Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

I Should Have Ran for Congress

This has been a busy week thus far.  It’s 8:30PM and I just finished working for the day after starting at 7:00AM all week.  This is the first day this week I was able to finish before 10:00PM.  I am working more this week because I plan on taking two weeks off for vacation and campaigning starting Friday night.

Two weeks is a lot of time to be away from work, especially when you run your own business.  But the time off I will be taking is minuscule compared to what Congress takes off every year.  They are currently on a five-week vacation and won’t return to work until after Labor Day.  They also get a nice long vacation for Christmas/New Year’s and for Easter.  I think they’re trying to take off for Spring Break next year.  We can spend a week hangin’ with the homies John Boehner and Harry Reid.

The last time I had five weeks off was between my sophomore and junior years of high school.  I worked during my summer vacations after that:  First as a paperboy during after my junior year then as a pool boy after my senior year.  The pool boy job was interesting as I spent little time cleaning the pool for the Johnson’s when Mr. Johnson was working.  I spent more time picking up things around the pool under Mrs. Johnson’s constant supervision.  She always looked thirsty, and I told her she should be inside and cool off.  but she’d stay outside.

If I somehow lose the presidential election this November (90 days remaining), I might run for Congress in 2014.  I’ll make more money and work fewer hours.  It will be a win-win situation.  The best part is that I can run for President in 2016.

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August 8, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, election, humor, Personal Life, politics, satire | , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Ahmnodt Running for Senate

It has come to my attention that some supporters in Massachusetts were going to write my name in for Senator.  I tried to tell them I was not interested, but they said they were going to write my name in anyway.

I appreciate the offer, but I do not really want the job.  This scares me because my not wanting the job might drive people to vote for me so I end up winning.  Let’s look at the three candidates running in Tuesday’s special election:

Republican – Scott Brown:  His claim to fame was posing for Cosmopolitan magazine wearing tightie whities.  He parlayed that success into a state senate job.  As a state senator, he wrote “RomneyCare.”  as a U.S. Senator, he vowed to vote against ObamaCare, even though they are the same thing.

Democrat – Martha Coakley:  Her bailout plan is the opposite of mine.  While I would bail out companies that have folded, she would bail out companies that do not exist yet.  She also claims by making wise investments in health care and education, that would create jobs.  The one problem is that she would be voting against President Obama’s plan because his plan hasn’t been wise.

Other – Joseph Kennedy:  He is either an independent or a libertarian depending on who you ask.  He is quick to distance himself from the Kennedy clan by announcing he isn’t related to them or the late Edward Kennedy.  This is the wisest decision made by any of the candidates.

I guess I am running also.  I don’t want to win because being a senator is boring and there isn’t enough caffeine in Washington to keep me awake in a debate between Harry Reed and Mitch McConnell.  But if you must vote for me, my first name is spelled “A-H-M-N-O-D-T” and my last name is “H-E-A-R-E”  as in “Can you hear me?”  Only my “Hear” has an “e” at the end.

May the second best candidate win.

January 13, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Bailout, commentary, editorial, election, health care, humor, politics, satire, write-in | , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

   

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