Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

For Those in Rio Going to the World Cup Final

I know the Final is not until a week from tomorrow.  But if you are going to that game (or the semi-final games between Argentina and the Netherlands or Germany and Brazil), then all I ask of you is this one little favor:

Fans are encouraged to show this sign to the TV camera. It does not matter which country you are rooting for or where you live.

July 5, 2014 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, humor, satire | , , , , , | Comments Off on For Those in Rio Going to the World Cup Final

Problems Abroad

Ahmnodt Heare is currently campaigning in Paris.  He sent me a text message saying that his laptop is fried because the voltage converter he used for using his laptop in Europe is broken.  He can’t post blog entries or on Facebook because he doesn’t have a smartphone.  He says his phone is really rather dumb.

Ahmnodt was a bit lost when he first arrived in Paris.  The name of the new President of France, Francois Hollande, threw him off and he thought he was in the Netherlands.  Soon, he realized that more people were speaking French than during his last visit to Amsterdam.  He thought the “e” in “Hollande” was just a result of poor European spelling.

I called him at his hotel this morning.  He said that he was able to draw large crowds, but that there were some problems with translation.  People were baffled about the “Cinemafia” because there is no French equivalent.  He thinks they interpreted the word as “SinnerMafia”, which threw them off.

People also thought he was running for the President of France.  They had their election last month and Hollande beat former President Nicolas Sarkozy.  They were perplexed as to why an American candidate would campaign in Paris.  He explained that he was running for President of the Free World and was encouraging the French to write Hillary Clinton and demand that they be allowed to vote for Leader of the Free World.  They seemed to like that idea but didn’t seem willing to vote for an American as Leader of the Free World.

One Parisian walked up to him and said that they would consider voting for him as leader of the Free World if he had New York Red Bulls soccer player Theirry Henry as a running mate.   He said he already had a running mate (Thank you for remembering me, Ahmnodt) but there was an opening in the cabinet for Department of Health and Human Services now that Jack Kevorkian was deceased.

He will be spending the rest of the night in Paris before heading to Berlin tomorrow.  He said that he will now remember that Angela Merkel’s name is not “Andrea”.  It cost him in German popularity the last time.

June 9, 2012 Posted by | campaign, cinemafia, election, foreign policy, humor, issues, Platform, politics, satire | , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Inside the Mind of a Supporter

It is important for me to understand people.  One tool I use to find new supporters is to interview current supporters and find out why they support me.  I can then use this information and reach out to prospective supporters.  This interview is with Scholar Mel.  He is currently an ex-pat living in Germany.  Prior to that, he was a pat living in the United States.

Ahmnodt Heare: Scholar Mel, tell me a bit about yourself.

Scholar Mel: Well I’m a teenage girl in my last year of high school and I’m looking forward to applying to college and deciding where to go in the fall.

Ahmnodt Heare: Why do you support Ahmnodt Heare to be the next president?

Scholar Mel: Because it’s beautiful.

Ahmnodt Heare: I understand you are currently living in Germany, Why is that?

Scholar Mel: No I am not, I am asking you what the number 42 means.

Ahmnodt Heare: The number 42 was the number worn by Jackie Robinson. It is retired from baseball, but it is you being interviewed.

Scholar Mel: That is also off topic, but I’ll let this one slip because I think it is an interesting concept.

Ahmnodt Heare: Do you think Ahmnodt Heare can undo the damage done by recent politicians?

Scholar Mel: Yes, why wouldn’t you be able to?

Ahmnodt Heare: Do you plan to return to America soon?

Scholar Mel: Maybe, would you like to help me?

Ahmnodt Heare: What kind of help do you need?

Scholar Mel: I need help, to help you.

Ahmnodt Heare: I’ll have my people contact you as soon as I have people.

Scholar Mel: That sound like a good plan.

Ahmnodt Heare: How do you think the German government will relate to an Ahmnodt Heare presidency?

Scholar Mel: Good, he is owsom.

Ahmnodt Heare: Thank you for stopping by. You can go back to what you were doing.

Scholar Mel: Up to no good?

Ahmnodt Heare: Probably.

Scholar Mel: What? Do you want it to end?

Ahmnodt Heare: I have to go campaign and stuff.

Scholar Mel: Where are you going?

Ahmnodt Heare: A few towns near me in New Jersey.

Scholar Mel: Isn’t it a little early in the year for snow in New Jersey?

Ahmnodt Heare: Have a good day.

Scholar Mel: You leaving?

Ahmnodt Heare: Yes.

Scholar Mel: Why?

Ahmnodt Heare: Bye.

Scholar Mel: I like you though.

Ahmnodt Heare: Thank you, but I am now running late. Bye!

Scholar Mel: Yay! :D.

He’s a nice fellow, but had a hard time understanding that I had to leave.  I have learned from him (or is it her?) that I can win voters with my beauty.

This ought to win the people over.

This interview was conducted with Cleverbot.

July 30, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, endorsement, humor, satire | , , , , | 1 Comment

Notice for Non-Americans

I am not just running for President of the United States.  I am running for Leader of the Free World.  I do not believe that this election should limited to people of the United States.  It is unfair for Canadians, British, Germans, French, and others to be deprived in voting for Leader of the Free World just because it is for the President of the United States.  It is important that you reach the U.S. Embassy in your country or the Department of State in the United States and demand that you be allowed to vote for leader of the free world!

Below are the addresses for some of the U.S. Embassies not in the United States:

CANADA

U.S. Embassy
490 Sussex Drive, K1N 1G8
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Telephone: (613) 238-5335
Facsimile: (613) 688-3082

FRANCE

The U.S. Embassy

4 avenue Gabriel,

75008 Paris (Place de La Concorde, métro stop Concorde)

Phone: 01-43-12-22-22

Fax:01-42-61-61-40

GERMANY

U.S. Embassy Berlin

Clayallee 170, 14195 Berlin

Tel. (49)(30) 832-9233 (2PM-4PM Mon.-Fri.)

Fax(49)(30) 8305-1215

PHILIPPINES

1201 Roxas Bvld.

Ermita 1000

Manila

Telephone: (632) 301-2000
Fax: (632) 523-1356

UNITED KINGDOM

U.S. Embassy London
24 Grosvenor Square, London W1A 1AE
Telephone: 020-7499-9000

Consular fax: 020-7495-5012

For all other non-US Citizens in the Free World:

U.S. Department of State
2201 C Street NW
Washington, DC 20520

Phone: 1-202-647-4000

Fax: 1-202-261-8579

April 23, 2010 Posted by | campaign, foreign policy, humor | , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

   

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