Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

2011 – A Look Back (Goals)

I had high hopes for 2011.  Not only did I not reach any of the goals I had set for the campaign, I did not get high.  Below are the goals I had set for 2011:2011 – 151475 total hits (415.00 hits/day) [projected]

Below are my goals I had set for the campaign for 2011.

  1. Averaging 500 unique hits per day on this website.
  2. 1,000,000  results when people search for “Ahmnodt Heare” on Google.  (we are currently at 17,600)
  3. Enough write-in votes in upcoming 2012 primaries (Democratic and Republican).
  4. At least 1,000 blogs mentioning Ahmnodt Heare and the campaign.
  5. An “Ahmnodt Girl” video.
  6. At least five national television appearances (broadcast or cable).
  7. One scandal involving a multitude of women.  (More people are talking about Tiger Woods now than ever before!)
Not only did the number of hits get nowhere 500 a day, they went down for 2011.  I blame this on the CineMafia and America’s hidden love affair for all things Atlanta Falcons.  While I am nowhere near a million results when searching on Google, I am approaching 30,000 when the safe filter is off.  (The number dwindles to 47 when using the safe filter.)  My worst target was hoping 1,000 blogs would write something about my campaign.  It turns out that only 10 blogs mentioned me (9 of which were in the comments section after I had left a comment.)
I am optimistic that 2012 will be the year that someone steps up and does the “Ahmnodt Girl” video.  While I didn’t have an actual appearance, my tweets did.  (One on MSNBC and two on local TV.)  I couldn’t get myself in a scandal no matter how hard I tried.  My scandal plans failed, everything from sending tweets of myself to writing racist newsletters fell upon deaf eyes and ears.  Even the “running into the ladies’ locker room naked” at the gym backfired as there were no women in there when I did it.
My resolution for 2012 is simple:  Learn from my mistakes.  I will learn from my mistakes as soon as I learn what the mistakes I made were.

December 26, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, humor, politics, satire | , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Campaign Goals for 2011

2008 – 11752 total hits (36.725 hits/day)

2009 – 45062 total hits (123.45 hits/day)

2010- 35037 total hits (95.99 hits/day)

2011 – 151475 total hits (415.00 hits/day) [projected]

Below are my goals for the campaign for 2011.  I have raised the bar as high as I could without throwing out my shoulder.

  1. Averaging 500 unique hits per day on this website.
  2. 1,000,000  results when people search for “Ahmnodt Heare” on Google.  (we are currently at 17,600)
  3. Enough write-in votes in upcoming 2012 primaries (Democratic and Republican).
  4. At least 1,000 blogs mentioning Ahmnodt Heare and the campaign.
  5. An “Ahmnodt Girl” video.
  6. At least five national television appearances (broadcast or cable).
  7. One scandal involving a multitude of women.  (More people are talking about Tiger Woods now than ever before!)

.

With your continued help and support, “Ahmnodt Heare” will soon be as common a household name as Lysol.  Think of me as the Lysol of bad ideas.  I kill them when presented to me like Lysol kills germs as soon as contact is made.  Tell two friends today about my campaign.  Thank you.

January 1, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, satire | , , , , , | 5 Comments

   

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