Government Shutdown
The way President Obama is handling the “government shutdown” is but another example of why I would have been a better president than him. Below are some reasons why:
- Only “Non-essential” services are shut down. The question isn’t what is essential but who decides what is essential. I would have shut down the IRS, but not because everybody hates it. I would shut it down to send a message to Congress that neither they nor I will get paid as long as there is a shutdown because there is no revenue being collected.
- I’d keep the national parks open because people need to get out more. By the time this shutdown is over, it will be too cold to enjoy the parks.
- The NSA is working as normal. Nobody at the NSA really likes me (except the guy in the corner cubicle who always like to start a ruckus.)
- I’d not only close the Bureau of Wild Horse and Burro closed during the shutdown, I’d close it permanently. I hope the five people who own a wild horse or a burro understand that the 300,000,000 Americans who don’t own one feel that a federal agency isn’t really necessary.
If you cannot afford a prostate exam, the TSA will perform one for you at no additional charge if you plan on flying on an airplane.
UPDATE: The move has been delayed by a week. The official activity will return on Columbus Day. (Thanksgiving Day in Canada)
About
Ahmnodt Heare is a fictional character running a real campaign. He is an Independent candidate for President of the United States. His views on solving America’s problems is different than the ideas being offered by any Republican or Democratic candidate.
In the upcoming days, he will give a daily account of his political activities, campaigns, and other behind the scene activities like no other candidate ever has.
The purpose of this blog is to showing the absurdity of Ahmnodt Heare’s platform and show that the two major parties are equally absurd (especially at the federal level.)
If you are fed up with the two-party duopoly, then feel free to write in “Ahmnodt Heare” for the office of your choosing.
On Election Day, tell your fellow Americans, “Ahmnodt Heare!”
Ahmnodt Heare for America. Ahmnodt Heare for You.
Ahmnodt Heare for President 
Back in Motion
After six months of an endless array of delays, I am finally back on track and I can finally resume campaigning (I think). I have finally settled into my home in Delaware and can get back to whatever it is I do.
My first campaign stop is next Monday in Georgetown, Delaware. My campaign manager is currently looking at a good place to campaign. It shouldn’t be too hard because it is a small town. But the way this year has gone, the only sure thing is that there is no sure thing.
I have received some harsh criticism for my comments about how I would have handled the government shutdown. Contrary to rumors, i did not lock my parents in the closet all night. I let them out in time to watch the 11:00 news. Don’t worry though. When we go through this again in three months, I will continue to say I would do a better job. If I didn’t think I could do a better job, then there would be no point in running for President.
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October 17, 2013 Posted by Ahmnodt Heare | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, humor, politics, satire | critics, Delaware, Georgetown, government shutdown, parents | Comments Off on Back in Motion