Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Punxsutawney Trip Canceled

I will not be making my annual trip to Punxsutawney, PA this year.  I had been making the trip the last couple of years since I watched the Groundhog Day ceremony on TV in 2009.  It was then that I noticed that the sky was cloudy and dark.  There should have been no way Punxsutawney Phil would have seen his shadow.  He saw it.  He saw his shadow because of all of the lights that were shining on him.  Those lights came from television cameras.  The media was to blame for six more weeks of winter in 2009.

2010 – I had to do something about this.  I made the trip to Punxsutawney and spent the night before at a local hotel.  My plan was to get there at about 6:30AM and get there before sunrise.  The plan included walking up to the cameras and filtering the lights enough to block the shadow caused by lights but not so much that people watching at home couldn’t see the groundhog.  The only problem was that I was unable to get to the cameras because there were over 10,000 people in attendance.  Phil ended up seeing his shadow.  A few weeks later, my town was hit with 2 1/2 feet of snow.

Shoveling 31" of snow made it hard to place the snow and the banks were over 7 feet high.

Last year I had everything planned perfectly.  I arrived at 3:30AM to a sparse park.  I had the filters for the lights and also brought pepper spray to spray in the groundhog’s eyes.  As I was making my move, I was approached by security.  They asked what I was doing.  I told them I was walking around and trying to get a better view.  They let me go but kept an eye on me.  Fortunately, Phil did not see his shadow.

There are a few reasons why I am not going this year.  The first reason is that winter has been mild this year with little snow.  This is a concern because I am walking distance to a ski resort.  The tourists who come here to ski drive me nuts, but they’re a necessary evil as more skiers equals more money for the town and fewer taxes I’ll have to pay next year.  The second reason is the campaign.  I will be in eastern Pennsylvania on the 1st and Connecticut on the 3rd.  Punxsutawney is too far out of the way.  Gas prices are too high for me to go anywhere but a straight line.

My apologies to anyone who had planned on meeting me this year in Punxsutawney.  It’s not a good year for the trip, but I will more than likely go in 2013.  (Hopefully as President of the United States.)

January 30, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, humor, satire | , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

How Man Controls the Weather

I did not believe that man controled the weather.  I had always thought that rain came because a cloud came overhead and released water.  I had thought that the four seasons came every year at the same time.

I learned something disturbing today while watching Punxsutawney Phil come out of his hole.  It was a cloudy morning.  It was too cloudy for me to see my shadow, let alone Phil’s.  The TV cameras were aimed at Phil.  The cameras came with bright lights and they were all aimed at Phil.  Phil suddenly had a shadow and it was almost time for him to predict the weather.  I tried to get close enough to Phil to pepper-spray his eyes so he couldn’t see his shadow.  However, by the time I got close enough, he had already seen his shadow.

We would have had an early spring if it wasn’t for the television crews and their bright lights.  The mainstream media has robbed us of an early spring.  If these people love winter so much, then we can dump snow on their front door.  They can have their winter.  I want my spring.

It’s now 11:15AM Eastern and I have been up for 29 hours.  I was ready for bed hours ago, but I had to get this incident off my chest.

February 2, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, change, commentary, environment, issues, media, Platform, satire | , , , , , , | Comments Off on How Man Controls the Weather

Off to Punxsutawney!

I will be driving to Punxsutawney, PA after the Super Bowl. I see it as an opportunity to see a bunch of people and to campaign my global warming message.  The temperature will be in the upper twenties and dry.

I should arrive in Punxsutawney by 4:00AM.  I will stop at 3AM and give President Obama a call and make sure he is ready for the next crisis.  When I arrive in the Punxsutawney area, I will look for a hotel room for after the event.  I will head to Barclay Square once the room is booked.   I will converse with the people and telling them about my global warming ideas.

I will also bring pepper spray and spray Phil the Groundhog’s eyes before he gets to see his shadow.  I have had enough of winter for this year.

February 1, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, environment, issues, Platform, satire | , , , , | 2 Comments

   

%d bloggers like this: