Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

My Two Cents on Stuff

Swine Flu – The news coverage was more sickening than the disease.  In the end of the month, we’ll get extensive coverage on sunburn as part of “May Sweeps” television networks have this time of year.

Climate Change – I can save the government a lot of money with this statement:  It gets hot in the summer, and changes to cold in the winter.

Arlen Specter – Changed parties but is still unwilling to make Vanna White Day a federal holiday.

Bailouts – Chrysler and GM received bailout funds.  Chrysler has filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy.  GM probably will soon.  I make this pledge that if the government gives me $5 billion, I will never file for bankruptcy.

Barack Obama – He seems to be a good president, but his entire cabinet sucks.  So does Ben Bernanke and the Detroit Lions

May 4, 2009 Posted by | commentary, Obama, satire | , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Speech to the Sons of the Horse-and-Buggy

This is an excerpt of a speech I gave last night:

“The automakers want to be bailed out.  If your ancestors were bailed out, the horse-and-buggy industry would still be thriving.  If you elect me for president, I will retro-bail out the horse-and-buggy industry and let you run the businesses so your ancestors can finally rest in peace.

“Not only will I revive your industry, but I will build the first ever international horse-and-buggy highway with rest stables every ten miles.  I will put every blacksmith and whitesmith to work.  I will dedicate farms for horse-and buggy horses.

“If you elect me, America will transport stuff like never before!”

November 15, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, economy, election, issues, politics, satire, speech | , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

   

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