2011 – The Debacle (July – September)
The Cinemafia was in full force in July. Not only did they hack my computer again, but they jammed my podcasts and sent me hate mail. There wasn’t a good movie in July either.
August was more productive, but not productive enough to take the suck out of 2011. I finally found a running mate that isn’t under 35, a convict, or Canadian. I also became the first presidential candidate to present an earthquake prevention plan. I also live-blogged one of the debates among the Republicans.
September was a bad month. I had quit campaigning, only to resume when I saw America getting worse with none of the candidates offering any good ideas. I did get an enthusiastic demographic when I resumed my campaign. Another month, another debate I wasn’t invited to.
Heat, Hacking, and Other Recent News
There’s been a lot of news recently. Not all of it is good, but I have an attack plan.
Heat Wave – The eastern 2/3 of the United States is currently under a dangerous heat wave. In the past, i would have said now is a good time to fight global warming. After consulting meteorologists, people who work outdoors, and my psychic, I have determined that the best time to fight global warming is before it gets hot. Likewise, the best time to encourage global warming is before it gets cold.
Hacking – Ruppert and James Murdoch of NewsCorp faced a parliamentary committee (It’s like a Congressional committee, except it has people with British accents). Hacking is against my policy as is wiretapping. Video cameras would only be used on the hottest women. Nobody wants to see me wolf down a box of Ring Dings.
Migraines – Michele Bachmann has them. Migraines should not be the reason why you don’t vote for her. You shouldn’t vote for her because you are voting for me.
Debt Ceiling – I would lower it. They say we can’t pay the national debt off. That doesn’t mean wh shouldn’t at least try. We need to find out why government is spending so much money and start pinching pennies. It shouldn’t cost $3.4 trillion to run the United States.
Adding Security Features
I have decided to add encryption features on my computer, my cell phone, and my Speak and Spell. I can not afford another episode like the hacking episode last May. My campaign continues to grow and my opponents are now beginning to notice. While I don’t have the NSA to encrypt my communications like one of my opponents, I will have top-notch encryption.
The encryption will work like this:
If I type something like:
My campaign schedule will bring me to Kansas, Michigan, and Oregon.
The encryption will look like this:
jghgfhgghfghjgahmnodtheareisastudnmmnbcvxfgfhj
I will continue to step up and meet the challenges of my opponents and of America. I thank you for your continued support.
You Can’t Please Them All
I was looking for “Ahmnodt Heare” through a search engine when I stumbled upon this link:
http://www.hackerforums.org/2008/05/ahmnodt-heare-blames-hackers-for-his-bad-campaign.html
I know my campaign was not the best, but instead of writing about it in your blog, feel free to write about it here. Please offer advice you may have to make the 2012 campaign a success.
Now Sarah Palin is Copying Me
The McCain campaign claimed yesterday that VP candidate Sarah Palin’s e-mail was hacked into. I don’t know how to break it to them, but it happened to me first.
Whether it’s people hacking Palin’s computer or Obama campaigning through Europe, the two parties have shown that they are unoriginal and that neither would have a successful campaign if they didn’t plagiarize from me.
Ahmnodt Heare for America. Ahmnodt Heare for You. and Ahmnodt Original,
Vote for the Originator
Most people would rather have an original painting than a lithograph of that painting. Many people prefer the original artist singing a song over cover versions. I would guess that people would rather vote for the originator of good ideas over someone who copies those ideas. Below is a history of ideas started by me that have been taken by others since I first ran in 2008:
I was hoping 2012 would be different. But it has already started. It was reported that Democratic candidate for President Vermin Supreme stole a portion of my energy plan. (The portion about gerbil turbines. (He claimed he thought of it in 2008, but I didn’t hear of it then.)
The latest was a video (That was falsely labeled as Ron Paul supporters) that was negative about Jon Huntsman was supposedly put out by the Huntsman campaign. I put out an anti-Ahmnodt Heare video first.
If you want a lithograph or a cover song, I am not your candidate. (But feel free to vote for me anyway.) If you are insistent on the original, then the only candidate worthy of your vote is the Original Ahmnodt Heare.
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January 11, 2012 Posted by Ahmnodt Heare | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, election, humor, satire | birth certficate, Canada, cemeteries, copycats, cover song, Europe, hacking, lithograph, morgues, poverty, tax plan, trendsetter, War on Poverty | 5 Comments