Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

An Easter Story

This is not your typical Easter story.  It has nothing to do with bunnies, eggs, chocolate, bonnets, or the resurrection of Jesus.  And although it does involve a family outing, it wasn’t my family with the outing.

I went to the Chinese restaurant for take-out to bring home.  Circumstances prevented me from traveling to see family this year,  so dinner was going to be a quiet day alone.  I couldn’t even do that right.  I ran into my neighbors, who were there for their family Easter Dinner.  They invited me to join them.  I did under the pretense that it was just my neighbors and their two children.  It was his parents, her parents, his mother’s brother, the wife’s brother and sister, their spouses and children.

His family and her family do not get along.  The reason why they had dinner at the Chinese restaurant to begin with was because their families couldn’t agree on who was going to host dinner.  The only restaurants in town open on Easter were the Chinese restaurant and the diner and the diner parking lot was full.

Like any other family disaster, the topic during dinner was politics.  I really didn’t want to do anything near campaigning because it was a holiday and I just wanted some peace of mind after the week I had with the tests and April Fool’s Day and all the other fiascoes I had to deal with.  The husband’s family are Obama supporters, the wife’s family are Romney supporters, and the nosy people dining at the table behind me were Santorum supporters.

It was only a matter of time before I had enough of the bickering and touted why I would be a better candidate than any of those people.  They ridiculed everything I said though all three of their candidates would equate to yet another George W. Bush term (The second straight term served by someone other than George W. Bush.  We were all escorted out by police following the food fight and loud vulgar language.

This weekend and this Easter were disappointing.  I am looking forward to getting back to the grind tomorrow.  Winging it just isn’t working.

 

April 8, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, humor, Obama, Personal Life, politics, satire | , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Following the Constitution

Like most presidential candidates, I believe the president is accountable and the powers of the President should be limited to those granted in the Constitution.  Unlike the other candidates, I plan on fully limiting my powers to those granted in the Constitution.

Sadly, our last few presidents haven’t particularly cared for the Constitution.  Former President Bush called the Constitution a, “God damned piece of paper.”  He also sent and kept our troops in Iraq and Afghanistan without a formal declaration of war being declared by Congress.  Our current president is no better.  He withdrew a few troops from Iraq only to add more troops to Afghanistan.  He also sent troops to Libya on a “NATO mission.”  What a NATO mission basically means is a military action funded by the United States and fought with American troops with a foreigner in charge of military action.

I would withdraw all troops from these areas unless I receive a formal declaration of war from Congress.  Troops would be limited to Canada.  As I have stated before, a war with Canada would only be fought from 9-5 from Monday through Friday.  There would be no war on weekends or holidays.  If I can’t be bothered with crap on weekends and holidays, our troops shouldn’t be bothered either.  This is leadership by example.

I will only serve two terms (unless I am not reelected).    Americans will be encouraged to practice free speech against the Canadian government.  Freedom of religion will be recognized to all Christians (even Baptists.)  The Constitution is the law of the land and I can live with that.

June 21, 2011 Posted by | Afghanistan, Canada, commentary, editorial, foreign policy, humor, Iraq, Obama, satire | , , , , , , | 4 Comments

A Couple of New Ads

Here are a couple of ads I made recently.  Feel free to share with others!

AHMNODT THE FISCAL CONSERVATIVE

AHMNODT ON OBAMA’S MIND


December 8, 2010 Posted by | campaign, humor, Obama, satire | , , , , , | Comments Off on A Couple of New Ads

Follow-Up on Google Image Search

Last week I had mentioned that if you were to use Google’s image search engine to find “2012 Presidential Candidates” that you would not find my picture.  I thought that adding my picture and tagging “2012 Presidential Candidates” would make the picture available.  It has not.  There are pictures you will find.  Some are expected as people have been speculating they were going to run for a while (Barack Obama, Sarah Palin, Newt Gingrich, Mike Huckabee, Ron Paul, etc.)

There are some I didn’t expect.  Mike Pence is one.  Dick Cheney is another.  You can even find a picture of George W. Bush (He isn’t allowed to run) and of Benjamin Harrison (He died over 100 years ago.)  John Ensign’s picture is there despite he having a laundry list of allegations against him.

Then there are pictures of people I don’t know.  There is a picture of a cute chick standing by a clothesline.  Some dude who has the “Enzyte Bob” smile is running for president as well as a goth guy.  Other pictures that hardly resemble 2012 presidential candidates include Gumby, the Joker, and the Sham-Wow guy.  Also running are Lynn Swann, Carrie Prejean, and a grown man wearing diapers.

I will post my picture again.  I am hoping that I will soon be included in the image search for 2012 Presidential Candidates.  I am also hoping that it’s not on page 37 or so buried that only the most bored will bother getting there for my picture.

2012 Presidential Candidates

Ahmnodt Heare

August 16, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, humor, satire | , , , | 5 Comments

An Apology to Canadians

My foreign policy is probably the most controversial part of my platform.  I know that many Canadians find me to be unpopular because of my insistence that I would have pulled the U.S. troops out of the Middle East and into Canada.  I have no qualms with the Canadian people, it is with the Canadian government.

Despite my foreign policy towards Canada, I would not have done something as inhumane as what the United States government has done to Canada – send President Barack Obama to your country for the G-20 S.  As an American, I feel the pain Canadians are going through.  I feel a special sorrow for Toronto Blue Jays fans.  They were deprived of three home games against the Philadelphia Phillies this weekend.  Those games will now be played in Philadelphia instead of Toronto.  I am not angered by this because this benefits a division rival.  I take that back, it bothers me greatly that the Phillies are getting three extra home games.

Once I am elected President, I will make sure that Barack Obama, George W. Bush, and Lady Gaga never infiltrate your country.  All I ask is that Canada takes back William Shatner, Celine Dion, and Justin Bieber so America can once again have untainted entertainment.

On behalf of America throughout the United States and the military bases in the 150 countries we are occupying, please accept my apology.  We will take Barack Obama back by Sunday.

June 25, 2010 Posted by | campaign, Canada, commentary, editorial, humor, Obama, War | , , , , , | 2 Comments

Ahmnodt Heare for You

Any candidate can run for office based on a bunch of “core values.”  These values often get ignored once the candidate gets elected.  George H.W. Bush ran for president with the promise not to raise taxes.  He broke that promise and lost in a bid to get re-elected to Bill Clinton.  George W. Bush ran on the premise of not intervening in the affairs of other countries.  He broke that promise, but was re-elected for two reasons:

  • Americans love war – Americans love blowing things up and bloodshed.  This is especially true when the stuff being blown up is not theirs and blood being shed is that of foreigners.
  • John Kerry scares children – If you are going to go through life looking like Herman Munster, the least you can do is to have a sense of humor so children become less scared.  John Kerry fails at this.  I am a grown-up, but if I was stuck in an elevator with him, I would probably be hyperventilating or crying.

I am running for President.  I am not running as some sort of “macho trip” as some of my critics claim.  I am running because I have a vested interest in saving America.  I want to make America a better place for you and your family.  I want to help you so much that it has become my slogan.  “Ahmnodt Heare for America.  Ahmnodt Heare for You.”

For those new to my campaign, I am running on two major issues, but I have plans for just about every issue.  My major issues are making entertainment affordable by fighting the Cinemafia and saving America from its most dangerous threat – Canadian infiltration  These are my core values.

Thank you for stopping by and reading my blog.  Please tell all of your friends and half of your enemies about my campaign.  Have a good day. 🙂

July 9, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, Canada, commentary, editorial, humor, issues, Platform, politics, satire | , , , , , , | Comments Off on Ahmnodt Heare for You

Obama Hates Canada More than I Ever Could

I have talked about my positions about Canada in the past.   As much as I have a grudge against Canada, even I think what is about to happen is too inhumane and probably violates the Geneva Convention.

President Obama is allowing former President George W. Bush to go to Canada.  The former president is going to give a speech in Calgary on March 17th.  The subject will be the former president.

My heart goes out to all Canadians, especially those in Alberta and the Greater Calgary area.

February 25, 2009 Posted by | Canada, editorial, foreign policy, issues, satire, speech | , , , | 8 Comments

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