Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

SOPA and the Cinemafia

Stop Online Piracy Act

Many websites are blacking out today, meaning that websites like Wikipedia cannot be accessed.  Many blogs are not offering their usual content but are showing an image like this and explaining why they take the stand that they do.  I decided to comment because fighting SOPA, PIPA,  (and similar legislation) is why I decided to run for President in the first place.

I saw the actions the Cinemafia were taking during my days as a movie theater manager.  I took action back then to try to make going to the movies more affordable while maintaining a profit for the theater.  (I realized it was important to make a profit because I like getting paid.)  I was soon fired because I took these actions without approval from the Cinemafia.

The Cinemafia is supporting SOPA because many people are smart enough not to pay for the crap they have spewed for the last 10 years.  People are tired of paying more and more for lesser quality entertainment.  America is waking up and SOPA is the sleeping pill the Cinemafia wants you to take.

But their sleeping pill has side effects.  It causes anxiety and sleeplessness because you would soon be extremely limited in what you can post on Facebook, MySpace, Google+, or your blog.  Instead of showing the damage the Cinemafia is causing, I will have to describe it and hope people take my word for it.

Click the photo to find out more information.  The site will tell you how to contact your senators and your congressperson.  Tell them Ahmnodt Heare sent you and that he is on to them!

January 18, 2012 Posted by | campaign, commentary, editorial, media, politics, satire, Social Networking | , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Defining “Ahmnodt” (Play Along at Home)

The running joke these days is telling somebody to Google “Santorum.”  The first unsponsored link is from a website called “SpreadingSantorum.Org”.  They define the term “Santorum” as such:

Santorum 1. The frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex. 2. Senator Rick Santorum.

I was thinking that before the Cinemafia does a similar thing with my name, we can pool our noodles together and come up with a clever definition for “ahmnodt”.    It doesn’t have to be flattering, but it shouldn’t be as tasteless as how “Santorum” is defined.  (Especially since “Ahmnodt” is my name and I don’t want to go spend the money in the courts to change it.

This post will be a sticky until I return from my campaign trip a week from Monday.  Feel free to place your definition in the “comments” section.  I’ll figure out a plan on what to do with the definitions when I return.

There will be daily summaries of my campaign events every day.  I might even add a definition or two to consider.  Keep the ideas coming!

January 6, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, humor, satire | , , , , | 5 Comments

2012 (You Heard It Here First)

2012 will be a worse year than 2011 for many people.  It can be a great year for you if you have a little insight.  I shall try my best to provide that impact.  I know who will win the general election in 2012, but will not post it because I still want you to go vote (for me) on Election Day.

Unemployment will rise again in 2012.  Now is a good time to start planning a self-proprietorship.  I am the only candidate with a viable jobs program, but even my plan will take some time before the unemployed will reap the benefits of having a job.

Crime will increase.  This is not because we are becoming bad people, but because almost everything will be a crime.  In fact, you no longer have to be charged with a crime to be detained.  You could someday be arrested for reading this blog.  (Don’t worry, I will pardon you for reading this blog once I take office.)

Super Bowl XLVI – If you ignore my predictions throughout the year on my other blog as well as the 2011 season predictions, then you are for the most part better off.  I will stand by my prediction of a Detroit Lions – Baltimore Ravens Super Bowl.

More evidence will surface of the claims I have made against the Cinemafia and Canadian spy Justin Bieber.  The campaign teams of the candidates for president will scour through this blog for ideas to boost their campaign chances.  (And I will expose them for the copycats that they are.)

This has nothing to do with predictions, but I need a place to say this.  Gooogling “Ahmnodt” isn’t nearly as offensive as Googling “Santorum.” That, and I am less offensive than him as well.

Have a happy, safe, prosperous, (insert perky adjective here) New Year!

January 4, 2012 Posted by | commentary, editorial, election, humor, politics, satire | , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on 2012 (You Heard It Here First)

2011 – A Look Back (Goals)

I had high hopes for 2011.  Not only did I not reach any of the goals I had set for the campaign, I did not get high.  Below are the goals I had set for 2011:2011 – 151475 total hits (415.00 hits/day) [projected]

Below are my goals I had set for the campaign for 2011.

  1. Averaging 500 unique hits per day on this website.
  2. 1,000,000  results when people search for “Ahmnodt Heare” on Google.  (we are currently at 17,600)
  3. Enough write-in votes in upcoming 2012 primaries (Democratic and Republican).
  4. At least 1,000 blogs mentioning Ahmnodt Heare and the campaign.
  5. An “Ahmnodt Girl” video.
  6. At least five national television appearances (broadcast or cable).
  7. One scandal involving a multitude of women.  (More people are talking about Tiger Woods now than ever before!)
Not only did the number of hits get nowhere 500 a day, they went down for 2011.  I blame this on the CineMafia and America’s hidden love affair for all things Atlanta Falcons.  While I am nowhere near a million results when searching on Google, I am approaching 30,000 when the safe filter is off.  (The number dwindles to 47 when using the safe filter.)  My worst target was hoping 1,000 blogs would write something about my campaign.  It turns out that only 10 blogs mentioned me (9 of which were in the comments section after I had left a comment.)
I am optimistic that 2012 will be the year that someone steps up and does the “Ahmnodt Girl” video.  While I didn’t have an actual appearance, my tweets did.  (One on MSNBC and two on local TV.)  I couldn’t get myself in a scandal no matter how hard I tried.  My scandal plans failed, everything from sending tweets of myself to writing racist newsletters fell upon deaf eyes and ears.  Even the “running into the ladies’ locker room naked” at the gym backfired as there were no women in there when I did it.
My resolution for 2012 is simple:  Learn from my mistakes.  I will learn from my mistakes as soon as I learn what the mistakes I made were.

December 26, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, humor, politics, satire | , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Social Network Campaign

There are two years to go until the Presidential Election.  You might have been looking for a way to discuss my campaign with others on your social network, but have been too shy or busy to do so.  Many people don’t like to discuss politics, and that’s OK because I am not really a politician.  I am just an ordinary American who wants to make America a better place to live.

You can be a spark plug to the campaign without saying a word.  You can get the word out without leaving your chair.  You can make a difference with just a couple of clicks of your mouse.

  • Right-click the image on top of this post and choose “save image as” and name it “googleahmnodtheare”.
  • Go to your favorite social network website.
  • Click on your photos.
  • Click “add more photos”.
  • Upload “googleahmnodtheare” to your photos.
  • Click “Make Profile Picture”.

It looks like a lot of steps, but each step is easy and only takes a couple of seconds.  You will be making a statement without handing out pamphlets, going door-to-door, or any of the other things people hate about campaigning.  Soon everybody will will have the profile picture and the buzz will be picked up by the media.

November 1, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, satire, Social Networking | , , , , | 2 Comments

Searching for the Next President

Searching for “Ahmnodt Heare” on Google has become much more difficult.  At One time, there were almost 40,000 results when searching for me on Google.  The result as of this moment has been lowered to 5,630.

As my presidential campaign becomes more popular, efforts are being made to silence my campaign.

Searching for “Ahmnodt is still over 25,000 results.  But with only 5,630 of them being “Ahmnodt Heare”, the rest must be for those looking for either the famoust Bulgarian sculptor Ahmnodt Fukinov or the famous woman Ahmnodt There.

If you are a blogger, I am asking for you to blog about me in one of your next entries.  Whether you intend to vote for me or not, American need to know about me.  This is especially important to do if you don’t support me.  If people don’t read about your negative comments about my becoming president, people will be more compelled to vote for me.  Don’t forget to add the “Ahmnodt Heare” tag to your blog entry.

October 2, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, humor, satire | , , , , , | Comments Off on Searching for the Next President

Google Image Search

Out of curiosity, I searched for “2012 Presidential Candidates” using Google’s image search.  I figured I would have been on there somewhere.  I searched the first page, but there were no pictures of me or anything relating to my campaign.

I do not know if this is because I haven’t used “2012 Presidential Candidates” as a tag of if I am systematically being ignored by search engine programmers.  I will use the tag for this post and include my picture for the image search:

Ahmnodt Heare

I have to admit that most of the people who found this site were looking for something besides a presidential candidate.  Most people found my site looking for one of the five things:  Julian Beever drawings, Billy Mays, Strawberries, Sea Monkeys, or most recently, Steven Slater.

I don’t always blog about politics because America wants a president who is well-rounded and has multiple interests.  America wants somebody who can relate to him or her at a personal level. “You like ‘Wheel of Fortune’?  Me too!”

For those who found me because you are looking for a presidential candidate, Welcome!  Thank you for stopping by.  You can find out more about me and what I stand for by clicking the tabs on the top.

I will post any findings I have about this experiment soon.

August 11, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, humor, satire | , , , | 3 Comments

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