Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

So Much to Do

I am going to have a lot of catching up to do.  My campaign manager is unavailable until the end of the month because he is busy doing things that are not as important as getting me elected,  I will be more active in social media.  I will try to drive without giving idiot less skilled drivers the middle finger when they drive like a jerk incorrectly.

Setting up campaign stops will be difficult so the plan for this month is to find crowds and speak to them.  This was part of my strategy in the 2008 campaign and it worked until I found a crowd at a funeral home.

The good news is that I have already reached the goal of money raised for the campaign to $0.00.  The bad news is that my good looks and my suave persona are not enough to get ads on television.  My plan is not to use television, newspapers, or tarot card readers as those all cost money and fewer people use those sources than in the past.

There will be no live interaction shows for the foreseeable future because of the constant chaos in my house.  I will send notifications as soon as I find a solution.  Interacting with people is one of my stronger strengths.

If you want to help out the campaign, you can use the #TeamAhmnodt hashtag when you use social media like Facebook or Twitter.  It also fits nicely in the “memo” section of checks.  It will make a great conversation starter.

Thank you for taking the time to read today’s entry.  I am off to watch to news and try to figure out what is going on in the world.

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July 1, 2014 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, humor, politics, satire, Social Networking | , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on So Much to Do

Accessing the Damage

The 2012 election was a disaster.  Not just because Barack Obama won (it would have been a disaster if Mitt Romney, Gary Johnson, Jill Stein, Roseanne Barr, or Vermin Supreme won), it was a disaster because I did not win.  I received fewer votes than in 2008.  I couldn’t even win Saguache County, Colorado this time.

Much of my campaigning in the last month was hampered by my computer crapping out and by Hurricane Sandy.  And while the women at the nudie bar like me as a patron, I could not parlay that into them campaigning for me or for them getting out to vote.

The “Voter ID” laws also caused damage to my voting base.  Deceased people and zombies tend not to carry identification on their persons because they generally don’t need identification.Neither demographic drives so they don’t need to get a drivers’ licence.

My campaign’s exposure to the mainstream was also sorely lacking.  I received no television coverage other than the occasional apolitical tweet read on television.

My goal is to run another penniless campaign in 2016.  But if I can’t get any television exposure or trend on Twitter, then I will spend some money on the campaign.  There might even be a PayPal account for donations.  (I hate asking for money.)

There will be goals set soon and I will post them once I figure out how I am going to win in 2016.

November 7, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, humor, media, Obama, Romney, satire | , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

2011 – A Look Back (Goals)

I had high hopes for 2011.  Not only did I not reach any of the goals I had set for the campaign, I did not get high.  Below are the goals I had set for 2011:2011 – 151475 total hits (415.00 hits/day) [projected]

Below are my goals I had set for the campaign for 2011.

  1. Averaging 500 unique hits per day on this website.
  2. 1,000,000  results when people search for “Ahmnodt Heare” on Google.  (we are currently at 17,600)
  3. Enough write-in votes in upcoming 2012 primaries (Democratic and Republican).
  4. At least 1,000 blogs mentioning Ahmnodt Heare and the campaign.
  5. An “Ahmnodt Girl” video.
  6. At least five national television appearances (broadcast or cable).
  7. One scandal involving a multitude of women.  (More people are talking about Tiger Woods now than ever before!)
Not only did the number of hits get nowhere 500 a day, they went down for 2011.  I blame this on the CineMafia and America’s hidden love affair for all things Atlanta Falcons.  While I am nowhere near a million results when searching on Google, I am approaching 30,000 when the safe filter is off.  (The number dwindles to 47 when using the safe filter.)  My worst target was hoping 1,000 blogs would write something about my campaign.  It turns out that only 10 blogs mentioned me (9 of which were in the comments section after I had left a comment.)
I am optimistic that 2012 will be the year that someone steps up and does the “Ahmnodt Girl” video.  While I didn’t have an actual appearance, my tweets did.  (One on MSNBC and two on local TV.)  I couldn’t get myself in a scandal no matter how hard I tried.  My scandal plans failed, everything from sending tweets of myself to writing racist newsletters fell upon deaf eyes and ears.  Even the “running into the ladies’ locker room naked” at the gym backfired as there were no women in there when I did it.
My resolution for 2012 is simple:  Learn from my mistakes.  I will learn from my mistakes as soon as I learn what the mistakes I made were.

December 26, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, humor, politics, satire | , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Best Blog Day Ever!

I have two blogs and today both blogs accomplished major milestones.  My personal blog, Formulated Randomness, finished the “30 Day Music Challenge.”  Granted, it wasn’t 30 days in a row (there was a three-day gap between days 1 and 2, but days 2 through 30 were all on consecutive days.)

The bigger accomplishment was with this blog.  Today I had my 100,000th web hit.  (It would have been closer to 500,000, but WordPress doesn’t count the times I view the website.)

These accomplishments show that I can accomplish two major milestones in one day.  No other presidential candidate can claim that.  Thank all of you for your continued support and keep up the good fight!

April 4, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, satire | , , , | 8 Comments

I’m posting Every Day in 2011!

I’ve decided I want to blog more. Rather than just thinking about doing it, I’m starting right now.  I will be posting on this blog once a day / once a week for all of 2011.

I know it won’t be easy, but it might be fun, inspiring, awesome and wonderful. Therefore I’m promising to make use of The DailyPost, and the community of other bloggers with similiar goals, to help me along the way, including asking for help when I need it and encouraging others when I can.

If you already read my blog, I hope you’ll encourage me with comments and likes, and good will along the way.

Signed,

Ahmnodt Heare

Independent Write-in Candidate for President

December 31, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt | , , , , | 2 Comments

Update on Goals

I had listed a list of goals I wanted to accomplish by the end of 2010.  Despite the hard work that some of my supporters and I have done over the last six months, none of these goals are on target of being met.  Below are the goals I had mentioned in the beginning of the year:

2008 – 11752 total hits (36.725 hits/day)

2009 – 45062 total hits (123.45 hits/day)

2010 – 151475 total hits (415.00 hits/day) [projected]

Below are my goals for the campaign for 2010.  I have raised the bar as high as I could without throwing out my shoulder.

  • Averaging 500 unique hits per day on this website.
  • 1,000,000  results when people search for “Ahmnodt Heare” on Google.  (we are currently at 17,600)
  • Enough write-in votes in upcoming primaries (Democratic and Republican).
  • At least 1,000 blogs mentioning Ahmnodt Heare and the campaign.
  • An “Ahmnodt Girl” video.
  • At least five national television appearances (broadcast or cable).
  • One scandal involving a multitude of women.  (More people are talking about Tiger Woods now than ever before!)
  • Below is the progress (or lack of) of each of the goals:

    1. Averaging 500 unique hits per day on this website. – I missed this mark by miles.  May was my second worst month since before the 2008 Elections.  I am currently averaging only 87.3 hits per day and averaged only 65 hits in May.  The good news is that June was my best month thus far in 2010 and I averaged 101 hits per day and 150 hits per day over the last week.  I will need to average 428.5 hits per day for the rest of the year to meet this goal.  Please tell all of your friends and half of your enemies about my campaign and this website!

    2. 1,000,000  results when people search for “Ahmnodt Heare” on Google.  (we are currently at 17,600) The good news that this has almost doubled since January and I am now at 30,500 results.  The bad news is that I am nowhere near 1 million.  I’m going to need people to do #4.

    3. Enough ‘write-in’ votes in upcoming primaries (Democratic and Republican) – I am going to have to scratch this.  Many of my supporters are independents.  While supporters may be liberal or conservative, they are smart enough not to support the two parties who claim to support their ideas.

    4. At least 1,000 blogs mentioning Ahmnodt Heare and the campaign – To the best of my knowledge, there has been one blog mentioning me and zero blogs mentioning my campaign.  I will make a deal – If you dedicate a blog entry to me and my campaign, I will dedicate a blog entry to your blog and your mission.

    5. An “Ahmnodt Girl” video. – Here is an open invitation for the ladies who got it to flaunt it for a good cause.  Even if you don’t got it, you can flaunt it for a good cause.

    6. At least five national television appearances (broadcast or cable). – While I remain optimistic that this will eventually happen, I am not too sure it will be in 2010.  Requests to Rachel Maddow, Diane Sawyer, and Jim Cantore have yet to be answered.  I was to have an ad run on a cable public access show in Bend, Oregon, but that show was canceled before the ad got to air.

    7. One scandal involving a multitude of women.  (More people are talking about Tiger Woods now than ever before!) – Did I ever pick a bad time to become monogamous!  I will sacrifice monogamy for the good of the campaign.  If you’re 18, female, and showered within the last two days, then send me an e-mail.

    There is much that needs to be done, but I will need your help (Especially with #7!).  Together, we can shake up “politics as usual.”

    July 1, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, humor, satire, write-in | , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

    A Rather Large Milestone (1000)

    This is my 1,000th post.  A lot has happened to this country since my first blog entry.  I have also changed in the last two years.

    Some of you are wondering how I can post 1,000 entries in less than 1,000 days.  This is especially true for those who remember the infamous summer of 2008 when I had almost no internet access.  It’s simple:  There were a lot of debates in 2008.  Except for the first Democratic debate after I started blogging debates in real-time as they were being asked so I didn’t look so polished and rehearsed.  Starting with this debate, everything is listed with the most recent question or closing statement first, followed by the questions in opposite order from which they were asked.

    The blog started out as me talking about the issues.  One of the first things I have learned is that people want more than issues from their presidential candidate.  People want to see if the candidate relates to them on a personal level.  “Does he or she watch ‘American Idol’?”  “How does the candidate feel about Lady Gaga?”  “Would he mud-wrestle Betty White for a dollar?”  The questions Americans really care about aren’t always the ones most important to the future of our country.

    I have also taken a role as an activist.  It is important to lead by example.  This gives credibility and shows voters you’re not just another clueless politician.

    Another lesson learned is that people don’t always learn their mistakes until it is too late.  I spent a good portion of November consoling people who had voted for Barack Obama instead of voting for me.  There a few mistakes I made in 2008 that I vow not to make in 2012.

    I look back and I realize that the goal isn’t to have 1,000 or 5,000 posts.  The goal is to have people read the posts and hope that my writing is compelling enough that they will vote for me in 2012.  There will be changes to the world and to this blog as everything brings about change (except possibly President Obama, who seems to be satisfied with the status quo.)

    Thank you for your continued support.  It is your support that has kept my campaign alive and this blog of information going.  Together, we will succeed.

    May 2, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, humor, satire | , , , , , | 6 Comments

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