’t be until I come home from the rally or the fishing trip.

It’s time to print up the brochures promoting abstinence for tonight’s orgy.  It’s going to be a good weekend.

April 9, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, humor | , , , , | 3 Comments

A look at my Platform – Gay Marriage

Over the next couple weeks, I will take issues from my platform and further explain my positions. Today, I will discuss my views on gay marriage.

I am for gay marriage. Married people have less sex than single people. That will teach them.

It is important to note that the quote above is a hypothesis.  I have no way of telling how much sex married people have since I quit peeping on my neighbors in 2003.  But what I noticed from my studies is that the frequency and the quality of sex my neighbors had diminished significantly within 3 months after being married.

Gay people are not that much different than straight people.  The difference is that with gay people, boys like boys and girls like girls.  But I am pretty sure that if gays were to marry, that the same thing would happen to them with sex.  It’s like Chocolate Pop-Tarts.  The first time you had one, the only thing you can think about is having another Chocolate Pop-Tart.  But after having Chocolate Pop-Tarts day in and day out, you want something different.

Gays should be allowed to marry.  They should be relieved to know that I have no interest in watching.

May 21, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, issues, Platform, satire | , , , , , | 4 Comments

Message to Riksdag: Stop the Blonde Supremacist Movement!

The blond supremacy movement in Sweden has reached epidemic proportions.  I am calling for the Riksdag to stop suppressing the human rights of non-blonds.

Sweden used to be a country of openness and tolerance.  They will welcome you if you are gay.  They will welcome you if you are non-Caucasian.  They will welcome you regardless of your religion.  But if you are not a blond, you will be deported to Denmark before the Swedish Meatball hits the floor.

If the Riksdag does not recognize the rights of hairs of different colors soon, I will do what it takes to get Henrik Lundqvist deported back to Sweden.

December 12, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, editorial, foreign policy, issues, politics, satire, speech | , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

   

%d bloggers like this: