Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Back in Motion

After six months of an endless array of delays, I am finally back on track and I can finally resume campaigning (I think).   I have finally settled into my home in Delaware and can get back to whatever it is I do.

My first campaign stop is next Monday in Georgetown, Delaware.  My campaign manager is currently looking at a good place to campaign.  It shouldn’t be too hard because it is a small town.  But the way this year has gone, the only sure thing is that there is no sure thing.

I have received some harsh criticism for my comments about how I would have handled the government shutdown.  Contrary to rumors, i did not lock my parents in the closet all night.  I let them out in time to watch the 11:00 news.  Don’t worry though. When we go through this again in three months, I will continue to say I would do a better job.  If I didn’t think I could do a better job, then there would be no point in running for President.

October 17, 2013 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, humor, politics, satire | , , , , | Comments Off on Back in Motion

Government Shutdown

The way President Obama is handling the “government shutdown” is but another example of why I would have been a better president than him.  Below are some reasons why:

  • Only “Non-essential” services are shut down.  The question isn’t what is essential but who decides what is essential.  I would have shut down the IRS, but not because everybody hates it.  I would shut it down to send a message to Congress that neither they nor I will get paid as long as there is a shutdown because there is no revenue being collected.
  • I’d keep the national parks open because people need to get out more.  By  the time this shutdown is over, it will be too cold to enjoy the parks.
  • The NSA is working as normal.  Nobody at the NSA really likes me (except the guy in the corner cubicle who always like to start a ruckus.)
  • I’d not only close the Bureau of Wild Horse and Burro closed during the shutdown, I’d close it permanently.  I hope the five people who own a wild horse or a burro understand that the 300,000,000 Americans who don’t own one feel that a federal agency isn’t really necessary.

If you cannot afford a prostate exam, the TSA will perform one for you at no additional charge if you plan on flying on an airplane.

UPDATE: The move has been delayed by a week.  The official activity will return on Columbus Day.  (Thanksgiving Day in Canada)

October 1, 2013 Posted by | Ahmnodt, humor, politics, satire | , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

   

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