Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Paul Ryan

In case you missed it, Mitt Romney named Majority Whip Paul Ryan to be his running mate.  This is good news for my campaign.  Picking Paul Ryan all but assures that Mitt Romney will nor be elected President.  Don’t get me wrong, Congressman Ryan has all that it takes to be Vice-President.  He can vote the way he’s supposed to vote to break ties in the Senate.  He can go to ribbon-cutting ceremonies and give speeches.  And he can brew coffee.  (Since he would be Romney’s Vice-President, he wouldn’t have to brew coffee often because Romney doesn’t drink coffee.)

There are three reasons why Paul Ryan is a bad choice for Vice-President.  The first is because he it touted as a”Budget Guru”. but the budget he proposed in 2010 promised ten more years of Bush-sized deficits.  One reason why Obama won in 2008 was because he promised we would no longer have Bush-sized deficits.  (He didn’t tell us that his deficits would be much larger.)

The second is because he is hardly what one would call “assassination insurance”.  People want their president around for four years.  The reason why no serious attempt has been put on any president in recent years is because people were too scared of what would happen if the Vice-President became President.  This is why Dan Quayle, Al Gore, Dick Cheney, and Joe Biden have been picked as Vice-President.  As bad as things were with George H.W. Bush, Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and Barack Obama have been, it would have been worse if either of their vice-presidents were to take over.  Joe Biden is why Barack Obama is still alive and is why Hillary Clinton will never be a vice-president.

The third reason is because Paul Ryan is not Albee Thayer.  Albee Thayer is one of the best debaters in the world and would easily beat Ryan and Biden in a Vice-Presidential debate.

I wish the Romney/Ryan ticket luck, but it won’t do much good.  One foot is already in the grave and the other is on a banana peel on a wet marble floor.

August 11, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Albee, commentary, editorial, election, humor, Joe Biden, Obama, Paul Ryan, politics, Romney, satire | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Ahmnodt Heare for You

Any candidate can run for office based on a bunch of “core values.”  These values often get ignored once the candidate gets elected.  George H.W. Bush ran for president with the promise not to raise taxes.  He broke that promise and lost in a bid to get re-elected to Bill Clinton.  George W. Bush ran on the premise of not intervening in the affairs of other countries.  He broke that promise, but was re-elected for two reasons:

  • Americans love war – Americans love blowing things up and bloodshed.  This is especially true when the stuff being blown up is not theirs and blood being shed is that of foreigners.
  • John Kerry scares children – If you are going to go through life looking like Herman Munster, the least you can do is to have a sense of humor so children become less scared.  John Kerry fails at this.  I am a grown-up, but if I was stuck in an elevator with him, I would probably be hyperventilating or crying.

I am running for President.  I am not running as some sort of “macho trip” as some of my critics claim.  I am running because I have a vested interest in saving America.  I want to make America a better place for you and your family.  I want to help you so much that it has become my slogan.  “Ahmnodt Heare for America.  Ahmnodt Heare for You.”

For those new to my campaign, I am running on two major issues, but I have plans for just about every issue.  My major issues are making entertainment affordable by fighting the Cinemafia and saving America from its most dangerous threat – Canadian infiltration  These are my core values.

Thank you for stopping by and reading my blog.  Please tell all of your friends and half of your enemies about my campaign.  Have a good day. 🙂

July 9, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, Canada, commentary, editorial, humor, issues, Platform, politics, satire | , , , , , , | Comments Off on Ahmnodt Heare for You

   

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